Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Really Surprised!

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

I was shocked to see that this movie scores so low on IMDb, it is definitely one of my personal favourites.The plot seems to be the problem for most of the reviewers who didn't like the film. Well, what can I say other than it was taken right out of Boccaccio's famous Decamerone. Boccaccio being one of the most famous of all Italian writers EVER, and yes, he loved sexy, dirty stories with lots of rather ridiculous characters. (His works are available on Project Gutenberg.)What I like about it? It's tastefully sexy (yes, I love beautiful nudes), it contains some interesting characters like Tim Roth as Gerbino de la Rata, I especially like the first encounter with Count Dzerzhinsky and their exchange of words, Count Dzerzhinsky himself in his overly self-assured way, seems pretty cool too. The scene with the milkmaids in the cowshed is excellent too, revolutionizing pornography by giving the facial to the men (finally...)Comparing the movie to American teenage flicks like 'American Pie' is definitely an insult that I mind very much. It's about like comparing a Ferrari with a Chevrolet Avalanche.No, it's not deep, but does a movie have to be to be good??? Can it just be fun to watch?

This turkey has more breasts than Butterball in the third week of November.In one of the other reviews, the reviewer suggests that you could be forgiven if, at first, you think this is nothing but a soft-core porno pic... I would suggest that you're deeply mistaken if, by the end, you think it's anything else. And worse yet, it has fewer breasts and even fewer laughs (intentional or otherwise) than Bob Guccione's "Caligula," with which it shares a certain sensibility.Think of it as "The Decameron" written and directed by Benny Hill, post mortem.

"Virgin Territory" stars Hayden Christensen and Mischa Barton (don't laugh), in a rowdy medieval tale in the vein of Monty Python (though not as witty), Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and the Princess Bride. Of course, it begins with Christensen speaking with a believable British accent, which I personally feel he should adopt for all of his movie roles. He sounds more comfortable and realistic than he does using Northern American English. His accent has bothered me for years but strangely he didn't mangle the British one.Well, Virgin Territory surprised me. And I mean I am pleasantly surprised. The movie was filmed two or three years ago and was finally, very quietly released in March 2008 straight to DVD. Were the producers too embarrassed for a theatrical release? They needn't be. I've seen much much worse and for the record, Virgin Territory isn't horrible-bad, but intentionally bad since it's a parody and a sex comedy, its demographics clearly with teenage boys in mind. If any of these actors are Catholic they might be ex-communicated now, with all the sex with nuns, in twosomes and threesomes-- naked peeing cherubs and all.Aside from the questionable Mischa Barton, Virgin Territory manages a reputable cast in Tim Roth, Matthew Rhys and a handful of other actors some of you may recognize.I didn't think it was great, but think it deserved a little more than a straight to DVD release. Some obvious flaws? Mischa Barton's acting was absolutely abysmal. She had no chemistry with Hayden Christensen. The plot was aimless and probably should have been grosser. If you're going to do a dirty sex comedy, you need to bring it or the jokes fall flat.Anyway, it wasn't an entire waste of time. I really wanted to know what was going to happen next. I would recommend it. Just for the giggles. It wasn't great. It wasn't completely horrible. You've seen worse, I'm sure of it. The costumes were nice, the director managed to make the period look real, despite an able Rupert Friend in cornrolls and bad guys in leather jackets designed by Roberto Cavalli.

Back in the olden days, somewhere in Europe, renegade bad boy Lorenzo (Hayden Christensen) is on the run from Gerbino (Tim Roth), who wants him dead after a game Lorenzo won. Meanwhile, rich Pampinea (Mischa Barton) is set to be married to some foreign guy, but Gerbino wants her for himself, and Lorenzo has a little thing for her too perhaps.Lorenzo ends up in a convent, pretending he's deaf and dumb so the nuns will all have sex with him for some reason, then Pampinea, on the run, ends up at the convent too, and falls for him even more.Basically all this movie is is a very undermined porno. Nuns having sex with Lorenzo all the time doesn't really convey what nuns really do. And just the overall storyline is ridiculous. It's like a lame version of "Casanova", without the superb acting abilities of Heath Ledger and Sienna Miller, and instead the leads go to Hayden "I killed Darth Vader for every true 'Star Wars' fan" Christensen and Misha "I should've never quit 'The O.C.'" Barton. Run far away from this film, or find a place to bury it so no one will ever find it.