This is How Movies Should Be Made

Amateur movie with Big budget

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

From the makers of the feeble Disaster Movie and Epic Movie comes Vampires Suck that spoofs the Twilight saga and is a step up from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's previous efforts.Becca Crane (Jenn Proske) shows up in a gloomy town to live with her overly protective sheriff father Frank (Diedrich Bader). At her new high school, Becca is torn between two guys, the brooding ashen faced Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter) who is a vampire, and hairy handed Jacob White (Chris Riggi) who seems to be a shaggy werewolf.What the movie gets right is following the template closely of Twilight and New Moon with the actors Lanter, Proske and Riggi channelling their original counterparts closely. Lanter's Edward really looks spooky close to Robert Pattinson. The set design and atmosphere again makes you think that the directors have put an effort in getting the look right before sending up the films.What lets it down are the scatter-gun jokes and sight gags with random pop culture jokes which ages the film quickly and you might not even understand them if you live outside of the USA. The jokes are thrown about in the hope the audience might find some of them funny.The Jacob dog jokes are mildly amusing such as him suddenly chasing cats and urinating on a fire hydrant but many of the gags miss their mark.The Airplane and The Naked Gun films established the benchmark for parody films and they have also shown that they are not easy to replicate. In that regard Vampires do suck.

Spoof movies used to be a bit of a rarity in Hollywood but that certainly isn't the case anymore. In the 2000s we seem to have a new parody film released every week and it is quite common to have a parody film floating around Top 10 box office lists these days. The recent popularity in parody films seemed to start with the financially successful Scary Movie franchise. I quit like the first Scary Movie film, a spoof mainly focused on the Scream franchise also parodying other popular 90s movies. The script written by the Wayans' brothers was reasonably well written, entertaining, witty and often silly spoofing 90s movies and pop culture often at the same time. The delivery of this comedy material was also good, in particular from the actress Anna Farris who went on to have a very successful career in comedy films. The success of Scary Movie meant we got Scary Movie 2 then Scary Movie 3 and so on. Unfortunately, each sequel was much worse than the film it followed. Now we are up to Scary Movie 5 and the franchise is totally unwatchable. While the Scary Movie films were being released there was a whole bunch of awful spoof films being released across Hollywood with films like Not Another Teen Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie and so on. It makes sense for Movie Studios to make these films, they are cheap to make, get a good return at the box office and it doesn't seem to matter whether they are good or not as people go to see them regardless. When I first heard about Vampires Suck I had very low expectations, after seeing so many of these terrible 2000s spoof films I have lost all faith in the genre. Vampires Suck is a parody based on the Twilight film franchise. I quit like the Twilight films, they are entertaining but at times can be little ridiculous giving a lot of potential for someone to write a funny spoof film. Maybe Vampires Suck could be this film, unfortunately it was not.It was an incredibly painful experience watching Vampires Suck. It's lazily written as the plot is very closely based on the first two twilight films almost copying rather than parodying, occasionally slipping I the odd pop culture reference for a cheap laugh which fails miserably every time. The only small positive from this film I could give was Jenn Proske's performance as she did a good job parodying Kristen Stewart's awkward performance as Bella Swan in the Twilight films.Vampires Suck is supposed to be a comedy and I can honestly say I never laughed once through the entire 82 minutes. With a lot of bad comedy films these days the only funny lines are used up in the trailer. Having just watched the trailer for Vampires Suck I can say that there wasn't anything funny in there either, the only joke was on me because if only I had seen the trailer for Vampires Suck first I would have known it was terrible as originally thought and would not have wasted 82 minutes of my life watching this nonsense.With this current stream of terrible 2000s spoof films, Vampires suck is probably the worst one so far which is a hell of a statement in its own right. There are 644 words in this review and it would take the average reader 4 minutes to read that many words. By reading my review you will now be well aware that this is a shockingly terrible film and certainly one to avoid. Vampires Suck is 82 minutes long and by avoiding this film, misusing the 4 minutes it has taken you to read this review, I have saved you 78 minutes of your life and for that all I have left to say is your welcome.

Vampires Suck (2010) This yet another spoof, this time it a spoof of Twilight' movie.I do seem to like a lot Spoof movies, such as all the scary movies, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth, Not another teen movie, Superheor movies, i did enjoy those moviesI did not like date movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie or Stan Hellsing and i have not seen Meet the Spartans.However for Vampires Suck, I did not hate and I did not love it and I did enjoy the movie.The movie start of really poor, some of the jokes are way over the top and do not work, but after 20 mins of the movie. It did get a bit better then were some okay jokes scenes which made me laugh few times but it's much better then the god awful Disaster Movie and StanHellsing put together but not as good as any of the Scary movies or even Superhero movie.If you don't like spoof, skip it, and if you liked Shriek If You Know What IDid Last Friday the Thirteenth, then you might like this too .i going this 4 and half out 10 lol

To Jason Friedberg and Aron Seltzer: Please stop making movies. Your films are not funny, they never were funny, they never will be funny! If you can't even do a spoof of Twilight right then you are a horrible disgrace to the art of film making. It's not that the jokes in this film grew old months ago, they grew old years ago! You still have the stupid door in your face joke, the poop joke, and constant unfunny references to things like shows and other movies. For example, there is one scene where the girl ask who the Edward spoof guy is (His acting is even worse than Robert Pattison's look like Leonardo DiCaprio) and her friend list a bunch of names, the Bella spoofer says "No, not the douchebags from the Jersey Shore". Do you understand how insulted I felt to be watching this bs? If anyone you know thinks that this is a funny, well made film you have my permission to smack them with a baseball bat.