This Movie Can Only Be Described With One Word.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

I didn't know this film was this old. For a long time I felt like "I kinda wanna watch it, but have a feeling it won't be very good". But, yesterday night, my internet connection was so bad this was the only movie that loaded.Well, I thought about being sarcastic here, or a bit offensive as some people were. But no, there's no need for that. This is certainly one of the "top 5 worst" films I've ever watched. Seriously, it's that bad. Actually, it's much worse than "that bad". What attracted me? Well, Milla is very good looking, her body is very sexy and she seems to love doing action movies. And the whole future + mystic thing sounded like a good idea.The opening imitates the Marvel movies, with Comic Books and all. I thought that Ultraviolet was indeed a comic book, but it isn't. So, as I see it, the opening is a lie. They didn't need to do that. In fact, nothing at all (about the movie) resembles a comic book. Then, Milla speaks the first lines, telling the story of this version of the future: the US military altered a virus that changed humans into something else, the whole world changed and a tyrant rules everything. It's like Resident Evil's poor cousin, but with the same actress.OK, so, the story is stupid. And it goes like this: US military finds a virus, change the virus, lose control of the virus; virus changes people into vampires that walk on daylight and don't drink blood (ever!); a cliché and totally predictable tyrant rules the world (or the US, they never said so) and uses soldiers to hunt down the vampires. They don't say why they hunt the vampires, but they do. No normal human during the movie expressed any hatred towards vampires, fear of the virus, angered towards the tyrant. In fact, only the vampires and military do anything at all; the normal humans just walk around. And Milla, of course, is a vampire that "fights back". And we're supposed to cheer for her. Just because. No other reason given.Oh, and there's also the cliché of "the last hope", that is a child/clone who carries a virus, that either kills all vampires or all humans. They ping-ponged between those possibilities. Milla first tries to protect the kid, then doesn't care if he dies, protects him again but he dies, she cries and he's no dead. But she is dying. She tells the kid that mid movie. She doesn't say why she's dying. Then she does die. Then a vampire that loves her brings her back to life and she hates him for that.Then, in the end, I'm not quite sure what happens, but both her and the kid were about to die (again), but don't. Or they did and I just didn't get it, my brain was trying hard to block anything that came from that movie.The special effects are horrible! Considering the movie was released in 2006, it's all horrible. If it was released in, say, 1995 or so, they I'd say "ok, they did their best". But that just looked like a very poor game for PlayStation2. That's for the action sequences. The entire city is CGI of terrible quality, that resemble PlayStation1! Yes, seriously!Her acting is the worse I've seen of her. As the story makes no sense, the dialogues can't be saved. Weird ultra-cliché lines, everything is predictable and I'm pretty sure Milla's character is retarded. Her hair and clothes change color all the time. It was supposed to be cool, but it's just weird and stupid. She always wears the same thing, showing her midriff. OK, she does have a sexy flat tummy that I love, but everything about her is completely different from everyone else. For someone doing a covert operation, she seems to be holding a banner saying "I'm here, look at my belly button!". (which I did!)The technology is absurd! A motorcycle that runs on building's wall (up and sideways), jumps, flies and does other stuff. Guns that appear from her hands, with infinity ammo, swords with blades covered in runes and fire...it's all too much, all too absurd!And she is unstoppable. She outsmarts computers that scan blood and bone, then walks naked through a big scanner (I don't know what they were scanning now if they scanned her earlier...maybe they just wanted to see her butt). When she's gonna be mean and go "full crazy fighting mode", she put of her sunglasses (that she wears under the motorcycle helmet) and says "Watch me.". She fights one, ten, dozens...and then hundreds of soldiers. Never gets hit once! Never bleeds! Never runs out of breath. She's never afraid. She's always sure of what she is doing, and who gets in her way dies.I think she killed some 2000 enemies (soldiers and her fellow vampires). All soldiers wear the same uniform and have the same weapons: assault rifles and long blades. By the end of the movie, some elite soldiers wear all white. So, I'm thinking they had like 10 or 12 extras to use as soldiers and everything had to be repeated. The low F.X. points to low budget, so I think that was it. She only bleeds at the end of the movie. But she wins. She kills everyone. Because she wants to. It's never really clear who is the bad guy or the good guy. But she is Milla, she is hot and she fights back. So they want us to cheer for her. But we can't! There's no reason for it. At all. We don't care about any character in this movie, or what happens next.So, lame story, no plot, no character's depth, horrible F.X., impossible technology, exaggerated fights and an avalanche of clichés.If you're 10 years old, you're gonna love this!

This movie is supposed to be stylish and crap, but honestly, the special effects are really very hokey. The effects just weren't exciting at all! And the fight sequences were really bad and boring, just fake looking. That was really disappointing, I mean come on, if you can't write a decent script or get good acting out of the cast members, the cool looking effects is really all you've got left to work in your favor, but nope this movie even failed at that. And oh dear lord, the acting was atrocious, simply atrocious, Mila and all the rest of the cast was awful, and has virtually NO on screen chemistry. Mila might've looked the part, but she just couldn't act worth anything in this film, fake, cheesy and completely phoned in. The dialogue between the characters was actually pretty deep and well written. Hahaha. Just kidding. No no no, the dialogue was absolutely without a doubt horrible. This movie has one of the most cliché scripts I've ever seen in my entire life. And in some of the action sequences, that is if you can even call them that, so much incoherent fake looking crap is going on, that you can't even tell what's happening. This movie is just so unbelievably convoluted and half the time doesn't even make much sense. I guess Ultraviolet is just one more example of a cliché cheesy action film that just utterly fails in every way possible.

It seems that Ultraviolet really doesn't have too good of a reputation. I really can't get behind the negativity though as I found this to be a perfectly entertaining bit of sci-fi action. It's certainly a case of style over substance but again that's okay. The writing isn't great to be fair but the movie is more or less relentless in its action and spectacle. The reason that it ultimately gets away with this, is because Milla Jovovich looks and acts the part; and she is in practically every scene. Like many female fronted superhero movies, it gets a bad rap and I often wonder if there is at least a little bit of sexism to blame for that. But whatever the case, I usually find these types of movies far better than their reputation suggests they will be. Having a kick-ass, statuesque girl fronting a superhero flick makes them automatically more interesting as far as I am concerned.Ultraviolet, like Sam Raimi's Darkman, is one of those occasional movies that follows the conventions of a comic-book adaption without actually being based on a comic at all. The credit sequence shows various fake comics to give the impression that it is, while the storyline, title and heroine certainly seem like they have come from the pages of one. We have a dystopian future world, an immoral figure ruling over the masses, an army of robotic black-clad minions defending him, a group of rebels hopelessly outnumbered and...vampires. The latter plot element is one that could have been developed more but it is certainly quite distinctive. The action scenes are protracted, over-the-top, wilfully unrealistic and fun. The overall look is perhaps a little too fake at times, with lots of CGI and visual effects that make everything look slightly more comic-book. But, at least it has a consistency of look and feel and even if it is a little excessive, sometimes excess can be okay. It's certainly nowhere near as bad as is often made out to be. If you go into this one with the right attitude, you should really have a bit of fun.

Let me be perfectly clear: Milla Jovovich is hot. Super hot, with the "it" factor of classic movie stars, but her career careens between obscure small films and big-budget, SFX-laden action spectaculars. Her over-the-top performance in The Messenger was my favorite until I saw the very strange horror/SF/Chinese action hybrid Ultraviolet.How do I compare thee to a summer's day, sweet vampire Violet? I am going out on a limb here to say that our future, filled with disease and terrorism, will not be unlike this movie. In more ways than one, of course. While there may not be any blood-sucking mutants with 12-year life spans on the horizon, we have a rocky road to endure.I like the lead character's incredible cynicism. She may be empathetic (with her relationship to the boy clone "Six") but she cannot love. Milla turns one of the most unoriginal and clichéd female characters into a triumph of future noir pessimism. She is an unstoppable killing machine, of course, this being a necessity of SF-hybrids since the advent of The Matrix (which was a myopic stew of much better genre movie clips). Yet Milla has that amazing something despite having to speak such horrendous, trite dialogue. I would love to write her a movie where the darkness that seems to seep from her very being in almost every role can be completely fulfilled. Perhaps a science fictional Lady Macbeth -? Most of all, Ultraviolet is a vapid detonation of atomic digitalia. More pixels per square centimeter than any other "film" in history. In fact, the movie was shot with digital equipment. I could tell this in the poor resolution, the washed-out images, the incredibly fake effects. True, much of the cityscapes and action set pieces were designed to look like video games (since VG fan boys are the target audience for every Milla Jovovich SF project) but when is faux too faux? How long do we have to put up with film school rejects uploading homemade animations to YouTube becoming Hollywood directors-o-the-moment? Wasn't the Michael Bay era enough of a Dark Age for cinema? Oh wait, it's not over ….George Lucas is to blame. He convinced Brian Singer to use a digital camera for Superman Returns, which lost the VFX Oscar in 2007. He has given tens of millions to USC to raise the next generation of "bedhead" auteurs. Great filmmaking is about vision, about storytelling and wonderful characters, not acres of rendering computers. You can put actors in front of green screens for months and end up with an embarrassing, twitching, limbless Darth Vader lost in digital lava. We do not care about such caricatures. Give me Gone With the Wind or Seven Samurai any day. Remember when directors used real extras and not pixel people in service to epic drama? Ultraviolet ricochets crazily off the walls of the vampire myth and the SF-future depicted in eye candy operas like The Matrix. No amount of CGI done cheaply in Hong Kong can save it from a Hammer Horror fate: cinematic obscurity. Milla's bare midriff and slim but sexy haunches aside, there is nothing to recommend this movie except perhaps the rare moment or two where the character is actually resigned to be human, tears and all. We expect this from our tragedies, our comedies, our histories.In the end, the George Lucas attack- of-the-clone-directors will fade into oblivion and we will still want to watch My Darling Clementine just for the shot of Henry Fonda as Wyatt Earp kicking back on the front porch and squinting into the dusty western street. For film is about such wonderful cinematic moments, not what sounds good projected on someone's widescreen TV.Milla, can you save us -?