Strong and Moving!

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

Better Late Then Never

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

Where do I begin with this?I remember thinking Scary Movie 3 was mildly funny when I was 12 or 13, so I rented this movie on DVD. I was gullible at that age to honestly think that this movie was 'epic', whereas in actual fact, this film is a low budget, unfunny, poorly written, disgusting parody of all the films that were popular around the time of filming this 'film'.Every scene has to incorporate a horrendous parody of a popular film at the time, such as The Da Vinci Code, Nacho Libre, Borat, Snakes On A Plane, etc. The central parody is The Chronicles Of Narnia where they try to retell the story while cramming in too many pop culture references that couldn't possibly be in any way dated in 10 years time. (*sarcasm*)The writers/directors seem to be under the impression that humour stems from throwing in as many references as possible. The same with gross-out humour. It was really disturbing to look at half of the time.I genuinely remember thinking one scene in the film was funny (or rather, the trailer) and it's when Jayma Mays' character discovers the iconic wardrobe from Narnia, opens it and a tonne of junk and random items come bursting out of it and fall on top of her. Not a hilarious joke, but funny when I was 13. The scene plays in the actual film, the junk falls on top of Jayma Mays, and then in the next shot, a fully nude woman comes running out of the wardrobe. Errrrr.....what?Just comes to show you what the target audience (if one exists) is. Idiots with ADD, low attention spans, sexually repressed and entertained by gratuitous sex and gross scenes.Clearly the actors involved in this film needed the cash because I cannot see any benefits on an actor's career in the long run, after being associated with this disaster.

The differences between **** like "Epic movie" in Hollywood today and the wonderful musicals of Hollywood's golden age in the 40s is just so huge it's indescribable. Hollywood has been taking a slow and steady decline since the 50s, but in 50 years, the total space amount fallen will be enormous! You would think that they would learn after the failures of Scary movie 2, 3, 4 and then Date movie, but NOOOOO!!! Epic movie is the most horrible, terrible, disgusting, degrading piece of **** yet!! Willy Wonka parody but hes drinking river of poo!!! Narnia parody but the sick man/goat is giving the male beaver a sloppy wet kiss (with tongues)!!! The English guy has a hot girl (not even that hot cause she's blue) in his bed but he is wishing to change her into flabby granny arms and "junk in the trunk"!!! And there is more endless vomit and toilet humor!!! Horrible, sickening excuse for a film!!!

I strongly disagree with the rating this movie got. Get Hard (2015) should have a 2.3. Ark (2005) should have a 1.0, But this... it was nice. I think it had some good humor attached to it (the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 reference, for instance actually does make sense, and made for good laughs in my opinion). Among other things, it had a plot and didn't needlessly generate discordance (hey, since we're speaking of spoilers, I'll put in a spoiler for people - Will Farrell's Get Hard. period).Point being, it's a lampoon of movies which came out at the time. And overall, it handled those lampoons quite well, and where it succeeded was making me feel relaxed and not perturbed (Will Farrell's Get Hard, people). So, jokes apart, watch it. It is epic in its own silly way, and it doesn't shirk away from what it intended to do - it's a lampoon, and that was how it was intended to be.

Clearly the people of this movie don't know the difference between parody and reference, and thus a convoluted abomination that has no right to call itself "spoof" was born. I personally like to see something to parodied if it's done with effort, take Spaceballs for example. That movie works because it takes a look at a Star Wars like universe from a comedy standpoint, you have a big powerful leader but underneath he's a complete fool, and it's funny because you may find yourself wondering, " What if Vader was really like that?" In this abomination against mankind they look into various pop culture references that are popular and do nothing clever and comedic, they just put it in the movie and say " Hey, that exists!" Rumour has it Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have never seen the films being mocked, they just saw trailers and said "Okay, we'll do that one," and that wouldn't be surprising to say the least.While I sat watching this garbage, I instantly knew I wasn't gonna laugh. The "movie references" come off as painfully forced, like when someone plugs your nose to make you eat something you don't want. None of the references connect in any way, they're just there. The movie begins with narration from the Babe narrator which made me wish I was watching Babe. We then meet four orphans/siblings who are adults who require parenting because they never had a real family. First there's Lucy (Jayma Mayes), Edward (Kal Penn), Susan (Faune Chambers) and Peter(Adam Campbell). Yes these adults still need parental guidance, if that's the case, how did they even get where they are, they should be dead. Anyway they all win golden tickets to a factory filled with poop jokes and cheap gross-out humor, eventually they discover a wardrobe which takes them to enchanted world with the worst, rushed and unnecessary parodies. Lucy meets Mr. Tummies who takes him to his "Crib" where he gives a stupid tour of the place MTV style and then asks her to leave thus making the Cribs joke entire pointless.The only reference that made me give a tiny chuckle was the White Castle joke with Kal Penn, but everything else comes from nowhere and its atrocious to watch. The Pirates joke was the worst excuse to make the movie longer I've ever seen. Edward breaks out of jail with Jack Swallows after making a homophobic comment, where Jack takes Edward to his ship and gives us a music video but in a stupid turn of events, it was an elaborate scheme by the White Idiot (can't curse) to get information out of him. When the other three orphans meet the king, he agrees to help get Edward back in exchange for having a four way, I was ready to lose my mind at that moment. Thankfully the king dies after rescuing Edward, and before the war takes place the following day they throw a party, why? It's just pointless filler with gross-out humor that made me wanna vomit and I did. When the war happens Lucy, Edward and Susan die, and Peter pauses the bad guys with a Click remote he found, uses it to heal his siblings and they kill all the bad guys and they become rulers of the world, they urinate and they get rolled to death, movies done! This is one of the worst comedies I've ever seen, everyone in this movie is brainless, the acting is the worst, there is no existent plot just pop culture references, and it has a running gag in which Lucy repeats everything Susan says and it made me cringe every time. After I discovered this movie in my storage of old movies, I smashed it to pieces with a hammer. Nothing about the movie is good or redeeming about this abomination. This pile of rubbish gets a big fat F!