**WARNING FOR ALL WHO LITERALLY DON'T CARE (CUZ NO ONE WILL) THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS**Back in the year of 2008, there was a DCOM coming out called "Camp Rock." At first, it sounded like one of the best ideas the Disney company had ever had. It featured a new up and coming star, Demi Lovato, who is now a major name in pop music, as well as the popular Jonas Brothers, two of which are still successful to this day. It looked to feature a lot of music, some comedy, and drama, all made for tweens in the 2000s. It all seemed like a great idea, a musical dream for kids to enjoy all across the globe. Yeah, that didn't happen. *Record scratch* This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. As a 7-year-old girl who loved the Jonas Brothers, I was excited beyond belief for this movie. And I freaking loved it. I rewatched this "film" a couple of days ago after years of having not seen it and literally laughed my way through the entire thing it was so awful. The movie has three MAJOR issues that are consistent through all of the film. One problem is that just about every single person in the movie is a god awful actor. Like, they cannot act for sh*t. At all. I understand this is a kids movie and usually people don't act as well as in a movie made for adults, but wow are there "performances" immeasurably horrendous. Demi Lovato had barely any acting experience to my knowledge, and Jesus H Christ is it obvious. The Jonas Brothers are actually worse than her. Kevin Jonas plays a complete imbecile in this who has a bird house obsession, because I can guarantee you the writers sat down and said, "you know what kids like these days? Random things! LOL XD RANDOM! What's a random thing the third wheel of the Jonas Brothers can be obsessed with? BIRD HOUSES! PERFECT!" The three of them are undeniably the worst part of this movie. My favorite quote from Joe Jonas or "Shane Gray" is "I'm not wasting my entire summer at some CAMP!" I laughed so hard I almost puked. Whine, whine, whine. That's all Joe Jonas does in this movie. As mentioned, Kevin is stupid and Nick attempts to be the wiser, more humble of the three, but he's just bland and obnoxious. Hmm, maybe it wasn't a good idea to cast three people who are "musicians" and have had zero acting experience in a DCOM. Money grab? You bet your f*cking ass it was. The second problem this film has is the script. Here's a good example of what the script is like. Have you ever seen the movie "The Last Airbender?" If not, it's an atrocious adaptation of an animated kids show that featured unrealistic, ridiculous dialogue and nonsensical plot lines. Camp Rock has an M. Night Shamalamadingdong scent to it that makes me want to vomit and take a dump in my neighbors backyard. Or side yard. Every scene is cheesy, awkwardly written, and full of cringe worthy dialogue that never deserved to ever see the light of day. There are sometimes very quick moments that happen that don't further the characters and are lazily written. For instance, there's a scene where Allison Stoner's character, who plays a camper, tells Mitchie, Demi Lovato's character, and I quote, "check me out!" She then hits some random keys on a laptop which produces an awful array of beeping sounds, to which Mitchie replies, "COOL!" What the literal f*ck? The moments like this in the script are what killed a good part of what this movie could have been. But enough of that, onto the third major issue. THE SONGS. They are horrible as well as the awkward, horribly choreographed dancing.. F*cking terrible. I was unfortunately obsessed with "This is Me" by Demi Lovato as a kid and definitely regret liking it. The lyrics, although reflective and somewhat meaningful, are stupid and simplistic at times. They treat the kids that are listening like complete idiots in regards of the incredibly simple lyrics and are annoyingly catchy, so you'll probably have them worming their way into your head on repeat for about ten years after viewing this pile of filth and Disney decay. I counted, and there are literally no songs in this movie that are worthy of any recognition. Wow are they horrid. THIS SUCKS. DO NOT SEE IT. JUST NO. I could see it being okay for younger kids. Maybe ages 1- 10, but please do not subject yourself to such terror and torture if you're above that age. The movie must have done at least well enough with its audience, because a sequel was released two years later called "Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam" which was literally only 1% better than its predecessor. Just no.
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