The Worst Film Ever

Sorry, this movie sucks

A different way of telling a story

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

I heard that this was the last movie reviewed by the Cinema Snob on YouTube before he created his own website. That's the only reason I watched this stupid movie. You know, anyone can criticize a film for being overly violent. It's better to criticize something that's overly violent and also very stupid. The movie opens by showing a woman being gang raped. Wow, what a great way to start (sarcasm).The entire movie is then practically nothing but random scenes that show a bunch of obnoxious people hanging out before getting killed by a nail run. Its wielder sounds like a Power Rangers villain. I know it's meant to disguise his real voice, but it's just stupid. The movie ends with the villain jumping off and dying. He just commits suicide for no reason at all. It's just a movie where nothing happens.People are horribly killed with nails. At least it lives up to its title. There's really nothing else you need to know about the film. Apparently, this movie is somewhat well known seeing as how according to this website, it's been referenced in numerous other films. Just by hearing the title you can give this your own score. I don't recognize anyone in it and I'm glad I don't. *

"The Nail Gun Massacre" is everything it sounds like—a psychopath is roaming the backwoods of Texas with a souped-up nail gun, turning men and women into human pincushions. Could it be related to a brutal rape that occurred some six months prior? An obvious riff in title on "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" and boasting an opening rape scene unabashedly culled from "I Spit on Your Grave," "The Nail Gun Massacre" is an unabashedly derivative mid-80s riff on slasher conventions, pulled together on a shoestring budget. As bad as it sounds, I feel that this film has gotten a lot of heat from web critics who aren't really taking it on its own terms—this is not Bergman, Tarkovsky, or Kubrick—it isn't high art. It's a film whose singular distinguishing element is that its killer's weapon of choice is a nail gun. My point being, "The Nail Gun Massacre" doesn't claim to be anything other than what it is, and most horror audiences (especially those who have a taste for these older exploitation films) should know this.That aside, the film is not a technical masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. The murder scenes are surprisingly better than one would expect given the shoestring budget, and never cease to be elaborate or grotesque. A pulsing synth score accompanies most of the scenes, and is admittedly a bit overbearing, while the killer hurls goofy one-liners at the victims in an inexplicable robot voice. The acting overall is bad, but passable by eighties slasher standards. Most of the men are buffoons, and the women prancing around naked. In spite of those caveats though, the film does capture the quiet backwoods of Texas rather effectively, and it is an extremely atmospheric film given all of its shortcomings. The photography of the woods captures a strange foreboding that, whether intentional or just a happy accident, is far more nuanced than anything else about the film.All in all, "The Nail Gun Massacre" is, at least as far as eighties slashers go, not nearly as bad of a film as some may lead you to believe. It's schlocky, gratuitous, and at times badly acted, but isn't that what we love these films for? It at least has the distinguishing feature of a nail gun- obsessed killer, and it also excels at capturing the dreariness of sleepy backwoods Texas, which is more than one would necessarily expect. 5/10.

After a bunch of construction workers rape a woman, the men start getting 'nailed' by some vengeful killer carrying a nail gun.Cheap and trashy all the way, Nail Gun Massacre has to be one of the worst excuses for a horror film ever. Our villain is laughably un-scary, as he makes corny, distorted jokes during every murder! The characters are completely wooden, the plot is non-existing, and the quality of this movie basically consists of one sex scene after another with the occasional unconvincing murder. Granted though, it does have one of the better murder-during-sex scenes of the slasher genre.Only for those who love movies that look like they were shot in someone's backyard, or in the director's case his grandmother's general store. Grandma cameos as a store clerk reading a lame movie script.BOMB out of ****

Ah...my type of rotten 80's cheesy exactly! "Nail Gun Massacre" is commonly known as one of the absolute lousiest slashers ever – a reputation it definitely lives up to – but I couldn't help enjoying every insipid moment of it! The god-awful acting performances, the pointless gratuitous boob shots, the thoroughly lousy dialogues, the extreme gore!!! Simply wonderful or, to say it with the biggest cliché in horror reviewing, they just don't make 'em like this anymore! The least you can say about Bill Leslie's and Terry Lofton's "masterpiece" is that it doesn't waste any valuable time. The whole point of the movie is already illustrated during the three-minute pre-credits intro, when a bunch of hillbilly construction workers rape a defenseless girl. Only seconds later, one of them is already severely punished for his naughty behavior by a dude completely dressed in black and operating the titular tool as a murder weapon. All this during a brief intro and the best is yet to come! After the credits, that uses cheesy laughter for music, the handy avenger cheerfully continues to nail people down, only now he says something really stupid every time he fires his gun. After a good twenty minutes, half of the redneck population is already dead, while the local doctor and dumb sheriff are still cleaning up the blood of the first victim. The pacing slows down a little then, since new moronic characters need to be introduced first. But, no worries, the gore only gets sicker, the sleaze only gets...um...sleazier, and the killer's one-liners only get more retarded. Too bad his victims die so painfully before they get to hear his witty remarks. Also, the initial revenge motive doesn't stand anymore, as he's just randomly wasting horny teenagers like the average 80's slasher icon. Forget about tension or mystery surrounding the culprit's identity... You need none of that when there already is a guy waving around a nail gun! I'm rewarding this crazed flick with a 10 out of 10 rating, for sheer awfulness but most of all because it's the single most entertaining 80's slasher out there! Absolute most hilarious line: (whilst aiming at two pretty young girls) "It's time to do your nails". Total must-see!