It's not great by any means, but it's a pretty good movie that didn't leave me filled with regret for investing time in it.
... View MoreThe movie really just wants to entertain people.
... View MoreThis is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.
... View MoreIt is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film
... View MoreA group of the nation's most gruesome killers are set free by a follower of charismatic cult leader Mental Manny (Jere Burns) who survived the fire...no pun intended Mr. Burns. They go to a Halloween Funhouse which has displays/exhibits/shows of all of them as they kill their actor doubles and assume their positions at the Funhouse. Audience members are all game after paying an arm and a leg to get in. (Yes they went there with the puns.) A group of celebrity impersonator restaurant workers attend the event. Laurie (Renee Dorian) is a virgin, so we know who is "The Final Girl' by formula.I love Funhouse/Carnival slasher films with clowns, even the bad ones. This film boasts horror icon Robert Englund as the warden and Ice Cream Man Clint Howard who was also on the original Star Trek whose name sounds like the demon from "The Conjuring 2." Sorry for that plot spoiler, Hollywood added a demon to the Enfield Haunting, but no aliens. That would be silly and unbelievable.Ben Begley acted the stereotypical bumbling deputy very well. Chasty Ballesteros played her typical role as "Hot Asian Chick" only this time she has a blonde wig. Newcomer Candice De Visser has that nice "Sherrie Moon Zombie/Victoria DeMare" crazy twitch down pat.Guide:F-word, sex, nudity (Chasty Ballesteros) Human body with 5-6 major squirting arteries going to head.
... View MoreThis 2015 horror film tells about 6 psychos escaping from an asylum and head to a carnival fun park on Halloween night bringing mayhem. A group of teen friends discover that the carnage occurring is real and try to survive. Robert Englund (A Nightmare On Elm Street), Clint Howard (Ice Cream Man) and Courtney Gains (Children of the Corn) make appearances. This is an average slasher with some dark humor and gory make-up effects that obviously pays homage to "The Funhouse." Horror/Slasher fans may want to check this out at least once.
... View MoreLike all of you might be expected , The Funhouse Massacre turns out to be as cheesy as you expect it to be. A lot of unbelievably dumb jokes that might make you cringe or feeling uncomfortable , probably because they were trying so hard to be funny. That's probably the most scary thing there is in Funhouse Massacre , the cringe-worthy jokes. I must say tho , not all the jokes are bad , there are about one or two jokes that not as bad as the other.Probably the best thing about Funhouse Massacre is the gory. They did pretty darn good job for the make up ( even though a little bit too much ). The acting is average for the main characters and a little low for the small characters. Basically , Funhouse Massacre is a gory dumb B-rated horror-comedy with extra cheese in it. I'm not really a fan of this kind of movie, probably if you like this kind movie you'll probably like it. but , if you like a smart-horror movie , you might wanna to avoid it. I feel dumb after watching it , don't even know why i watched it in the first place.3/10
... View MoreI'll admit, right from the beginning of this review, that I'm probably just not the right audience for this movie. I am fairly active in the horror community. I go to a lot of conventions. I participate in a lot of message boards. I know a lot of horror fans that would love this movie. I'm just not one of them. I'm trying to think of a way to put this review that won't come across so snobby, but I'll just say that it's a horror movie for people who don't want to think, at all. I usually prefer my horror with a little more intelligence behind it. That's not to say that I can't enjoy my share of mindless gore and scares, but this movie just seems so much to be aimed at an uncultured and uninformed younger audience.I took a lot of writing classes in my life. There were always a few students in each class that just didn't seem to get it, at all. They had drive. They had interest in writing. They just didn't have a creative thought in their heads. Everything they wrote seemed to be crafted from others' ideas and that's the way this movie feels. It's horror created by Beavis and Butthead, as assemblage of ideas that have been done to death and done far better. The movie does seem to hint, now and then, that its' acknowledging its' use of generic tropes, but admitting that you're stealing someone's ideas doesn't forgive that you are doing so. Yes, there are movies like BEHIND THE MASK or SCREAM that have taken those ideas and twisted on them, while admitting they are doing so, but this movie doesn't come anywhere close to the level of writing in those classics.We open with a scene at an asylum that feels far too much like the tour in HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES. It's a scene by scene introduction to our cast of killers with no creativity or thought given to it, just this killer has a cutesy nickname and here's what he did, then this one, then this one, all guided by Robert Englund who is featured on the poster, but actually has about a 30 second role. Our rogues gallery reads like the most generic gathering of horror clichés you'll ever see. The leader of the gang is a cult leader who's a cross between The Joker and Jim Jones. That joker comparison is apt because we meet his daughter who is a straight up rip off of Harley Quinn. The movie even goes so far as to name her "Ms Quinn". This is perhaps the ultimate lazy writing. It's like the writer thought "Hey, I love Harley Q. I'm gonna put a horror version of her in my movie. I'll go ahead and call her Ms. Quinn and act like I'm doing it with a wink and a nod and maybe nobody will notice that I'm done nothing but steal someone else's idea". She's not even a very good imitation. The actress is terrible and moves with odd, stilted movements throughout the film. I've seen a hundred cosplayers who could have done this better.Our killers continue with Clint Howard as a human taxidermist (because that's original), we get a fat chef who likes to cook people, a deranged dentist and maybe the laziest of all the characters, an evil clown. Really?? An evil clown?? There are hundreds of other generic low budget horror flicks riddling Netflix and the internet that all seem to think this is a good idea. We get it, people think clowns are scary. The idea got stale about 20 years ago, people. Of course, we need victims, so we get a cast of co-workers, who fit snugly into horror typecasts, but are all far too old to be working at a dive diner and going to a haunted house together acting as if they are seeking scares and thrills. The slut is annoying. The jock is a cardboard cutout. The stoner kids try to be funny and fail continually. The "final girl" is neither attractive or interesting enough for anyone to care. The one character who works, at all, is the true main character, who wear a Dr. Who costume throughout the movie. The characters are given horrible jokes and bad dialog. They actually pull out "That's what she said" jokes, as if that hadn't got old around the time your granddad caught on 3 years ago and started using it.The only thing particularly interesting about the movie is, perhaps, the gore, which is just content to be full of ample amounts of fake blood. The effects and gags are never really good. That is not a budget limitation, either, because I've seen plenty of low budget horror do more with no more budget than this had. The effects never go for realism, in any way, and instead just settle for "look how much blood we can spill". There's a certain deranged fun in them, but even for a gorehound like myself, I want something more convincing.This review ended up more harsh that I intended, but I often feel that the best way to get a true sense of your feelings on a movie is to start writing a review about it and see what flows out. The movie is fun in certain parts, but is aimed at the lowest common denominator, shooting squarely for those who don't want to have to put too much thought into their horror movie. If that's you, I'm not judging. It's just not my thing.
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