Did you people see the same film I saw?

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

Five people are part of a tour of old catacombs, yet get separated from everyone else. They find themselves in the company of the Crypt Keeper (Ralph Richardson, Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?), who looks nothing like the character from the E.C. Comics or the later HBO series. He begins to tell each of them how they came to be in his chambers....And All Through the House (based on Vault of Horror #35)Joanne Clayton (Joan Collins, Empire of the Ants, I Don't Want to Be Born) has murdered his husband on Christmas Eve. Yet even as she hides the body - scrubbing impossibly crimson blood from her immaculate white fur carpet - a killer dressed as Santa Claus is stalking her. If she calls the police, they'll discover her crime. If she doesn't, she's dead.Her daughter (Chloe Franks, who is wonderful in another Amicus anthology, The House That Dripped Blood, which we covered on one of our first podcasts) thinks that the killer is Santa and lets him in. Not the best of ideas, as he's soon chasing Joanna all over the house.Reflection of Death (based on Tales from the Crypt #23)Carl Maitland (Ian Hendry, Theater of Blood) has left his family to be with his lover, Susan. That said, as they drive away, they are in an accident and no one will stop to help him after he awakens. His wife is already with another man. Susan is blind and claims he died two years ago. And by the time he figures out the truth, it's too late. Poetic Justice (The Haunt of Fear #12)Edward and James Elliott hate their neighbor Arthur Grimsdyke (Peter Cushing is absolutely perfect in this role and if you don't know who he is, I recommend that you shut down your computer and weep), who has plenty of dogs and loves to entertain the neighborhood's children. They take his dogs from him, they get him fired from his job and finally convince the parents that he's a child molester. A widower who speaks to his wife even after death, Grimsdyke can take no more after James sends his mean-spirited Valentines, signing the name of every neighbor. But one year later, Grimsdyke rises from the dead and sends Edward a very personal Valentine's Day card with the help of his son's still beating heart.This part is perfect. From the scorn of the rich toward the poor to Cushing's emotional pain (he was reeling from the death of his beloved wife Violet Helene Beck and had even tried to give himself a heart attack by repeatedly running stairs in his home, hoping to find a way back to her) and his rise from the earth, this is everything horror movies should be.Wish You Were Here (The Haunt of Fear #22)A retelling of The Monkey's Paw, this story finds businessman Ralph Jason (near bankruptcy when his wife Enid finds a Chinese figure that will give three wishes. The first, for money, comes true when she gets Ralph's insurance money after he dies in a car crash. Her second is to bring him back exactly as he was before the accident, but she learns that he had a heart attack upon seeing a skeletal motorcycle rider. Finally, she wishes for him to come back alive and to live forever, but as he's already been embalmed, he awakens to horrifying pain. Even after she chops him up, he remains alive. Blind Alleys (Tales from the Crypt #46)Major William Rogers is the new director of the home for the blind, but he immediately cuts the budget. The men must now deal with constant cold and a lack of food while he lives the high life with his German shepherd. The blind men rise up and turn the tables, putting Rogers in a maze where he is blinded, bloodied and finally murdered by his own dog.The Crypt Keeper then reveals that this isn't what may happen. It has already happened and he is there to send them all to Hell. He looks directly at the viewer, breaking the fourth wall and asks, "And now... who is next? Perhaps you?" This ending would be recycled for several Amicus films but gets me every single time.

As I stated in a previous review I did of "Tales From The Crypt Presents: Demon Knight" I have been a fan of TFTC since I was a little kid. While this is markedly different from the Tales that most people know, its still great fun. Five individuals are lured away from a tour group and greeted by the cryptkeeper (NOT the one most of us love and are familiar with) and not allowed to leave as five different tales about their deaths are woven. As is with most anthology movies, the stories that are told can be hit or miss. My personal favorites are the first one (Which, coincidentally, is the same story they used as the first episode in the first season of HBO's Tales From The Crypt) where a deranged Santa stalks a murderous housewife,the third one, in which a sad, lonely but kindly old man is wronged greatly, commits suicide, and then seeks revenge from beyond the grave,and the fourth, which is a variation of the old "Monkey's Paw" story. The other two stories, the second and fifth, are just OK. The second story could have been better, if it were longer, but its the shortest one in this collection. All in all, this is a neat old horror flick, and if you're a fan of all things Tales From The Crypt, you should enjoy it.

I'm a fan of the E.C. comics series "Tales from the Crypt" along with the TV show that got me into the comics and anthology horror in general. This film is one of my favorite anthology horror films that I've seen, let alone comic book adaptation films that are actually good and I personally feel is a bit under the radar.It's true that the only think this anthology lacks is the humor and more of the gore element which were some of the things that made the E.C. Horror comic series, due to the fact this film was going for a more serious approach. But it still retains the scares, morality and the anthology format like in the comics.The production value is solid, the effects were on par we actually got to see a bit of blood in a place or two. I like the music score which is solid as they use the old "Phantom of the Opera" organ theme for the theme of this film which felt right. And also liked certain suspenseful tunes in a place or two.I like Ralph Richerson as the Cryptkeeper, really like that Skull Throne I thought that was cool but also added to his dark presence. He's a really solid horror host, he has a dark and mysterious arroa about him as he seems like a person that is letting on more than he is telling. And each of the main characters in the tales are antagonists that you dislike and hate, and like in all of the E.C. tales you know their going to pay the price.Each of the tales I think are really great in their own way, which ones you love the most are up to you but that's always how it goes with anthologies letting you be the judge, let alone providing you with a wide selection of stories.One of them is of course "And All though the House" this was of course retold in the TV show. But I really love this tale because it was the first or one of the first horror stories that decided to actually have a horror story take place on a holiday, Christmas out of all of them which was a risk move but a good one. I really like the sense of dread as you never know where the killer Santa is going to pop out, the look of the serial killer Santa I thought was creepy as he really dirty looking and has sort of a crazy looking eye; there is always something about evil in the guise of a symbol of innocence that makes the antagonist all the more scary because it really gives a disarming feel.Another of course stared one of my favorite actors Peter Cushing and this film was literally one of his last horror films. In this film he plays a protagonist that you really like, even though he doesn't look like much he's a guy you can be friends with as he is unselfish and always kind, fixing things mainly toys for the kids and takes care of lots of dogs. He's also a widower which makes you feel some pathos for him, Peter Cussing actually put a little of himself on those scenes since his own wife passed on closely before this film. In a way it makes it all the more hard to watch this character go down as some rich frak butt wipe wants to destroy that man's life because he's not upper class like them which in a way makes the perpetrator's scheme a hate crime. You just completely hate the antagonist from beginning to end as he just doesn't let up on his cruel jokes, I guess he never learned the old saying, "joke's over by now." Seeing this you honestly are waiting for the perpetrator to let's just say receive his Hallmark card from Hell.The final tale is my favorite, I really like the blind man protagonist whom you really feel bad for as he and his companion in the home are getting less of what they need. While the former Major whom of course is a Major butt head that runs the joint is practically robbing the home blind (no pun intended) he is using the funds of the home for himself, which isn't right. But also he doesn't give a crap about the blind, the fact that their even disabled, to him disability is complete weakness that gets nothing.And of course something happens which of course means war, and it was great seeing the Blind man protagonist along with his friends, despite the loss of sight there wits are razor sharp. The final part is great as it is to me one of the most suspenseful sequences ever as we see the Major go thought a strange gauntlet, and one of the sections is a wall of razor blades. I'll admit I couldn't help but wince every time the major cut himself it looked and sounded painful.So enter the Crypt, if you dare.Rating: 4 stars

This was the first, and in my opinion, the best of several horror anthologies that Amicus Productions created in the 70s based off the stories from EC Comics. For those not familiar with some of those name a little history. Amicus Productions was a Brit film studio that was the closest competitor to the legendary Hammer Studios, so the movies always felt a great deal similar to the work from Hammer that more people are familiar with in horror. EC Comics really kept horror alive during the 40s and 50s when the studios weren't producing as many horror films by bringing monsters and mutilations to the kids in comic book form. Many of these stories were originals and some were re-workings of popular stories from pulp mags like WEIRD TALES. These stories were so influential that most horror directors for decades to come would point to them as early inspirations. As a result, horror fans often see these same stories reworked in many TV shows and films so much that they feel familiar, but most originated in these comics. Most often these stories involved some reprehensible person who got his "comeuppance" in the end through some ironic twist death. Sorry for the history lecture. I get a bit geeky about this stuff. On to the movie....As with any anthology, there are uneven ups and downs as not every segment is of the same quality. Overall, though, this is an excellent movie that is a lot of fun both for fans of modern horror as well as the old school monster fans.The wraparound story involves the Crypt Keeper introducing these stories to each of 5 people, with a conclusion that gives us one last little twist. There isn't much meat to the wraparound, but it does a fine job of tying things together and bringing some atmosphere and tone.AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE is probably my favorite segment. It's got everything you can want; multiple murders, an evil Santa, a sexy as hell Joan Collins and excellent directing. Francis really keeps the dialog to a minimum here and let's the creepy story do the work. I could watch over and over.REFLECTION OF DEATH may be the weakest, but is also the shortest. A character is essentially reliving the same nightmare over and over. There is a typical twist, but only the dullest viewer won't see it coming.POETIC JUSTICE features one of the best roles I've seen Peter Cushing play as it's so different from his usual. It's a heartbreaking story in a lot of ways as he see some neighbors ruin the life of a kind old man. Naturally, he gets his vengeance in the end with some fairly good zombie makeup to boot.WISH YOU WERE HERE is a take on the old story "The Monkey's Paw" which is your basic "you get 3 wishes, use them wisely" tale. There is some flawed logic in the story, which I usually don't let detract too much in a fun horror tale, but mostly it's just dull for not using the premise nearly as fulfilling as it could have been done.Finally, BLIND ALLEYS is the longest segment and a good one. An army officer takes command of a home for the blind and treats his residents all too poorly. As with all EC tales, he is going to pay for his sins, but it's the retribution forced on him by the blind denizens of the home that is worth the wait, though one can't help but have wanted a little more grue.If you've seen the HBO show, you're probably familiar with a few of these stories. Anyone who loves those old horror comics or stuff like CREEPSHOW and TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE will surely enjoy this memorable movie.