Touches You

Thanks for the memories!

best movie i've ever seen.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

One of the top reviews is very extensive and boasts this film is "Gore Galore." I didn't read that until after watching the movie and I honestly cannot understand what struck them as gory. I remember thinking that the movie could easily get away with a PG-13 rating considering it has basically no nudity or sex at all, the killings are shortcutted and mostly bloodless. Aside from that, the movie is extremely slow paced and boring. It's not bad because it was for all intensive purposes an 'Alien' rip-off, it's bad because the director used all that previously developed footing and then did nothing creative with it. So the movie gets slammed for being an Alien rip-off because not only does it follow the plotfolds of that movie 100%, but it also fails miserably to even come close to the level of suspense, writing, or neat special effects. If you want to see a cool alien rip-off that actually succeeds on some level of being creative in it's own right, then check out X-Tro, X-Tro 2, or Alien 2 : Sulla Tera.

A group of archaeologists on an unnamed planet get more than they bargained for when they unearth some crystals. One crew member immediately dies when exposed to them and soon Sandy (Judy Geeson) finds herself kidnapped and impregnated by an alien. This causes her to have superhuman strength and decide to kill everyone. Totally a bummer for Mark (Robin Clarke), the mission leader and her old boyfriend. My earlier viewing Norman J. Warren's PREY (1978) prompted me to revisit the only Warren film I had seen. I still enjoy this cheap-o ALIEN (1979) clone as it unfolds like a slasher in a space mining camp. Seriously, these characters act just like the thick headed teens in a body count flick, always doing dumb stuff like leaving secure areas. Hell, they fall for the "I'm okay, help me" bit from Sandy twice! It is the kind of movie where someone gets their oxygen helmet opened and instantly fall back with their arms out, gasping for air (hint: use your arms to close the helmet). I also love the bit of tension from a woman whose foot gets caught. She barely attempts to dislodge it, cries when they tell her to connect two wires on her suit and then decides the best course of action is to cut her own foot off. She doesn't make it. The film also answers the age-old question of "which alien pregnancy came first, the INSEMINOID or the XTRO?" It was INSEMINOID, although XTRO topped it in terms of the gross out factor. What is up with you Brits and alien pregnancy?

Another blatant cash-in/knock-off/rip-off of Ridley Scott's Alien, Norman J. Warren's low-budget sci-fi/horror Inseminoid is an absolutely dire viewing experience from start to finish, cheap and nasty to look at, poorly directed, and devoid of any originality, atmosphere, tension or excitement whatsoever.Shot in and around Chislehurst Caves, which are made to look like an alien environment through the 'clever' use of coloured filters and a smoke machine, this cheap, exploitative piece of crap sees a group of interplanetary boffins (including past-their-prime Hammer babes Stephanie Beacham and Judy Geeson, and future star Victoria Tennant) discover a malevolent extraterrestrial buried in a tomb. The creature infects a member of the team, turning him into a raging maniac, before raping Geeson's character, sending her into a non-stop fit of violent hysterics for the rest of the film (I found Geeson's performance virtually unbearable; I cheered when she got strangled).Visual effects are primitive (think 'Blakes 7' and you won't go far wrong), there is some rather basic gore which is unlikely to impress, and only Geeson gets her baps out (Stephanie's would have been better), but praise must go to the set, prop, and costume designers, without whose sterling work I wouldn't have laughed so hard: the movie's high-tech space base is constructed from plywood, vacuum formed plastic (decorated with naff futuristic stencil graphics), and assorted plastic crates; the deep space exploration team come equipped with a set of hedge trimmers (!?!?); and space-wear consists of a choice of silver or gold jumpsuit teamed with either a firefighter's mask or motorcycle helmet, and a length of vacuum cleaner hose attached to supply oxygen.

This movie is without a doubt the most awfully bad movie i have ever seen! I mean, is this really a movie? the only thing scary about this movie is the acting,direction,effects and most certainly script. The screenwriter literally seems not to give a flying sh#¤"! even troll 2 is a better movie than this, and i didn't know any movie could possibly be worse than troll 2. if you get past the annoying intro and the watch another ten minutes... don't worry, it doesn't get any better. it gets far far worse! when i purchased this movie, the tag-line on the cover is as follows "in alien it was war, in inseminoid nothing is that easy"! damn right. give me a man eating beast any time of the day. it's better to be ripped to pieces than bored to death. i am proud of enduring the entire movie. after this inhumane suffering i am prepared for anything! this movie doesn't deserve to exist other than a torture devise!