The Worst Film Ever

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

I didn’t really have many expectations going into the movie (good or bad), but I actually really enjoyed it. I really liked the characters and the banter between them.

A church owned house by a lake has had a violent and gory history. A creepy local woman (Jacquelyn Hyde) tells the family moving in there that a curse from an executed witch from 1692 hangs over the place looking for revenge. Since the witch was drowned and not burned she is believed to still be around causing mayhem in supernatural ways. This movie opens with a long segment in which two boys playing pranks get killed by having a head explode in a microwave and chopped in half at the waist respectably. All though the sequence is too long, it is effective and good gory way to start this unbalanced horror film. We are then introduced to the family moving into the house and a couple local ministers checking on the property. A cop (Salmi), straight out of a TV show, is around investigating the two boy's deaths. We're also introduced to some poor acting and some clumsy dialog, but Director James W. Roberson disguises this by injecting a supernatural saw blade that churns all the way through one of the minister's body and a hanging. Just when you've had enough of the cheesy characters and poor acting, the film shifts gears and shows us a flashback scene revealing the execution of the possessed witch (Carole Goldman) which is more than scary. The witch, her possession, and her wicked voice is quite chilling and this sequence elevates this entire movie. The movie really picks up steam as the witches spirit manifests itself into a clawed creature which begins to take out the cast in gory manner. A spike is hammered into one girl's head, The Mother (Carlin) is tossed around the kitchen like a rag doll and some definite atmosphere and suspense are generated. The ending is a little quick but sets a proper dark tone. All in all, 'Superstition' tries to disguise its flaws by delivering some solid horror imagery and scares that all drips in a decent amount of blood. If you can stick with the movie through the rough acting and pacing problems, it will deliver some nice horror along the way to keep you entertained.

Just as a big budget does not guarantee a film will be worthwhile, neither does a small budget mean it will be rubbish. This has a small budget, and it is rubbish. We've seen this sort of thing before the 1980s and not infrequently since. Here we have a fairly enigmatic if not mysterious piece of real estate including a pond, and a series of accidents and/or murders that have a clear supernatural connection. The big question is, do we have a plot? Well, sort of. We have a priest who dresses in a rather unpriestly fashion, and a cynical detective who is in no mood to arrest a ghost, but that is about it. And yes, and the old woman who warns of a long dead witch.The script isn't that bad, and there is a fair amount of gore, but once you've said that, you've said it all. Will our valiant priest triumph over the powers of darkness? More to the point, who cares?

Though distinct subgenres, it didn't take long for the supernatural horror film and the slasher film to breed. The offspring, the supernatural slasher, would later become widely popular in the late eighties, with the "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Hellrasier" franchises. Yet earlier examples exist, such as 1982's "Superstition," a surprisingly brutal horror flick that freely mixes the supernatural with gory kills.The film begins like many horror films of the era. With a couple making out in a car, outside a spooky old building. When a creepy face pops out next to their window, the teens show a surprisingly amount of intelligence by getting the heck out of there. The pranksters responsible for the creepy dummy aren't so smart. They stay inside the old house and are brutally murdered by a mysterious force. Turns out the home is owned by the local church. A new family, the Leahys, are moving into the building. The head priest dying in an especially grotesque accident doesn't deter them any. The house is in fact cursed, haunted by the spirit of a witch executed in the 1800s. Now that a silver cross has been removed from the near-by lake, where the witch was drowned centuries ago, her spirit is free to wreck havoc. Reverend in-training David seems to be the only one aware of this and its up to him to save the day."Superstition" is mostly notable for its incredible violence. Most American slasher films of the early eighties took after "Halloween," suggesting far more gore then they actually showed. "Superstition," on the other hand, takes after the sadism of Italian splatter flicks. The movie begins with a head exploding in a microwave before showing somebody sawed in half at the waist. Before the boy dies, his upper half writhes in agony. The older priest dies when a buzz-saw spins off its handle, bouncing across the room, slamming into his chest, blood spraying everywhere. A body is crushed in a wine press. A railroad spike is slowly hammered into a teenage girl's face. A mirror explodes, glass shredding a man's body. Even the milder kills have a mean spirit about them, such as the family's mother being tossed around a room for minutes. To show how uncompromising the film is, even a young child is killed. Despite being about a stereotypical cackling witch, "Superstition" is uniformly nasty.Yet the film has something else going for besides its brutal gore. "Superstition" manages to build some impressive atmosphere. The movie is a bit of a slow build, various red herrings being explore in the first hour, such as the mentally disabled son of the creepy old woman next door. The last half-hour, however, is confined almost solely to the house. The lights go off, bathing the whole film in a cool blue. The black shadows blend with the blue night, lending a classical haunted house vibe. The best moment involves the witch appearing at the top of the steps, her robes billowing in the wind, her body silhouetted against the window. Even if its harsh gore is bound to be more memorable, "Superstition" still succeeds at other goals.Interestingly, none of the family members are the main character. In truth, they're one of the film's weakest attributes. The two daughters are both somewhat annoying. The blonde spends a lot of time in bed, traumatized from an earlier attack. The brunette, meanwhile, argues with her parents as they refuse to acknowledge something weird is happening. The father is an alcoholic and the mother doesn't even get that much characterization. A subplot involves detectives investigating an earlier murder. This storyline is bluntly resolved when both men are killed by the witch. Similarly, the plot involving the old woman and her son doesn't go much of anywhere. Instead, the hero of film is another man of the cloth. David Thompson is a man of God and an unlikely sleuther. Thompson, as played by James Houghton, is a surprisingly likable hero, especially when he becomes a hero at the end."Superstition's" grim tone and strong violence are met with a grim ending. This is one of the few slashers I can think of where evil wins. Even if the film is nihilistic and downbeat, there's still something interesting about it. Gorehounds are bound to love it but there's enough unique about the film to keep it interesting to experienced horror fans.

Near an abandoned old house, a young couple parked for sex is interrupted by pranksters. The pair gets spooked off, and then the area is visited by a real monster. This turns out to be a witch drowned in a swampy pool of water on the property, probably. The angry 300-year-old creature intends to grab the entire cast, one-by-one, and murder them in ways which show the greatest amount of gore permitted for the cameras, apparently. This is all happening for reasons which will likely leave your brain immediately after they are explained, in forgettable flashback...Our star is handsome wavy-haired reverend James Houghton (as David Thompson). He helps get the house ready for the family of alcoholic fellow reverend Larry Pennell (as George Leahy) and his wife Lynn Carlin (as Melinda). Police investigator Albert Salmi (as Sturgess) and Mr. Houghton stick around for the murders. They admire Mr. Pennell's nubile daughters Heidi Bohay (as Ann) and Maylo McCaslin (as Sheryl). They are admirable. Other than that and the gore, it's nice to see little brother Billy Jayne-Jacoby (as Justin) shares my glass-dusting finger check.***** Superstition (8/26/82) James W. Roberson ~ James Houghton, Albert Salmi, Larry Pennell, Lynn Carlin