Memorable, crazy movie

Let's be realistic.

Highly Overrated But Still Good

Brilliant and touching

I do love a great eighties horror film. They're so bad they're good. Therefore, I was delighted when I found 'Rumpelstiltskin' on Netflix and wondered how I managed to miss this one during the eighties. Then, about halfway through, I realised (with a little help from the internet) that it was actually made in the nineties. I don't really know why I feel the need to mention that so early – perhaps because the film simply feels like it was made in the eighties. That and because I couldn't get the Terminator out of my head.Rumpelstiltskin is a – sort of – modern take on the fairy tale about the little man who tries to steal babies unless you can guess his name. He was happily kiddie-snatching all those hundreds of years ago when a crafty old witch only caught him in the act and banished him into a statue. Then, in the eighties (yes, I still refuse to believe that this was filmed in the nineties) he's thawed out, yadder, yadder, yadder and now he's after another mum with another baby.And, in my opinion, it kind of felt like the original Terminator film. There was an unstoppable creature hunting down a helpless woman with a man to protect her. Okay, so Sarah Connor was lucky enough to have Kyle Reece to help her out. Here, the female protagonist has a sleezy chat-show host to generally get in the way and wind her up. He's definitely no Kyle Reece, but he is pretty amusing.Rumpelstiltskin could just be another monster B-movie, but it's basically saved by the titular monster's performance. He's just so delightfully nasty. He's impervious to pain and knows it. Therefore, he likes to take his time as he stalks and terrorises all those who get in his way.The film knows what it is and doesn't ever try and take itself seriously. If you like slightly tongue in cheek films with a thoroughly evil little man at the centre of it all then give this horror classic a go (especially if you can catch it on Netflix for free!).

RumpelstiltskinThe argument for and against removing a boy's rumpelstiltskin is a gross one that should not be depicted in a movie.Fortunately, the rumpelstiltskin in this horror is a goblin that steals children, not the removal of access epidermis. Centuries ago, a demonic creature christened Rumpelstiltskin was forever encased inside of a bauble.Nowadays, Rumpelstiltskin's ornate prison finds itself on a dusty shelf of a store dedicated to the occult. One day, mom Shelley (Kim Johnston Ulrich) happens upon the curio shop and enters. Captivated by the object, she purchases it and takes it home.But when the creepy tchotchke is accidentally trashed, Rumpelstiltskin escapes and carries on his baby-napping ways, starting with Shelley's newborn.Inspired by the Grimm fairy tale, this low-budget parable's attempt at terror only results in laughable performances and a weak plot.Besides, if he's so into baby-napping, why doesn't Rumpelstiltskin just become an au pair? (Red Light)vidiotreviews.blogspot.ca

This knockoff of LEPRECHAUN is slow-moving, considering the flick spends most of its time with people speeding along highways and back roads, and it becomes all too obvious the filmmakers were working with no budget. Good old Uncle Rump is imprisoned in a jade carving in the 1400s and is accidentally freed in 1995 by a young widow with an infant. All the little goblin wants is the baby. Mom understandably stands between him and her baby. Rump slays a few people along the way, cackles a lot, and that's about it. The goblin is clearly pattered on the Leprechaun, and admittedly is occasionally amusing. The young mom on the run reminded me a little of the legendary Betsy Russell of 1980s and 1990s horror films, but without the acting ability. This may be safely skipped.

Everyone's favourite Passions star (IVY CRANE!!!!) lights up the screen in this horrifically bad schlock horror. (By 'schlock' I mean horror so bad that it isn't even funny!) Now I love bad horror...But this was beyond the joke.A woman, whose police-officer husband has just been shot to death in a car jacking, buys a strange relic in an antique store. Despite the warnings of the badly-dressed witch running the store (who looks suspiciously like Stevie Nicks), she buys the lump of stone that looks like it belongs in the bowl of a public toilet.While she cries at home and wishes to have her husband back just one last time, her tear hits the 'turd rock' and her prayers are answered. Her husband returns and they go at it like rabbits in 7 seconds of tacky, mild sex.After waking, 'Ivy Crane' finds a strange dwarf in her shower with annoyingly squinty eyes and really bad dentures. He demands her first-born child and she refuses.From here, the movie involves 'Ivy' running from the little gremlin and causing the deaths of friends and by-standers along the way.The horror is bland. The supporting cast are probably now in rehab. The one-liners are cornier than creamed corn smeared on a cob of the vegetable of the same name.I now realise why this movie looks so 80s, despite being released in 1996. It was so bad that every major studio turned it down over a period of 16 years. AVOID!