Truly Dreadful Film

It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.

I saw this movie before reading any reviews, and I thought it was very funny. I was very surprised to see the overwhelmingly negative reviews this film received from critics.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

The plot: A vampire infiltrates the off-Broadway community, intending to feed on the cast and crew, after putting on his avant-garde re-interpretation of Hamlet.When I saw the title, I figured this was going to be an unwatchable mess. Still, since I'm such a huge fan of Stoppard's play, I figured that I'd give it a chance. Hell, I've watched more Troma movies than anyone I know, so it's not like I have any right to say that I have standards.I steeled myself for lame theater puns and ironic references to the Stoppard play, but I was actually quite surprised. Yes, there are lame theater puns and a couple references to the Stoppard play, but this is more properly a parody of Hamlet and Dracula. Depending on your tolerance for unsophisticated humor, you may even find it funny. It's not really all that witty or intelligent, but it's stupid and wacky enough to be mildly amusing, much like Troma movies.6/10 might be a bit generous, but, for those us out there who are very easily amused, I think you could do worse.

I'm a sucker for folded, reflexive and referential narrative, and especially so when built on Carroll or Shakespeare. So take this comment in that spirit. You will probably find this movie juvenile, but there are some clever things going on.The overall shape is based on the play and not on people or romance. Each performance of Hamlet in this world is a reincarnation of a complex being at war with itself. Over thousands of performances, it tries to resolve its inner conflicts, sometimes going back. There is a complex secondary karma as these performances sweep up the actors and sometimes the audience, "infecting" them with energetic plasma.To negotiate this story, we enter through the eyes of a potential savior, each intelligent director being the next fresh soul to attempt to bring order to the play. His life has its own dramas and the players and situations in his life fold into the play. Tensions involve sex, death, blood, being. It springs from Stoppard as much as from Shakespeare.So far so good, a standard Hamlet.The key participants are the sons of John Lennon and Dustin Hoffman. They have no idea what is going on, none. There are some women, and some attempt to weave a universal female around Ophelia, but she is played by a talentless model. Everyone involved in the actual staging of this play decided to pretend to be inept so as to hide their ineptness.Good stuff spoiled. We could have had a "Shadow of the Vampire" crossed with "Tampopo." What we have instead is unwatchable, except for the first few moments with Bijou Philips in a fairy costume. The camera loves her.Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.

ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ARE UNFUNNY. Despite a clever concept and one or two witty moments, the film (which deals with vampires, not zombies) isn't all that amusing. The good news is that the film is well produced with good production values all around. Bit parts are filled out by the likes of Ralph Maccio, Jeremy Sisto and Chip Zien (the Baker from Sondheim's INTO THE WOODS). But in place of comic bite, R&G delivers a muddled plot that wouldn't be feasible to the least lively corpse. I found it amusing that the lead character Julian Marsh shares his name with the lead character in 42nd STREET, the ultimate show-biz flick. But is this cleverness, or mere coincidence? I'm not sure - and therein lies 'the rub'.

This movie is so different than the other vamp movies out there, the plot, cast and camera usage creates a genre on its own. It does not conform to any monster/comedy movies I have seen out there. Sort of like a Frankenstein of its own with parts sewn on from a variety of different genres that you would not think would work, but it comes together!! New Comer Jordan galand filters the creation of this movie through fresh eyes and the viewer never knows what is going to happen next. The Performance by Devon Aoki was quite noteworthy as well, as I think this is the first speaking role I have seen her in. other interesting appearances are Ralph Machio and Jake Hoffman. Whose deadpan acting wants you to see more.