the audience applauded

Absolutely Brilliant!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

. . . RED SONJA flick of note playing on the Big Screen during the past two or three decades. That's because this offering from the 1980s got it right the first time. While BATMAN, SUPERMAN, SPIDER-MAN, and THE INCREDIBLE HULK all suffered through countless "reboots," newcomer "Nielson's" rating began--and ended--on top. Her dazzling RED SONJA debut is the Major League Baseball equivalent of some American League flame-throwing rookie relief pitcher getting his first-ever MLB at-bat with the bases loaded but two outs in Game Seven's bottom of the 18th and earning a World Series ring by hammering a walk-off Grand Slam on a 3-2 pitch. Eight guys played Batman, but you'll NEVER see even half that many chicks portraying RED SONJA. Just as T.A. Edison could only electrocute "Topsy" the universally beloved Coney Island elephant once (1904--you can STILL see this pachyderm sizzle at the taxpayer-funded U.S. Library of Congress website), RED SONJA could only give birth to WONDER WOMAN & Company a single time.

A sword and sorcery epic which is let down by wooden acting and a lethargic, plodding storyline. Following CONAN THE BARBARIAN and CONAN THE DESTROYER as a sort of semi-sequel, there is also a surprisingly lack of on screen violence, with only one or two beheadings, no blood spraying anywhere, people just being run through with swords. RED SONJA may not be the worst of the worst but it is pretty uninspiring.Brigitte Nielsen stars in her first role. Surprisingly she turns out to be even more wooden than her co-star Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nielsen might look good in a tunic but she totally lacks any natural charisma which makes her character a difficult one to like. Sadly Schwarzenegger is relegated to a supporting role in this one and he is given little to do apart from hack up some bad guys and do some silly strongman acts. Sandahl Bergman makes a good, wicked villainess but she sprouts clichéd dialogue which makes her look idiotic. Ronald Lacey also appears but is wasted in a supporting role. Look hard and you may spot Italian exploitation babe Janet Agren filling out a minor role.The film opens with some pillaging, burning, a massacre, and a young survivor swearing vengeance. Strange, exactly the same as in both CONAN and THE BEASTMASTER. To add insult to injury there is only ONE monster in the entire film, an underwater creature made of metal which Arnie gets to ride in the film's highlight. Negative points include an annoying kid who should have been wasted and some poor comic relief. At least the ending picks up and there's ample opportunity for shots of falling rubble and a hilarious moment where Arnie holds up a pillar using just his back - he's that strong. Sadly the rest of this is a clichéd mess, to be viewed only by fans of the sword and sorcery flicks which were so popular back in the early '80s.

Gedren seeks total power, so she attacks and kills the keepers of a powerful talisman just before it is destroyed. Gedren then uses the power of the talisman in her raid of Hablac. Red Sonja, sister of the keeper, sets out with her magic sword to overthrow Gedren. The talisman's master Kalidor follows to protect her. He falls for her, but Sonja's power bases on the oath to never give herself to any man...It's not a good film, the makers are just cashing in on Schwarzenegger's success with his first few movies, that is why he is first billed and is so predominant on the one sheet.The film basically consists of Sonja and her group, stalking Schwarzenegger, a little prince who is smug, and his servant, walking from one scene to the next, occasionally having a sword fight.The villains spend the majority of the film in a candle lit room, staring at an orb, until the final battle.Oh, and there is a bit with a metal snake fish.It's boring, mundane stuff, but it has wonderful scenery, and an excellent score by Morricone.This is one of those films where you'd rather stare at the one sheet because it's more entertaining.Not very good at all.

The 1980s saw the rise of the Sword & Sorcery genre. Despite notable mainstream success stories like Conan the Barbarian, most films in this genre were B-grade, and unashamedly so. However, for many of these films, the term "so bad it's good" applied. Cheap, weak plot, weaker acting, but somehow they were entertaining. Red Sonja is not one of those.Red Sonja is clearly an attempt to cash in on the success of Conan the Barbarian, and it fails miserably. Conan had a decent story, good action scenes and even some character depth. Red Sonja is more a B- grade movie with A-grade pretensions. Has the weak story and woeful acting of B-grade with seriousness of A-grade. The worst of both worlds.Really nothing going for it. As mentioned, weak plot, what little there is. Action scenes are standard, and sometimes quite farcical. Performances are laughable. Brigitte Nielsen is particularly bad (though looks good ...). Arnold Schwarzenegger is there for his star power, not his acting ability. Supporting cast are irritating, especially the kid.