Undescribable Perfection

Truly Dreadful Film

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

I know alot of people weren't big fans of this movie, but I think it was really good to me. I thought Billy Zane did an excellent job as Kit Walker/The Phantom and I thought his suit was good for the movie; just like the old stories and comic books of the Phantom. He was the first real comic book hero ever before Superman and even before Batman, too. I think the film did everything right; the hero, the bad guy, saving the world, and getting the girl at the end. I'm a big comic book fan and if you are too; you should watch this one.

Over four hundred years ago, a boy escapes from pirates called the Sengh Brotherhood. He's washed ashore and rescued by tribesmen. The Shaman gives him a ring to fight piracy, greed, and cruelty in all their forms. The title of the Phantom is passed on from father to son creating the legend of one continuous immortal hero. Now it's 1934. Quill (James Remar) is in the jungle looking for one of the Skulls of Touganda. His boss businessman Xander Drax (Treat Williams) wants all three skulls which combine to generate dark powers. Quill has kidnapped a local boy to guide him. Kit Walker (Billy Zane) is the latest Phantom who comes to the rescue with his white horse Hero and wolf companion Devil. Diana Palmer (Kristy Swanson) is his college ex-girlfriend. Her uncle Dave owns the World Tribune newspaper in New York and is a constant opponent of Drax. He sends Diana to the jungle to investigate Drax's connection but she's kidnapped by Drax's pirate "friend" Sala (Catherine Zeta-Jones) with her female crew.The origins of this hero is a 30s newspaper comic strip. The Phantom is a guy in purple tights with no actual superpowers. This movie has an action adventure feel of an old time serial for pre-teen boys. This is a comic book movie before the genre got dark and 'real'. This is shiny and cheesy. There is some overacting especially Treat Williams as the villain. There is also some good comic-booky action. People like to complain about its cheesy old-fashion style but that's kinda the point of this movie. It's not real. It's not dark. It's a weekend matinée double-bill to stuff the kids into for the afternoon.

The Purple Phantom was so progressive, it not only stole from previous Indiana Jones adventures, but from the latest Indy film 12 years into its future.I'll give the cast and crew kudos for trying, but this kiddie version of Indiana Jones and the Jungle Book was very much a chore to get through. I saw it when it first came out, twenty years ago, and thought it a throw-away. If anything, it has held up over the years…to that same opinion.Basically, Barney the Purple Zorro is trying to stop magical skulls from reuniting and giving the villain a toddler's equivalent of an evil madman's reign over the world. Meanwhile, there's a girl or two involved.I know this was based on a comic strip, but I kept trying to figure out what the heck Eggplant Man's super power is. Well, he can communicate with animals. There's that. Oh, and he fools many people who think he's a ghost because he's in a long line of descendant Phantoms. Um, um, he can talk to ghosts?Seriously, the funniest thing is: even the damsel in distress points out how useless he is. Fine, Grinning Grimace can shoot and somewhat fight, but mostly his real super power is making everyone around him NOT laugh out loud at his silly costume and stance. I guess there might be fans of the source material, but for the other 99.9998% of the population, it's not really recommended. Poor Billy…he really did look like he was doing all he could…to keep a straight face.***Final thoughts: Man, I couldn't wait for this to be over. No offense to the people that made this, again, it didn't seem like anyone wanted to make a bad film. Only, I could've lived the rest of my life without seeing this as many times as decades have passed. Unfortunately, one of my favorite podcasts, How Did This Get Made?, covered this. So, I like to refresh my mind on movies they poke fun at, so it's fun for me to laugh along with them.

If you cross Indiana Jones with Tarzan and mix in some 'Goonies' type pirate tomfoolery then you pretty much have this fun cheesy boys own adventure. Actually if I think about it some more you could also throw in some camp Batman and Robin from the classic 60's series in certain sequences, it does get a little bit too hammy in places I must say hehe.Like Batman the Phantom has no super powers, he merely relies on his strength, intelligence and the fact people think he's an immortal ghost...oh and he lives in a cave. So basically he is Batman but with less cash to have hi-tech...and minus Robin for a couple of wild animals he trained.Of course it is suppose to be almost a pantomime type flick with lots of silly lines and caddish villains, but it is a touch too childish for me in places, where as other pulp comicbook character adaptations like 'The Shadow' are a bit more serious. The Phantom's world is a pretty looking universe I must say, the jungle lair, 30's New York and the museum set where one of the skulls is kept, are all really well created. They have that lovely thick structured wooden stylish design with that nice dark noirish colour range (much like 'The Shadow').The story of this character is just as cheesy as his attire. A boy (400 years in the past) witnesses the murder of his father by some pirates who attack their ship. The boy is washed ashore and gets looked after by some tribes folk. They give him the Skull Ring for some reason and because of this he decides to dedicate his life to stopping naughty people...by becoming the masked avenger The Phantom. This role is passed down from father to son over generations (along with the Skull Ring) and leads to the rumour that the Phantom is an immortal crime fighter (everyone thinks all these Phantoms over the hundreds of years are the same one person). So its all a bit Batman-ish really (but Batman came first!), the rest of the plot mainly involves the Phantom searching for skulls that have great power of destruction and stopping bad guys from getting their hands on them (in the present day of 1938). Simple clichéd stuff really.Effects are dated now of course and the fights do look rather gentle, hell even back when the film was released it wasn't that great effects and stunts wise. I almost expected Kapow! to flash across the screen when Zane punched one of the cookie cutter henchmen baddies. Its a good fun film which kids will enjoy and is set totally within the classic period of the comicbook action genre, old school superheroes. You just have to look at the main villains name...'Xander Drax', could that be anymore ridiculously over the top? Oh and pools of man eating sharks? is this a Bond movie?In all honesty the Phantom isn't really a great character to put on film as he's a bit too dated and soft looking with his natty purple tights and simple black face mask which only covers his eyes. The fact he has a wolf and horse as his loyal sidekicks is also kinda odd really, odd combination wouldn't you think, plus he does look a bit daft on that horse in his purple catsuit. Didn't really think much of the pirates that make up the bad guys either, especially at the end which really turns into Schumacher-esque type affair. I must say I think Treat Williams was miscast as the main villain, I'm sure they could have found someone more caddish looking. But overall its all taken from the original source material (three stories) so that's good I suppose, its just the original stories and ideas are predictably very out of time now.I love how no one recognises 'Kit Walker' when he dons his Phantom black mask, just like Robin its so stupid that no one see right through it...figuratively speaking. Despite the rather familiar plot involving mystical skulls and ancient tribes ('Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'?), the film doesn't beat around the bush and gives you exactly what it says on the tin. A very light-hearted period set superhero flick with lots of charm dames cads and a dashing hero in a tight purple catsuit.6/10