Good story, Not enough for a whole film

As Good As It Gets

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

I never saw this one because it was never released on VHS and DVD in Holland. But after a couple of bad "Howling" sequels I was never really interested in finding it. This week I watched them ALL, starting with the original which is a classic. "Howling II" is so bad it's entertaining. The rest it totally forgettable, Part III is awful with a dull story, no horror and even tried to be funny. Part IV "The Original Nightmare" was supposed to be closest to the books but the cast was below standards and the story was lame. It only scored points on the effects done by Steve Johnson. They're well done, but again, made no sense in the stupid story. Part V was the worst. I thought it couldn't get any worse than that. Part VI was not much better but at least it had Bruce Payne as a fine actor and some of Steve Johnson's effects. Today I watched "Howling: New Moon Rising". Director\Producer\"Actor" Clive Turner also worked on a couple of the previous installments. And I thought Part V was bad: Part VII is certainly a new low: Terrible cast, stupid and dull story, even the camera work and lightning looks extremely cheap. Everyone can make a movie if you look at this. Just go out with your camcorder and shoot something with just anybody in it. They don't have to be actors ! And like the fifth one, no werewolves !! That's like watching a porn without nudity, I mean come one !! This "movie" (doesn't really deserve that name) was aired on TNT channel back-to-back with Part III and we were warned in advance how bad it was gonna be.I actually said through the first half hour. But after 5 minutes you already know this is worse than just bad. Clive Turner: shame on you, this really is beyond terrible. There was never another "Howling" sequel after this. Enough said.

After reading the description of this film I thought it was similar to Howling VI: The Freaks since it's about a hitch hiker rolling into town but sadly it didn't quite have charm of Howling VI: The Freaks.The main problem like many people have said it lacks the Werewolf and I guess that's true. I didn't mind watching it, perhaps because I enjoy watching some movies that are so bad there funny. Clive Turner wrote, produced and directed this film and starred in it. His performance is good like in Howling V.Another interesting thing about this movie is that it tries to have a connection with Howling IV and Howling V with certain characters retuning or names being mentioned.Howling VII: Mystery Woman could of been greater if they had a higher budget that could of gave a greater Werewolf effect. Not a bad film though. 5/10

Why wasn't Dolly Parton in this one? Well, nevermind... This movie really is a triple-B-feature: Bizarre, Bad & Bullcrap! HOWLING VII features no less than 16 country songs, so that might tell you something about the soundtrack. The opening scene shows us three stoogey-looking guys standing next to each other in the desert while looking down. The first one goes "Jesus Christ". The second one "Holy Sh!t". And the third "Mother of God". All this while looking at a bunch of dusty bones, some rags and a wig. I mean, speaking those lines almost had me thinking that they must be looking at the World's Greatest Abomination. But no, it's just a pile of dusty bones! Then this detective comes-up to them and makes a very bad Sherlock Holmes joke. Then the opening credits come on, and believe me folks, it does NOT get any better from here on. More even worse jokes will follow and this all reaches an embarrassing depth-point after approximately 50 minutes in a scene involving a bowl of dirty chili and a lot of farting.Either some scenes of this movie take place in a parallel universe, or this movie has severe continuity problems. There's this one scene, early in the movie, where a priest and a detective are having a conversation in a house. This scene takes place during the night. Then we are treated to some other scenes with other characters that clearly take place during the course of the next day (several days, actually). Then, bam!, cut back to the priest and the detective who are still chatting along in that very same previous night-scene. That's the Magic of Movies for ya! Director/writer/producer/actor/editor (!) of this movie, the Magnificent Clive Turner, somehow made the peculiar decision to cast mainly non-actors. What else can I say, except: "This probably wasn't your smartest move ever, Mr. Turner." Did I mention this movie features an absurd high amount of country music? And here's a highlight concerning that fact: In one scene a bunch of folks are gathered around an open fire at night. One "actor", a rather talented musician or so it seems since he got all the people's attention, has his acoustic guitar ready and says "Okay, I wrote this song about people my age that realize that drug-use is a waste of time." He then starts singing the song, and all of the people join him during the chorus. Here's my favorite line of the lyrics: "And Speed, I wish you never left me, 'cause my house will never be clean again..." (all this accompanied by the loud cheering of some ladies). Now I must hand it to Clive Turner, he clearly did some research on the amphetamine subject matter (or maybe he once was a 'tweeker' himself), because "In the 50's the housewives got a hold of it. Dexedrine, Benzedrine, Methedrine... Now that's a classic speed-freak for you: Skinny and cleaning house."(*) Good stuff, Clive!This brings to my mind something a fellow commentator mentioned in his user-comment. Apparently Clive Turner inserted various metaphors of social-related concepts like individualism and mass-consumption into HOWLING VII. Now this might actually be the case and I won't even try to deny it. But I can only comment on that with the following question: "Why, Clive, why?". You're making a horror movie here, NOT a documentary. It's supposed to be about werewolves, so leave the social comments to Michael Moore (to name only one suitable director). And talking about werewolves: one is being mentioned occasionally throughout the movie, but we have to wait no less than 70 damn minutes to even see a glimpse of it. But HOWLING VII does feature a brief, but awesome, transformation scene near the end. Just wait until you see it! The words "Adobe" and "Photoshop" came to my mind when I saw it.Now, I must add that this movie just might be interesting for the HOWLING-'completists' out there (I refrain from calling them 'fans' because it's kinda hard to imagine that this franchise even has any), for it tries to tie up a new storyline between HOWLING IV: THE ORIGINAL NIGHTMARE and HOWLING V: THE REBIRTH. However, if you ever managed to sit through these two, it is absolutely no guarantee that you'll be able to sit through this seventh installment. Let this count as a warning.So aren't there absolutely any redeeming qualities to this pile of steaming celluloid? Well, I just might appreciate the plot twist near the end, because I didn't guess the identity of the werewolf. But to be honest, that really was because of all that awful country music in it. I just couldn't think straight because of that. I do feel a bit bad about slapping this movie with only one star, but after 6 damn movies not even one remotely decent sequel was ever made to the outstanding original. So yeah, that sort of makes me angry. I just might give it an extra point for the new plot-links with parts IV and V or even for Clive Turner's pathetic attempt at social commentary, but I won't. Because I loathe country music (okay, that's not an argument, but still... I simply hate it and it is NOT appropriate in a horror movie). And yes, I kind of knew this movie was going to suck big time. So why did I watch after all? Well, I'm a sucker for sequels. That's my excuse. Now what was yours again?(*) Quote taken from the opening monologue by Val Kilmer in THE SALTON SEA

Truly awful :) So much so it's good - so maybe it should get a 5? Being a bit of a werewolf movie fan I did the Pokemon thing with The Howling and got the lot - all seven. Not only is this one definitely the worst of the bunch (forget all those Howling II comments!), it's the very worst werewolf movie ever - for SO many reasons! I love it! First off, the opening shots over the credits, the director can't direct, the cameraman can't frame the shots, the cutting room have no idea how to cut - it really does set the tone of the whole movie. The dialogue needs to be heard to be believed, especially the conversation in the bar about various ailments - seriously, you need to stick with this film. NOBODY can act, the script is awful, the characters are either characterLESS, wooden, or if you're feeling generous, quirky to a man / woman - check out the old bar owners. It gets better...the whole thing is set to a surreal Country and Western soundtrack, with plenty of line-dancing, yes, line dancing. The pace is pedestrian throughout, there's no tension, the plot simply isn't a plot. They use this 'wolf's eye filter thing' for kill shots (not that there's many of them) and the transformation scene is amazing! Take a photo of a person and another of some monkey creature that looks as much like a werewolf as the creature from the black lagoon, then get the cheapest freeware morph package you can find on 'Google' and you'll get the idea. I swear the background morphs into bits of the werewolf too. I warn you, watching this is an endurance exercise - a test of YOUR character - can you sit through it all WITHOUT fast-forwarding any of it (I couldn't... but then I'm no fan of Country Music). If you love werewolf movies, you MUST watch this - it sets the baseline against which to measure everything else. If you like vampire movies too and have seen Ankle Biters, Howling VII is a similar experience. Oh and did I mention the weird preacher that looks like Abe Lincolyn without his top hat and the sheriff in the white suit and that they flash back to chunks of the Howling IV and V and that the main guy is an Australian with a ponytail (Clive Turner), who is involved in one way or another in, yes you've guessed it, Howling IV and V? Now you'd have thought being an Ozzie he'd have been in in Howling III. Oh yes, this movie is special, sure nuff. Enjoy ;-)