A Disappointing Continuation

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

I generally love horror movies and tend to be biased in grading them, but I'm telling you to skip this one. This movie starts off with two guys in a boat. They see an alligator and we cut to a group of friends and a Debbie Downer, or David Downer in this case. Apparently his best friend, the token black guy, is trying to take him to Mardi Gras to cheer him up. Anyway, the movie continues when he walks away and his best friend follows him. Main guy complains that seeing the women, topless, just remind him of his attractive girlfriend who left him for a jock. I can't imagine why she left you. He drags his friend to a weird horror shop and Candy Man makes an appearance. They leave the shop because he's close and go to another tour guide place, with an Asian tour guide, and see a director and two random girls making an adult film. Didn't main guy just complain about shirtless girls? Now he doesn't care? They meet the tour guide and join the other tourists: an old couple and a random girl. Best friend is enamored with the brunette film star and they spend the ride flirting. Main guy likes random girl, but she tells him to screw off.Tour guide is obviously full of crap, but they decide to go on a tour with him anyway. When they get on the boat they hear a guy shouting at them not to go. The guide ignores him saying that he's just a random guy who drinks his own pee. They speed off, and the movie shows the guy drinking his own pee. It's not funny, it's nasty, and was not needed. They crash into a rock and get off onto nearby land. As they do that, old man gets his foot bitten off by an alligator.Later, best friend and tour guide asks random girl why she even brought a gun on the tour in the first place and she says that she won't answer a con artist. He admits that he's just looking to make money, and explains that he's done a tour before and it went okay. Tour guide asks again and she answers "my dad and brother were killed, so I got on the tour to find them. It's cheaper than getting my own boat." Blonde film star says it doesn't explain the gun, and random girl replies that the woods aren't safe. Old woman reminds them that her husband needs help. Group ponders staying, because they can't move him around too much, but random girl says they can't stay in the woods because these are "his" woods.She then tells them a story about a guy and his deformed son (elephant man). Elephant man got made fun of by local children. He ended up dying because local teenagers were trying to see him, so they threw fireworks inside his house causing it to catch fire. The dad came home to open the door, but it wouldn't budge, so he used a hatchet; he accidentally kills his son and died of a broken house.After the story, everyone is freaking out and wanting to know what to do. Some suggest they stay there and wait for help, but the random girl says that they can't because they're right in front of his haunted house. She says the road is behind the house, and the blonde girl says she doesn't want to go that way. The old couple decide to go that way to look for some help, and they discover a house (Elephant man's house), and Elephant man comes out to get them. The random girl pulls out a gun and waits until Elephant man kills them both before she decides to shoot him. Really? The group freaks out because random girl told them that he was a ghost, and you shouldn't be able to shoot a ghost. In the midst of this, best friend has climbed a tree and says he sees city lights, but they're pretty far away. The brunette asks where the director is, and we (audience) see him running and Elephant man kills him. Answers that question. The group keeps going before best friend sparks an argument with tour guide, and they start fist fighting. Um? I'm pretty sure y'all don't have time to be fist fighting. Group finds the directors bag and find out he's not a director, he's just a sick guy making films for his own amusement. They later find his body and mourn over him for a short time. I'm just going to keep the rest short. They all run around and the Elephant man kills the tour guide and brunette. They plan to set him on fire and he kills the blond. The remaining three run off and the best friend ends up dying. The main guy and girl get on a boat, she gets drug under water and he reaches for her. Dude, you've only known her for less than a day to be risking your life like that. The monster comes back and attacks them, the end. No, it actually ends that way.Everything is just terrible. The plot makes no sense, the person with the best weapon sucks, and the ending was chopped up. The characters are terrible. The old couple are boring background characters that were upgraded in this movie. The best friend is the trope of the token black guy. The tour guide is just a con artist. The rest are just plain bad. The main guy and his love interest manage to be worse than a freaking con artist, and that's pretty bad considering that the movie WANTS us to hate the con artist.

It's been a long while since I witnessed a story that was this unsatisfying, about a dead man who becomes a ghost, which is really a monster, but... etc., etc., blah blah blah. Fortunately, this is a no-brainer horror flick, and the splatter-gore is all alright, the mutant killer is okay, the jokes are well represented and in the end, the background story doesn't matter all that much.The acting is, considering once again this a no-brainer horror flick, more than decent, with a few familiar faces from some sitcoms. Plus: hooray for boobies. One last observation: that bus ride in the beginning reminded me much of a bit from some old '80s (Steven Spielberg?) horror movie - promising, but it didn't really deliver on thát part.6 out of 10.

Slashers took the world of horror movies by storm in the 1980's. At some points there were new ones coming out on a weekly basis, but by the end of the decade the sub-genre had died off almost entirely and was barely heard from for much of the next decade. In 2006 director Adam Green wanted to bring back the feeling those movies gave fans with his slasher Hatchet.With cameos and parts going to Tony "Candyman" Todd, Kane "Jason" Hodder, and Robert "Freddy" Englund, heavy use of practical effects over computer effects and a villain who looked like an 80's type of killer, Hatchet seemed posed to take a spot alongside the best in the sub-genre. This movie tells the story of a group of people who go on a swamp tour that winds up ending badly. They end up in Victor Crowley's territory and he starts murdering them one by one, just like the classics.Despite all this and being promoted as "old school American horror" Hatchet fails miserably at reaching it's goals and although there are far worse horror films out there there are very few that are as disappointing as this one. The problem is that many elements that made the classic slashers great are absent: there's no atmosphere, tension, creepiness, scariness or memorable soundtrack. Basically what we have is a gore-comedy, it's got the practical effects and villain of an 80's slasher but nothing else. If it resembles anything from the 80's it's more like the slashers near the end of the decade that threw away the horror elements for comedy and over the top characters.And while the comedy works well sometimes, more often than not it doesn't. Instead of making a horror movie with humour dispersed throughout they basically wrapped kills around a comedy. What we're left with are far too many moments where the movie comes to a complete stop just to try and make the audience laugh. This works fine when it's funny but really hurts the film when it's not. Some of the characters, especially the two dumb women, are really annoying unless you love blonde joke type of humour. If you like nudity there are several shots of their breasts but everybody else may find themselves skipping ahead to where something else more interesting happens.The special effects themselves are decent. Their goal was to avoid using CGI and in that regard the film is admirable and mostly succeeds. The practical effects are generally well done although some scenes such as the blood splashing on the trees are a bit overdone, and not really in a good way. Also, the bodies seem to come apart really easily, but it is a slasher film so realism certainly isn't expected. The kills themselves are quite well done, especially the double kill early on, and are quite bloody and gory.Unfortunately Hatchet also has arguably one of the worst endings of any slasher. It doesn't really end, it just cuts off in the middle of the scene where Hatchet II is supposed to pick right up from. Sequel or not it is an absolutely terrible way to end the film.Availability: Hatchet is available on both DVD and Blu-ray as a stand alone R-rated version or unrated director's cut or as a "Slasher 4 pack" with No One Lives, A Horrible Way to Die and The Alphabet Killer. All contain a good amount of bonus features such as a commentary, making of, gag reel, trailer and more.Despite failing to deliver on the "old school American horror" that was promised, Hatchet is still a fairly enjoyable slasher film worth checking out for slasher film fans. Just don't expect it to be as good as the classics, or even quite reach the levels of later films like Scream either.

Nowadays it's kind of rare when you get a straight forward bloody slasher film, such as the Evil Dead remake! Which was ace!The film is basically about a group 20 somethings, who go on a swamp lake tour, run by a wannabe con artist or such, & find themselves stranded in the swamp forest with a deformed vicious killer by the name of Victor Crowley is lurking within the swamp! When he was younger, he got picked on by kids & teens! One night, some trick or treaters start a fire by the door to try & get Victor out the cabin. Unfortunately when his father tries to save him, accidentally whacks a hatchet in his face killing him instantly when he was up against the cabin door! Since then he's been killing anyone venturing in the swamp!The kills in the film were quite good! Bloody & vicious just the way it should be done! Not to mention, very unique in how the kills were executed! 1 out of 5 of the rarest things in bloody slashers today or horrors in general!The characters were also good! Noticed quite a few familiar faces in the Horror World! Tony Todd, from the Final Destination Franchise & Robert Englund from the A Nightmare On Elm Films! Along with other characters I recognise from Horrors films I've seen over the years!The story-line was good! Straight-forward, but not so bad! Wasn't so keen on the ending mind you! Couldn't help but think it was going to be one of those female soul surviver crap! Dose my head in, but I wasn't sure about the ending, it was kind ruined in a way! But it wasn't half as bad as other crappy ass endings to films!The killer himself was well done! Tall, built & very deadly! Overall this film was quite good! Had a slight feeling it would be good!9/10