hyped garbage

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Andy Milligan was a Staten Island-based DIY filmmaker whose product was uniformly Z-grade. His was always the last film shown on a triple bill at one of the seedy grindhouses that once dotted the American landscape. "Guru, the Mad Monk" is typical Milligan fare. Clocking in at barely an hour, it has the slapped-together look of a group of friends attempting cosplay and deciding to film it.It's 1480 and the oddly-named Father Guru (Neil Flanigan), a Catholic monk with two distinct personalities (one gentle, the other violent), oversees the Lost Souls Church on the remote island of Mortavia. This is where the rest of Europe sends its prisoners for execution or punishment--poked-out eyes or severed hands and feet (courtesy of department-store mannequins).Assisting Father Guru is Igor, a surprisingly articulate one-eyed hunchback, and Mother Olga (Jaqueline Webb), the head nun, who also happens to be a vampire. When Olga's not tripping over her lines without asking for retakes, she bares fangs from a Staten Island novelty store.The excrement hits the fan when when young Carl (Paul Lieber), who is in charge of the prisoners, decides to leave Father Guru's employ with his lovely fiancée, Najda (Judith Israel). This sets into motion a series of increasingly violent events that climaxes with Father Guru dead, swinging by his neck from the rope of a church bell.Other noteworthy items:During the opening credit sequence, the film's title is spelled out with alphabet refrigerator magnets.One of the prisoners is clearly dressed in 20th-century corduroy pants.Father Guru's tool kit includes a pair of 20th-century scissors, as well as a modern-day claw hammer.The actors repeatedly slip back into their native New York accents.In one scene, two characters converse while a motorcycle sits not ten feet away.

Father Guru (Neil Flanagan) works at the Lost Souls Church on the island of Mortavia, where prisoners are sent to be tortured or executed. As well as being mad (Guru has heated schizophrenic arguments with himself a la Gollum in The Lord of the Rings), the monk is also thoroughly bad, delighting in the pain and misery of others, selling the prisoners' corpses for medical experiments, and providing human blood to vampire witch Olga (Jaqueline Webb) for use in her potions.When a young woman, Nadja (Judith Israel), is sent to the prison, having been wrongly been found guilty of murdering her infant, head jailer Carl (Paul Lieber), who is in love with the girl, makes a deal with Guru that sees him indebted to the monk for three months.A title screen made from alphabet fridge magnets, numerous anachronistic goofs, performers fumbling their lines but carrying on regardless, woeful gore effects (severed hands and heads courtesy of shop mannequins): Guru, the Mad Monk is par for the course for an Andy Milligan production. Amateurish and inept on almost every level and incredibly boring to boot, it's a real challenge to sit through, even for seasoned fans of z-grade schlock. I rate Guru a pitiful 2/10, the film narrowly avoiding the lowest possible score for featuring a one-eyed hunchback named Igor (so cheesy, it's worth an extra point).

This is a B-film period piece that is much better that it's given credit for. I don't understand harsh criticism against this movie - it's not the greatest film of it's type but it's much better than it's rating and criticism.We have Father Guru - a monk that is, well, mad. He seems to have a split personality and has lost all of his faith. He relies on Olga, a vampire witch, and Igor, a hunchback that resembles Quasimodo, to help him with most all things - especially in exploiting the church and a God he no longer believes in.This costumes and sets are great - it's wonderful. The acting is not all that bad - better than I expected. Directing & cinematography is fine. The story is interesting.Give this one a try if you like vampires, witches, madmen, hunchbacks, monks and medieval themed films.7/10

I know this movie is bad. I know I shouldn't like it. But there's something about it that holds my attention when it plays. Something in its crude simplicity compels me forward to the end. It happens every time I watch it. I don't know what it is.Guru (odd name for an orthodox priest) is a bit hammy but not overly so. Carl delivers his lines in one of the oddest intonations I've heard. He later appeared as Detective Eric Dorsey, a minor character on the Barney Miller show. Olga, who apparently is a vampire (?), can't seem to speak her lines fast enough. Pay attention or you'll miss 'em! Igor is fun to watch, as is the cute girl (Nadja) in the attic who befriends him.Watch for the modern claw hammer, the modern scissors, the steel bars on the windows, and the prisoner wearing corduroy pants!