Sorry, this movie sucks

Good idea lost in the noise

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Over the years, classics have been turned into remakes and never have they work, The Texas Chainsaw Masscare, even though it was a classic, was no doubt going to get one and in 2003, 31 years after its release, it did. The film is a bit different then the original and follows a bit of a different plot, in the first film, the group of kids go down after they hear the main character's grandfather's grave has been vandalized, in this, they are heading for a concert, personally, this storyline was not original but better, considering, I don't know why a group of your friends would go down with you to see your grandfather's grave. The characters in the film are also way more likeable, I'm sorry, but this film I haft to give a lot of credit, the final girl in this film may not have been as good as the original but you still cared for her and did not want her to die, they're were actually some pretty creepy scenes in this film especially the tea lady scene, that scene was always really creepy and really fucked up in a small way, I don't know what it is but this film has to go to "Best horror remake ever" along probably with Halloween, I'm sorry, it's brilliant, and we haft to talk about something, something big...Lee Ermey, Lee Ermey is Oscar worthy in this film, he is actually more better then the original dad even though he was more creepy, this one way waaay more intense, the funny thing is I only watched the original last week and I never really saw the remake before so I thought..it might not be that bad, it was amazing, the ending aswell to this film was very good and really creepy, I mean like the last scene was really creepy. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre may not beat the original but is going on my favourite horror film list. Stay tuned for more remake reviews like Friday The 13th (sigh), Nightmare On Elm Street (sigh), The Omen (sigh).etc and also stayed tuned for my review of Insidious: The Last Key which may be postponed until Sunday, but until then, byeeee! Oh! And please watch this if your looking for an actual good remake!

In most cases, Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes label has made dismal attempts at horror remakes (see their Elm Street and Friday The 13th for cringe cases in point). However, the version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre they did was pretty damn good on my barometer, a brooding, darkly humorous and fiercely frightening piece that reworks the barebones, grainy vibe of Tobe Hooper's original classic into something more dingy and atmospheric. It's the 70's, and rural Texas is as humid and inhospitable as ever, particularly so in Travis County, right in time for a Volkswagen bus full of nimrod partygoers to trundle through and get caught in the snare of the severely disturbed Hewitt clan, spearheaded by big ol' Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski), a mute, disfigured monster with a penchant for taking a chainsaw to people's vitals and wearing their skin over his own, inspired by the less imposing real life killer Ed Gein. Sexy Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour and Mike Vogel plays these ill fated kids, serving mainly as power tool sharpening blocks. I love the slow, eerie buildup of this one, as they begin to realize that the town isn't just sleepy or hidden, it's pretty much dead save for these last straggling residents who are clearly off their head. A huge asset for the film is R. Lee Ermey as the creepy, hostile county Sheriff, who let's just say... isn't really the Sheriff at all. He gets many chances to mean mug, terrorize and intimidate these kids and the old gunnery sergeant has a ball. The rest of the townsfolk are a creepy bunch of hayseed yokels without a brain or conscience between them, and serve as a luring posse to Leatherface. The killings are appropriately gory, and hats off to director Marcus Nispel for a striking opening shot that sees his camera pan through the still smoking head-wound of a poor girl who's just blown her dome off with a giant revolver. Ew. The high praise I'm giving this one does not apply to the follow up prequel called The Beginning, which ditches all mood and pacing for an exercise in abrasive, unforgivable sadism and lazy plotting. Ermey goes full nutso in that one and still is having fun, but not even he can pull it out of the shit. I'd imagine same goes for the host of others that came after, including a new entry that's slated for this year, if memory serves. This one got lucky because it played it's cards right, and earned the position of a remake that does indeed hold a candle.

This remake was excellent! The filmmakers did a fantastic job and didn't give this title a bad name. The cinematography was beautiful for a horror movie. There was a lot of blood and gore, but in a great way! Of course no remake or equal will ever live up to the original, but this remake is fantastic! Don't listen to the party poopers who say this is bad and an embarrassment, they feel like they have to hate it because the original was perfect. I highly recommend this film!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003): Dir: Marcus Nispel / Cast: Jessica Biel, R. Lee Ermey, Eric Balfour, Mike Vogel, David Dorfman: Although not as pitiful as the Psycho remake, this is still a pointless mess at any rate. It regards an event or crime based on fact regarding killer Ed Gein who is portrayed here as Leather-Face who uses the skin of his victims to create his own person. One element that both films have in common is effective opening scenes. In the original a van load of hippies pick up a deranged hitchhiker, whereas in the remake they pick up a victim who eventually shoots herself. Teenagers stop off at a farm house where chainsaw wielding Leather-face and the rest of his insane family slice and dice them. Not a bad effort by director Marcus Nispel but he is no Tobe Hooper. Only R. Lee Ermey is interesting as the deranged Sheriff. Jessica Biel runs and screams and survives because she is the star. It might have helped greater had she endured more of the mayhem that Marilyn Burns put up with while being forced to be at a demented family dinner where she was sighted as the main course. Eric Balfour and Mike Vogel die graphic deaths. That seems to be the point of this junk. Presents mindless idiots to be murdered by barn yard tools. The original presented a realistic happening while this remake showcases an encore of nonsense. Score: 3 ½ / 10