Please don't spend money on this.

Let's be realistic.

Just perfect...

Expected more

"Cobra Woman" brought together two of Universal's biggest box office stars of the war years, Maria Montez and Lon Chaney, in a Technicolor extravaganza helmed by director Robert Siodmak, who proves better than his material by going at such a linear, fast paced clip that one simply goes along for the ride. So simple is its structure that it's no wonder that Montez fans consider it her masterpiece, for indeed no matter your disposition, this one is tough to dislike. Chaney fans can only be disappointed however, for after starring in two of his greatest films, "Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man" and "Son of Dracula," he is sadly reduced here to a mute supporting role as Hava, powerful priest/bodyguard for Mary Nash's Queen, hoping that Tollea will save her people from the tyranny of evil twin sister Naja (both played by gorgeous Maria), whose immunity to the poisonous bite of the King Cobra makes her the all powerful ruler. Edgar Barrier's high priest supplies additional villainy, while the expected heroics of Jon Hall and Sabu include much leaping and jumping. It's pretty much Maria's show whenever she's on screen, and for my money her finest moment is the exotic dance performed for the cobra's benefit, exalted fodder for lovers of camp, but also a real showcase for her abilities at undiluted eroticism at its best. For Chaney, it was the only color film among his Universal credits of the decade, and an opportunity to pay tribute to his father in the opening scene, pretending to be a blind beggar while preventing Sabu from discovering his cleverly hidden instrument of death.

A grand example of Hollywood delirium, and a major influence on 60s filmmakers including Jack Smith, Andy Warhol and John Waters. Maria Montez plays twin sisters---one good, one evil---vying to be queen of Cobra Island, a dazzlingly lush tropical location. Actually filmed on location in Laguna Beach. Some think of Montez as the first method actress in the movies, which is to say that she took her roles so seriously that she was known to act as if she had 'become' her character even to the point of appearing off-screen in full costume and expecting to be treated as some sort of exotic royalty. Now that's entertainment!

Cobra Woman (1944) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Universal fantasy in Technicolor has more camp than any film from that era. A bride to be (Maria Montez) is kidnapped and taken away to Cobra Island where her evil twin sister is. Her soon to be husband (Jon Hall) and his servant (Sabu) go after her and run into a cult of snake worshippers and a deaf Lon Chaney, Jr.. This film is mildly entertaining in a campy sort of way. It was directed by Robert Siodmak who also made Son of Dracula and The Killers but this here doesn't have too much going like those films. The Technicolor leads to some beautiful locations and while Montez is kinda hot, she certainly isn't an actress.

"No drug-fevered brain could dream up the horrors of Cobra Island!" But, apparently, two Universal Script-writers could. This immortal camp classic stars the sublime Maria Montez as twin sisters - one Good, one Evil. Considering La Montez could not even play one part convincingly, her dual role is something of a stretch. She may not be able to act, but she does look gorgeous trying.The action takes place on one of those Technicolor South Sea islands where a volcano is always rumbling, gongs are always banging for the next human sacrifice and a supremely irritating chimpanzee is always gambolling about in a pair of Paisley-pattern diapers. Lon Chaney Jr is on hand as a deaf-mute priest. Lucky man, he doesn't have to speak any of that dialogue! As the aged Cobra Queen, Mary Nash looks a tad bewildered. Wasn't it only yesterday she was playing Katharine Hepburn's mother in The Philadelphia Story? Lo, how the mighty are fallen! Sabu beams away in his role as Hollywood's favourite racist/colonial stereotype. Jon Hall spends his time looking for excuses to unbutton his shirt and show off his muscular chest. I for one am not complaining.Still, nothing and nobody can ever upstage our Maria. As the depraved sister Naja, she writhes about wickedly in her Cobra Dance - clad only in a floor-length silver lame evening gown, with matching silver f**k-me shoes. (Uncharted this island may be, but every drag-queen in the world seems to go shopping there.) And lest we in the audience harbour any lingering doubts about her acting skills, she follows up every speech with the deathless words - "I HAVE SPOKEN!"The insipid good sister Tollea really is no match. In this part, Maria does little more than pose beside the nearest pond or palm-tree - gazing into the Technicolor sunset and dreaming of better scripts. (Believe it or not, Jean Cocteau offered her the role of Death in his film Orpheus, but couldn't afford her fee!) Yet it's fascinating to see director Robert Siodmak sketching out the schizo psychology he would explore fully in films like The Spiral Staircase and The Dark Mirror.Appalling as much of it undoubtedly is, Cobra Woman may still be the greatest film of its kind...and if anyone can work out what 'kind' that is, please write and tell me.