Touches You

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Blistering performances.

'What the hell did I just watch????' Those were my closing thoughts after I subjected myself to one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Some movies are bad. Some movies suck. But there's only one movie that's horrible enough to claim the title worst movie ever made: this movie.But just how bad is it? I'm glad you asked. I can sum it up as 93 of the longest minutes of my life. The movie just wouldn't end. I'm sure it didn't help that I was looking at the clock every ten seconds. It might even be a be a benefit in that way. Say you only have 93 minutes to live. Hell, sit through this colossal mess of a film and then seconds will stretch on like years.What the problem that is wasn't funny? Sort of. Was it funny? No. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that there were no jokes. Some movies aren't funny, but at least they make an attempt to be. This movie didn't even try. It's like the producers just slapped together words in a certain order for a 'script' (I use that term very loosely for this movie) and then cast well-respected actors to earn back it's budget.Which brings me to my next point: the actors. Diane Keaton is a previous Oscar-winner who's starred in classic films such as 'The Godfather,' 'The Godfather Part II,' and 'Annie Hall.' Now she's doing this kind of garbage? There must not be much work out there. Same goes for Jeff Daniels. I wouldn't consider him a great actor, but he's been in some solid films over the years. And Eli Wallach? You appeared in one of my favorite films of all time in 'The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.' I guess you don't tread too far away from unfamiliar territory, because this is film is UGLY (for all the wrong reasons.) I'm going on too long about this film. It's already wasted too much of my time. My only hope in writing this review was to scare away potential viewers. To warn them of the dangerous, life-scarring, torturous, agonizing, cruel experience that would await. How anyone could rate this movie about a 3 is beyond me. They either 1) accidentally rated the wrong film 2) worked on the film (though that's not something to be proud of) or 3) are on drugs of some sort (maybe that will somewhat salvage this mess.)If you watch this whole movie, start to finish, you deserve some type of reward, my friend. If you can sit through it twice, my God, you must be inhuman.

Haven't we seen this picture before? You know, the one about two guys competing for the attention of a woman. Well, the premise in this straight-to-video film is a variation on that theme since the object of the affection is none other than mother! Jan Mannus has brought up her son Jeffrey alone after the death of her husband. She has developed a close bond with her geeky son; they are inseparable. Jeffrey, an aspiring astronomer, is a mess. He is a spoiled young man unable to do anything meaningful in his entire life. This classic mama's boy is in for a rude awakening.When Mert Rosenbloom, a motivational speaker, meets Jan, he realizes she is the one for him. Jan feels the same way about Mert. Now the problem is how to get Jeffrey, now 29, find his own space and get on with his life. Jeffrey won't let go of the good thing he has at home. What happens next, is typically of movies such as this. Both Mert and Jeffrey begin outdoing each other in nasty tricks to see who will leave the house first.Tim Hamilton directed this movie, which was written by Hank Nelken. The director doesn't bring anything new to a predictable film that feels false from the start. We have no doubts in our mind there are situations like this one, but what comes out is not even too funny for an excuse to stay with a such a predictable film.Jon Heder has made a career out of playing nerds like this one. He might be an acquired taste for a lot of people, but he keeps repeating himself. Jeff Daniels, a better actor, fares better. What's more, we were impressed by his singing. Diane Keaton has also been seen doing this kind of role before.

Oh my goodness. This was a real big mess that just couldn't help itself. Jeffrey (Jon Heder) is a 29 year old man still living with his mum (Diane Keaton) and not planning on going anywhere. Until his mother meets a rich businessman named Mert (Jeff Daniels) who she may be getting married to.It would have been an OK movie if Heder didn't play his Jeffrey so annoying, from the very start there is no chance of liking him and it only gets worse and worse. In the end, we are supposed to like him, but there was no reason to as he hadn't changed from the selfish brute that he was at the beginning of the movie.Keaton doesn't look to even be trying and is in horrible form after 2007's Because I Said So. Not to mention the shocking chemistry between Heder and Keaton, and where supposed to believe that their mother and son? The only saving grace is Jeff Daniels and Anna Faris although they don't look very interested either. Apart from a few little smiles, this film really doesn't deserve to be called a comedy simply because there is barely anything to laugh at! If your in the mood for a recent Diane Keaton flick watch Mad Money or Smother which are a lot better than this abysmal effort.

Yet another "son who won't grow up" flick, and just the other recent like entries. Heder in another bad wig, channeling Napoleon for, what, the third time? Anna Faris is forgettable, as always; Jeff Daniels phoned this one in from another state, at least; and Diane Keaton...how does one become typecast this late in a career? Do not bother. Nothing is said here that hasn't been covered many times over. I will say this; it's about a hundred times better than "Failure To Launch". There are very few amusing bits in the movie, unless you think Eli Wallach cursing is funny. Ha, Ha! He's old and he dropped the f-bomb! Tee, hee, hee. Pitiful!