Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Did you people see the same film I saw?

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

One of those movies that's so bad it's absolutely hilarious. I don't understand all these negative reviews. Take things for what they're worth and you'll enjoy this a lot more. Fantastic movie that i've watched multiple times. I mean midget vampires? Was anyone really expecting a high budget thriller? For what it was intended, it produced.

God, this was so bad. Its only redeeming quality is that it's so bad you feel like you have at least reached rock bottom, and they say that's the first step towards recovery.It's a movie about redneck midget vampires. However bad you think it is, believe me, it's worse. As an aspiring filmmaker, this movie gives me hope. If this festering turd of a movie can get made and distributed than how good do my ongoing projects really need to be. Unlike Showgirls, which was really bad in a flashy, big-budget kind of way, this movie just plodded along dismally frame by frame as it subjected viewers to the horror, oh the horror.

I felt I owed it to the site to review the worst movie I have in my collection. I first watched it many months ago, and felt I needed to watch it again in order to do it justice. Now, you may have gathered by now that I actually like bad movies. It's not just a curiosity, I actually enjoy sitting and giggling away at the ineptness of them. So why is it that it took me two days to psyche myself up to watch it, and even as I placed it into the DVD player I was repeating to myself ... "it's only a movie, it's only a movie, it's only a movie"? The most obvious thing that hits you when you see this movie is the concept. Midget vampires. Surely this is a surefire winner, for a small Indy flick such as this? A bit of gore, a touch of comedy, plenty to work with to create a piece of entertaining trash. How did it go so horribly wrong? This is a movie that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It is inept on so many levels, that you will start to see levels you didn't even know existed in a movie. Even the title itself is pretty inaccurate. Yes, the midgets do go for your ankles, but they also equally will go for any part of the body except your neck. Generic body part biters would be more accurate. Less catchy perhaps, but more accurate. But answer this. If you were a midget vampire, surely the best place to bite a regular sized human would be around the waist area? It would save you from having to crawl around on the floor so much. After all, you're a midget, not an idiot. Besides there would be more blood there than your ankles.So the main character, is a puny, white version of Blade. He's a half-breed vampire, a descendant of the last tall vampire (who shagged his granny). And so he has decided, for some reason to be a good guy, and kill midget vampires. He has great quips, and lines, such as "Hey.. shorty" or "Hey ... short-stuff". Occasionally he will take off his glasses to show you he is wearing those silly contact lenses that make your eyes look like cats eyes. Then there is his annoying sidekick. Something I have learnt from this movie is that if a midget is human, it is necessary for him to be a smart arse. however it's possibly worth it just for the scene where T-bone picks up Blade and spins him about. Possibly the only comedic moment in the entire film. As for the rest of the characters, you will come to the end of the movie not even knowing their names, even if you cared, because the sound quality of this film is so bad that you could do better with a home camcorder . I was having to fight with the volume consistently as it shifted between people talking close up, people talking far away and the sound effects that were obviously added in afterwards. To add to this, there is an overlay of music that is a cross between rap, Heavy Metal, Techno and country. Four extremes of music mashed together to make one horrific soundtrack.The movie tries it's best to dispel any common myths about vampires, (although no mention of why they live in redneck country). If you try to stab a vampire with a wooden steak, they will "take it out and shove it up your ass". They have sensitive eyes, but don't explode in sunlight, don't hate garlic, have reflections and "if you ask me if I can turn into a bat, I'll knock your ass across the room". glad we cleared that one up. I was starting to get worried for a second. Yet at the same time brings a whole new myth that makes no sense whatsoever. Apparently the only way to kill a vampire is to inject it with vampire blood. unless, that is, your 're a half breed vampire, in which case it makes you stronger, and makes your ears morph and go pointier. Much better than the turning into a bat thing.Moving onto the action, if you can call it that. How has the director managed to make a pub fight, with loads of fighters boring? It should be easy, punches flying, people flying, glass smashing, no problem. Yet this is the slowest, most badly organised punch up I have ever seen. The punches are obviously missing, the throws are obviously being assisted by the victims jumping, and everyone seems to stop after each attack, trying to work out who's turn it is next. The average amount of punching it takes to beat up someone else is one punch per person. Other 'action' sequences don't get much better, with the same, unique ineptness showing through at every angle.In reviewing 'ankle biters' I feel I have barely scraped the surface of it's badness. I haven't even mentioned the vampires squeaky 'Gremlin' laugh, or the midget Bill Cosby. Then there's the fact that tall vampires can't talk, but like to kill people with broomsticks for fun, not food. Or the monotonous tone in which every line is mis-delivered with a two to three second gap between each one, filled out with awkward staring. And also the fact that a lap dance is always out of the question.In Conclusion I think I can conclusively say that this movie is a lot more painful that 'Manos the hands of Fate'. This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Please don't make me watch it again, please, please!

I would love to say this was the worst movie I've ever seen but I love 'Worst movie' movies, this is just rubbish. There should have been plenty of scope for something good to come out of a dwarf Southern vampire biker flick even if it was only made for $500... but there really isn't anything redeeming about the film. I can only imagine the $500 was due to the 'Sword' containing the blood of the last tall vampire (or whatever they were on about in that Southern dwarf droll). Not that the sword cost $500, but the guy must have lost $500 out of his back pocket on the way back from the toy shop where he bought the 'Sword'.... either that or the particularly gay looking African American Dwarf Biker Homie vampire borrowed the cash to go and get himself a slightly more hetro looking Dwarf Biker vampire outfit to replace his white vest and pants! The film is just dull from start to finish, boring, poorly shot, immensely poor acting, script..erm..was there one? If you live in the town that gave up a weekend to film this rot then it might be fun to see but then you'd probably already be a member of the HMD trike and Rod Riders of Belton and have seen the premiere during a club meet! OK so I wouldn't normally insult a biker gang but really... they couldn't even be bothered to turn up wearing a 25c pair of plastic fangs each.. and if that's them looking menacing then I'll worry more about the local church coming round for donations!To sum it up this isn't the worst film ever made as candidates for that have some kudos by being so rubbish. This will just make you tired, I've given it three to try and keep the thing out of site of true bottom of the pile hunters!