Sorry, this movie sucks

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

The tone of this movie is interesting -- the stakes are both dramatic and high, but it's balanced with a lot of fun, tongue and cheek dialogue.

Great movie. Not sure what people expected but I found it highly entertaining.

It appears Asylum is into the mega/super shark movie business, apparently having invested in a prop or graphic that still hasn't paid for itself. What is the size of this thing? Initially (see front cover) this thing attacks and swallows two skiers whole. Then the next thing you know a far smaller version has a hold of a guy's leg while he attempts to punch it in its nose. In one scene it has a hold of an underwater diver's leg then in the next frame the diver is swimming away with no visible damage to the leg. And how does something this big do shallow water attacks?Once we get past the typical Asylum bad production stuff, we have a decent "B-" grade shark movie. The sound track was fairly decent. I like the metal to give the film a grindhouse feel. A crew of hard body college students get stranded on what could be "Gilligan's Island" in the South Pacific, one that had former residents. They talk about shark feeding frenzies and cannibals. Girls in bikinis and guys with developed pecks. The island shows signs of fairly recent habitation and is manicured. There are boats that need repair at a dock. Once fixed they can be used for rescue or for boat races to litter the sea with shark food. To add to their woes, the tropical paradise is subject to tremors. The shark special effects ranged from laughable (head on 2 headed shark swimming) to pretty decent (stock footage of a real shark). Ample cleavage shots of Kate (Brooke Hogan) throughout the entire film (Hulk's daughter who also can't act).Island tremor special effects consisted of rumbling noises, camera shaking, and people falling down. The funny part was the scenes of people being eaten. The second head added the needed camp cheese for the film that was missing in "Super Shark".F-bomb, girls kissing/groping, nudity (Anna Jackson, Amber English)

A polar opposite of say, MOBY DICK! This shark flick would have to make one hell of a flying leap to reach B movie status. Professor Babish(Charlie O'Connell)and a ship full of his students on a boat called "Semester At Sea" are attacked by a two-headed shark and get stranded on an atoll. The group featuring "well bodied" females and useful as chum male students fear the atoll is sinking. That's because a tsunami is sweeping them back into neck-deep waters and the fear of being shark bait looms larger. The CGI two-headed killing machine will begin running up a body count. The acting is so bad, it is not even funny. And the dialogue is punctuated with scenes of bouncing boobs. (Not complaining.) The violence lacks in shock value. The best thing about this blood bath is watching Carmen Electra and Hulk Hogan's winsome daughter Brooke. It is hard to believe that O'Connell collected a paycheck for his miserable role. Other players include: Christina Bach, David Gallegos, Geoff Ward, Lauren Vera and Gerald Webb.

Don't get me wrong, I like watching terrible movies. Just a couple of weeks ago I subjected myself to "Sharktopus," which was quite terrible but mildly entertaining throughout. I wish I could say the same about this pile of crap that some call a "movie." No amount of boobs or ridiculously long scenes of Carmen Electra sunbathing could save this movie from the depths of hell in which it rightfully rests. I have never really felt that watching any movie has been a waste of time. This movie changed my opinions and made me want the 80 or so minutes I spent watching this back so I could do something remotely good for humanity, like destroying every copy of this movie ever made to save the children from having to live in a world where this terrible movie exists. Excusing the flimsy plot held up by Carmen Electra's sex appeal which can only be exploited so many times before we begin to see through it, there are so many things wrong with this movie that I personally believe that those responsible for making it should be shot. Why in the hell is there a concrete bridge on some remote island in the Pacific? If I tried to list everything in this movie that was wrong, I would have to drop out of school and make this a full-time job. Don't watch this movie. Even if you like movies like "Troll 2," you will find yourself wishing you had never heard of this monstrosity. Like the two-headed shark, this movie should be blown up by a gas tank that somehow explodes with a wet t-shirt ignited underwater.

While the opening credits roll, we are given a taste of the story as water boarders are consumed in a big "2-Headed Shark Attack". This mean monster has more than twice the appetite of your average shark. Our victims are college students out boating for a "semester at sea." They show of their tanned chests and ability to read lines with, apparently, little rehearsal time. "What's my motivation?" translates, "Take off your shirt, scream and get eaten by the two-headed shark, stupid!" The professor on this fateful voyage is Charlie O'Connell (as Franklin Babish). His companion is the deliciously proportioned Carmen Electra (as Anne)...The main purpose for this idiotic story is to showcase sexually attractive college students being attacked by a shark. Producers get this job done. This is an otherwise barely competent movie. The cast is attractive but do not show many acting skills. Top-billed Carmen Electra is given little to say, for which she should be thankful. The lead is Brooke Hogan, daughter of "wrestler" Hulk Hogan. She's afraid of water. The leading man is brainy David Gallegos (as Paul) and muscular Geoff Ward (as Cole) serves as a secondary villain. The shark attacks are so poorly done you have to hope producers install sobriety checkpoints at the "Asylum" studio.** 2-Headed Shark Attack (1/17/12) Christopher Ray ~ Brooke Hogan, Charlie O'Connell, Carmen Electra, David Gallegos