Truly Dreadful Film

Bad Acting and worse Bad Screenplay

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

This short was a few years before my time but I did have the misfortune to see it only once, and that was in about 1998 on CITV. Basically, it's a Cartoon Drug Prevention Scheme starring the most famous Cartoon Stars of the day including ALF, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Muppet Babies, Garfield, TMNT, etc. For a kid growing up at this time it would have seemed like a Miracle, all these stars coming together in one place seemed almost biblical. So with pretty much every kid with a TV set waiting for this amazing spectacle to appear, first thing we get is George Bush Senior and the First Lady, and by no means in Cartoon form either. I'm sure for a kid they'd either consider it a damning blow to their confidence or a preceding advert featuring George Bush giving a lecture on the American home. It's not the best way to start a cartoon special featuring all your favourite cartoon characters and after the first 5 seconds, most children would have switched off completely to all he had to say, so basically it was a waste of the Presidents time.But after he's done with his speech, the cartoon starts and everyone is on the edge of their seats waiting to see what adventures were in store for them and their Cartoon Characters. Marijuana...Yes, for a child uninitiated in the indecencies of the adult world, this seems pretty unbelievable, their favourite Cartoon characters who'd they'd be expecting to be flying off on some mystical adventure over the rainbow are going to spend the next 25 minutes lecturing them on drug abuse, and that's what this whole Cartoon is all about, each individual Cartoon Star coming up to this kid with drug problems and telling him that he's going to be a walking corpse soon enough. They even have an Alan Menken song just to rub it in. At this point, most kids would probably be searching their house for their father's draw of Nostalgic firearms so they can either shoot the TV or shoot themselves. But thankfully I didn't get to that part because I lost all interest after about 10 minutes.Basically, this Cartoon is flawed to begin with. It is trying to give a life lesson in such a way that no child would be interested. A more subtle lesson would be much better, like the one given in Ozzy and Drix about smoking and other abuse to your body. You could say that its like an Animated Xanadu, all your favourite things coming together in one place but for a pointless reason. Also, the whole lesson is flawed from the start as it basically says that if you smoke marijuana all your cartoon characters will appear. I think I'll test this theory by going out, getting a joint from my local dealer, smoking it, coming back and I expect Alvin and the Chipmunks to be sitting on my bed so I can shake their hand and break out a musical guitar number with them. If they're not there when I get back, I'll be demanding a refund pronto...

This TV special was actually shown at my elementary school (I can't remember if I saw it on TV). Taking the most popular cartoon characters of the day (Bugs Bunny, Garfield, a Ninja Turtle, etc.), as merchandise that come to life to save a boy from drug addiction, Cartoon All-Stars acts as a public service announcement warning kids to stay away from marijuana and other illegal drugs.It's a novelty to see all these characters in one cartoon (copyrights usually prevent that), and the underlying purpose is noble, but the end result isn't impressive at all. The laugh count stands at zero (maybe kids would like it more), and the musical number is a bust. As a story it lacks consistency and logic (the character made out of smoke can go through a brick wall, yet is trapped in a garbage can). More to the point, as a public service announcement, it's a failure. The cartoon is too heavy-handed; the kid seeing himself in green (looking into a magic mirror and then a crystal ball), seems over the top and dishonest. More importantly, did it work? Did this special actually stop kids from trying drugs? As I mentioned, my class and I saw this in school; I never did any illegal drugs, but plenty of others did. At most, after watching this a child may take the message for a little while, but by the time he or she gets to high school they've outgrown Winnie the Pooh and will likely experiment with marijuana anyway.So what do we have at the end of the day? Cartoon All-Stars turns out to be a historical oddity, a place to go for unintentional comedy and surreal material. It also glorifies consumption of corporate merchandise- the Garfield lamp and the Kermit clock, both likely made in Asian sweat shops, will save the day. But that's a different issue. Show this to your kids if you feel you must, but don't expect any results.

Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue has to be one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen. It's an anti-drug video from the early 90s, where a bunch of media companies (Disney, Warner Bros, etc) teamed up to produce a cartoon special to tell kids that drugs are bad.However, it soon becomes obvious that the kid's sister is pretty whacked out on drugs as well, despite her trying to persuade him to drop the drugs habit...The kid, Michael, is smoking marijuana, and steals money from his sister, Corey, in order to get money for drugs. At that point, something truly weird happens and the cartoon characters dotted around Corey's bedroom come to life, and end up trying to "wake her up". Pooh Bear then talks to her (which couldn't happen... unless you're tripping...), and tells her to go and see her parents about his drug problem (but not about her problems, which are obvious because she's hallucinating a bear talking to her).Michael goes to his "friends" who are smoking weed, and they take his wallet to buy crack. Then... then he appears to embark on a psychedelic journey where various cartoon characters talk to him, complete with glowing colours, and Michaelangelo the Ninja Turtle who appears to endorse drugs by calling him "cool". All along the way there's this character called "Smoke" which I guess is meant to represent his addiction to drugs. The other characters try to fight him off, and finally Michael manages to get rid of him when his sister tries to take drugs (although given she's seeing Smoke and Pooh Bear talking to her, she's riding the acid train already...). They then go and talk to his mom and dad about his problem. I guess they'd better get the sister to 'fess up too judging by what she was seeing. In fact, these people are pretty bad if they're letting both their kids get this messed up.It basically is a piece of corporate propaganda - stern moralising via out-of-touch "cool" methods, in the way that dominated the 90s (see Don't Copy That Floppy...). In that respect it failed - drug use has indeed become a fact of life, seen in video games, films and TV shows, and being portrayed in a much more realistic way than the horror stories shown in this. Indeed, I would say that it would push kids in the opposite way - the message here is that if you take these drugs, your favourite cartoon characters will pop up out of boxes and magazines to see you and tell you about drugs! It's worth watching for the sheer hilarity of seeing squeaky clean cartoon characters express familiarity with drugs. It's hilarious for the fact that drugs apparently make you look like the Plastic Prince of Pop. And it's also hilarious just that anyone in a boardroom might think that anyone, child or adult, would take this seriously.

I remember seeing this when I was 9-years-old and it blowing my mind- the fact that Alf AND the Muppet Babies AND Slimer would all be hanging out together was a truly amazing event in my life- perhaps THE most important moment of my developmental years. However, I just recently realized that the show had an anti-drug message! It's subtle, I know, but it's there. My theory now is that all the "Cartoon All Stars" involved were just fulfilling their community service. Remember that time Theodore from "Alvin & The Chipmunks" got loaded and drove that school bus into a sidewalk full of people? Or when Brainy Smurf was indicted for his part in the magic mushrooms ring? Or when Tigger was caught BUI (Bouncing Under the Influence)? This was the result of their collective animated illegalities.Anyway, my main question is: "How come I liked this so much as a kid but became a marijuana addict in college?"