if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Violent Shit: The Movie (2015) * 1/2 (out of 4)Rome is under attack as a series of brutal murders are leaving body parts everywhere. A couple detectives are investigating and before long they are wondering if Karl the Butcher is behind the attacks.The original VIOLENT SH*T series from Andreas Schnaas was certainly an aquired taste. While I wouldn't call the movies good they were at least from an era of German shot-on-video films that became quite popular around the globe thanks to their gore level. VIOLENT SH*T: THE MOVIE comes from Italy and it really does seem as if they were wanting to bring the country back into the mix of horror films. After all, it has been quite a while since the likes of Argento and Fulci were top dogs.Sadly, this film has some really major flaws that keep it from being more entertaining and that's really too bad because the final twenty-minutes of this movie are great. The final has a sex orgy, cannibals and of course Karl the Butcher doing his thing. The finale is when the film really takes off and it also delivers what fans were wanting. That was a bunch of gory violence with over-the-top blood. I must say that it's really too bad that the first hour was so deadly dull because had the entire film been like the final twenty-minutes then we'd have a cult classic on our hands.Sadly the first hour is full of boring dilaogue and scenes that just drag out to the point where you'll be wanting to scream cut at your television set. These scenes really drag down the movie and the pacing is all over the place. Several Italian heavyweights appear throughout the film with Giovanni Lombardo Radice doing good work as a Professor. You've also got the likes of Enzo G. Castellari and Luigi Cozzi in small roles. Seeing these three was fun and the final twenty-minutes are great. Can I give a mild recommendation for a bad film?

With VS: The Movie, director Luigi Pastore has done the seemingly impossible: he's made a film that makes Andreas Schnaas' Violent Sh*t Trilogy look good by comparison. Although Schnaas' films were excruciatingly bad in many ways, they at least compensated with loads of enthusiastic bargain basement gore; in contrast—barring one 3 minute sequence where serial killer Karl the Butcher goes crazy with a machete—VS: The Movie is relatively devoid of splatter, and with a terrible plot and painful performances, the film proves very difficult to endure.Somehow (gun to the head, perhaps?), Pastore not only managed to cast Italian horror legend Giovanni Lombardo Radice in his crap-heap of a movie, but also convinced cult film-makers Enzo G. Castellari (The Inglorious Bastards) and Luigi Cozzi (Alien Contamination) to take on roles, AND got Claudio Simonetti's Goblin to provide the soundtrack. None of this counts for much, though: Radice is terrible, Castellari and Cozzi usually work BEHIND the camera for a reason, and Simonetti's score is forgettable.With much of the film consisting of lengthy scenes of dialogue in English, mangled by a cast whose command of the language is only slightly better than my Italian (I can order a beer and ask where the toilets are), only hardened fans of z-grade crap will make it to the end, where they will be rewarded with some gratuitous female nudity (not worth the wait) and the aforementioned kill spree by Karl, which finally serves up the kind of gore that the film should have delivered throughout.2/10, solely for the nasty castration, minus 1 point for naming characters after famous people in the horror industry (Fulci, D'Amato), an idea that is neither original nor clever.

Why anyone would make a sequel or remake of one of the worst movies ever made (Violent S**t), done by probably the most untalented director EVER (Andreas Schnaas makes Ed Wood look like an Oskar winner...) is beyond my understanding.Acting, dialogs, sound, editing, synchro, even the special effects, it is all so bad the 1:20 hours feel like an eternity. The two famous Italian directors must have been forced at gunpoint to do a cameo in this steaming pile of s**t. The only thing noticeable it the music, done by Goblin.This sorry excuse for a movie is bad, really bad, and I do not mean bad in a funny or entertaining way.There are so many little movies worth of a remake, so many film gems that would deserve a sequel. Why this one????

*note: since IMDb marks the word in the title as prohibited, this particular word is replaced with "beep" in the review...In case you've never heard of Andreas Schnaas, you're most likely a smart person and probably also have very good taste in cinema! Schnaas is an extremely untalented and lousy German trash-director who made a dozen of low-budget horror movies in a span of more than twenty years, and yet newest movies are still just as worthless as the oldest ones. By all written and unwritten rules of cinema, that pretty much means that Mr. Schnaas doesn't develop. His most (undeservedly) infamous work is an unendurably amateurish gore trilogy with the 200% accurate titles "Violent Beep" parts I, II and III. These poor excuses for motion pictures basically just feature a lot of sickening gore that is poorly accomplished, overlong and incredibly stupid dialogs, miserable acting performances from people that are probably just Schnaas' friends and painfully uninspired camera-work + editing. I struggled myself through part II, couldn't bring myself to finish parts I and III, and I promised myself I would never even attempt to watch another sequel if there ever came one. Yet here I am reviewing a sequel (or remake or whatever they want to call it), but – in my own defense – I had a handful of good reasons to check it out. "Violent Beep: the Movie" is primarily an Italian production and, being a big fan of the Italian horror industry, I was triggered by all the legendary (by cult standards, at least) names that are linked to this production! For instance, the actor receiving top billing is none other than Giovanni Lombardo Radice, and everybody who has seen the titles "Cannibal Ferox", "City of the Living Dead" or "Cannibal Apocalypse" knows that his presence pretty much guarantees gory death sequences! Furthermore there are guest appearances of the awesome horror directors Enzo G. Castellari ("The Last Jaws", "Inglorious Bastards") and Luigi Cozzi ("Contamination", "The Killer Must Kill Again") and the soundtrack is delivered by the almighty Claudio Simonetti from Goblin! Genuine horror/euro-exploitation fanatics don't need any more arguments to see a film, agreed? And yet, this sadly remains a completely nonsensical piece of pure rubbish that is almost impossible to sit through… Director/co-writer Luigi Pastore comes up with a series of repulsive images, like close up amputations and disembowelment, but there isn't the slightest bit of structure, logic or continuity in the script. What the heck am I writing; there probably wasn't even a script! A maniacal killer, known as Karl the Butcher, roams the streets of Rome 15 years after he was last active in Berlin. German investigator Hans Ebert teams up with his Italian colleague Aristide D'Amato and via a lot of insufferably dumb and tedious conversations, they somehow establish there's a link between Karl the Butcher and the mysteriously eccentric Professor Vassago. Indeed, the latter enjoys resurrecting Karl the Butcher and controlling him like a sock-puppet, but I absolutely don't have a clue how or for what purpose he does so. Just like his "big example" Andreas Schnaas, Luigi Pastore doesn't have any knowledge about how to narrate a story, build up tension or insert character development. The film is a spitfire of badly angled camera viewpoints, horrendous dialogs and pointless padding footage. I probably don't have to add that the players are miserable amateurs and their English language skills are simultaneously laughable and pitiable. Even experienced actors, like Giovanni Lombardo Radice, adapt themselves to the bottom-of-the-barrel standards of this production. He looks somewhat like a retarded version of Max Shreck in "Nosferatu" and shouts a whole lot of things that don't make any sense. Quite a few scenes balance on the edge of being pornographic and the blood & splatter – although plentiful – couldn't upset a small child. Simonetti's music is great, but I refuse to give an extra point for this, as this film deserves a rating 1/10 more than any movie I've ever seen.