Overrated and overhyped

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

This horror movie from 1989 really embodies the entire spirit and feel of the 1980 horror movies. It is hard to put a concrete example on what it is to it that makes it so, but it just is."The Vineyard" is fairly straight forward. A reclusive wine grower, famous for his unique wines, have invited a group of young aspiring actors to his estate for what they believe in to be a party and an audition for a movie. However, the wine maker has something else in store for the young people, as he needs them to brew his special wine; a wine that has kept him young and alive for centuries.The effects in the movie were very 1980s. Just watch the movie, and you will know immediately what I am talking about here. The zombies weren't particularly detailed, but I assume for a movie from back then they were quite good.The storyline is generic and stereotypical for late 1980s horror movies, being predictable to the core. But still, the movie is fun to watch because it is campy and cheesy. And it was fun to watch James Hong in this particular role. Being a fan of Hong Kong cinema, it was also fun to watch Michael Wong in this movie.If you enjoy horror movies from the 1980s, then "The Vineyard" is definitely one to watch. And the ending is guaranteed to have you laughing...

Watch as actor James Hong (who also co-wrote and co-direct) puts on a show! He steals every frame he's in, but this is because the competition is few and far between. When he isn't obsessively going off his rocker and having his face morph about, you're probably transfixed by the presence (not the acting) of playmate bunny Karen Witter. Hong's depraved character definitely is, but the scenes they mostly share are less than interesting other than the daft climatic showdown. Outside of Hong and Karl Heinz-Tuber, the majority of the performances are one-note and vacant. Dr. Elson Po is a world renowned wine grower, but he also has a dark secret with an obsession for the forbidden secrets of immortality. To stop the rapid aging process, Po feeds on the life-force of the young aspiring actresses he invites to his island. "The Vinyard" is low-rent and quite sloppy, despite the amusing unhinged mad doctor / black magic hokum. It has its moments with some ghoulish jolts, sleazy encounters and nasty monster make-up FX (zombies join the party), but it can be patchy and lackadaisical in scenes. Moments can be quite talky (numerous boring exchanges) with the silly script throwing about strange ideas, spiritual themes and linking it with Chinese mythology. At times it can be atmospheric, but its villa and vineyard setting on a secluded island is never taken full advantage of. Even throw in a dungeon with chains. "You're in a lot of danger here."

Famous wealthy winemaker and film producer Dr. Elson Po (a deliciously hammy James Hong) has discovered a special potion and magic amulet which enables him to stay youthful and live forever. He invites seven attractive young folks to his remote island winery so he can feed on their lifeforce. Po chooses lovely aspiring actress Jezebel Fairchild (the ravishingly gorgeous Karen Witter, Playboy's March 1982 Playmate of the Month) to be his bride. Clumsily directed with a startling lack of competence by Hong and William Rice, with an incredibly dumb and trashy script by Hong, Douglas Kondo and James Marlowe which blends exotic black arts mumbo jumbo and hoary mad scientist clichés into a spectacularly ungodly brew, this entertainingly awful atrocity possesses all the right crummy stuff to qualify as a great deal of infectiously schlocky fun: we've got some tasty gratuitous nudity, a smidgen of soft-core sex, dreadful dialogue ("Castrate him!," commands Po to one of his flunkies who's caught a man who had an adulterous fling with Po's unfaithful wife), terrible acting, plenty of hot babes (Cheryl Lawson in particular is a total fox!), a plodding pace, cheesy, rubbery make-up f/x, tacky gore (a juicy decapitation and a scene with Lawson throwing up spiders are the definite gross-out highlights), badly dated thumping 80's rock songs, a bunch of groaning, lurching, rot-faced zombies, ineptly staged fight scenes, and a gloriously ludicrous conclusion. Karl Heinz-Tuber delivers a marvelously smarmy performance as a slimy effeminate talent agent. Both John Dirlam's crisp cinematography and Paul Francis Witt's shivery score are up to speed. An unjustly overlooked high camp riot.

James Hong plays here Dr.Elison Po,a famous winemaker who lives in a tropical island mansion.He is actually centuries old,but keeps his youthful appearance thanks to a jade amulet he stole from his mother(Vivian Lee)as a child.But the amulet is wearing out,and every so often Po ages hundreds of years unless he drinks human blood.To satisfy his needs,he has lots of women chained in his dungeon.One of his employees,a German film producer(Karl Heinz Teuber)brings a group of would-be actors and actresses and the slaughter begins!"The Vineyard" is an enjoyable horror-adventure filled with nudity and violence.There are zombies buried in the vineyard who keep rising from their graves every few minutes,crossbow battles,swordfights etc.I love the scene when a girl starts coughing up spiders while brushing her teeth!Despite rather amateurish acting this film isn't really bad(I've seen worse!)and I would highly recommend it to horror/zombie fans.