A Disappointing Continuation

How wonderful it is to see this fine actress carry a film and carry it so beautifully.

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

Maybe you've always wondered, "what would it be like to cross Big Trouble in Little China with Enter the Dragon, and maybe added zombies?" If you have, then here's your ridiculous varietal.Reprising his role as a mysterious, magical, and ancient Chinese sorcerer, James Hong is a successful, supernatural vintner on a secluded island, with a small army of martial arts henchmen ready for his every evil command. Naturally, his villainy is all about killing hotties to keep him immortal. And for some reason, zombies are essential to his vineyard. Also necessary for the fermentation is a fresh kill in the wine vat. I'm no enologist, but I think there's easier ways to make tastier wines - and more coherent plots for better movies. The "special effects" are the special needs children of film making, largely involving cut- aways to rubber masks. The few martial arts scenes are without any grace or choreography. And while the plot premise could have been promising, its execution is truly disappointing. But, If you like crapulent acting, hilariously awful dialog and cheesy synth soundtracks from the 80s, this movie could be your Chateauneuf du Poo.

There's something about James Hong's manner of speaking that is very entertaining to listen to.Basically this movie has 'some' zombies in it which makes it not a bad zombie flick but its not about the zombies its about some recipe that allows you to live for ever and the nasty things that need to be done to achieve that.The movies acting is serious B grade stuff with an extremely meh plot. Its really one of the better B grade zombie movies out there, I've seen plenty and plenty of trash is what you get. I strongly suggest some viewing enhancers if you intend to watch this movie thru, maybe some bourbon or vodka should do the trick.

The Vineyard starts in Dr. Elson Po's (co-writer & co-director James Hong) laboratory, various pieces of scientific equipment, strangle liquid, beakers & test tubes adorn the tables. A extremely old looking Po drinks a strange magical potion that instantly restores his youth, well to a fairly young 60 years old. When he isn't making magical youth (60 years old?) potions Dr. Elson Po is a world famous wine maker. People are paying up to $50,000 a bottle, which is quite a lot really for a bottle of wine. Dr. Po invites various guests to his reclusive vineyard on his very own private island. A film producer named Paul Edmonds (Karl-Heinz Teuber) who brings two aspiring (& bad) actresses Jezebel Fairchild (Karen Witter) & Nancy Stone (Cheryl Madson), Lucas Carroll (Lars Wangberg) who is a martial arts type, Brian Whitman (Sean P. Donahue) & a journalist named Jeremy Young (Micheal Wong). Dr. Po's other guests are already there, Brad Fuller (Rue Douglas), Claudia Lee (Cheryl Lawson) & Celeste Jones (Sherri Ball). That night Po throws a big party for everyone in his mansion. The party ends up outside in the vineyard where Nancy spots a corpse sticking out of the ground since it appears to have only been buried a few inches down. However no one believes her, except that is Jeremy who is intrigued by Po & becomes convinced something strange is going on. After the party Dr. Po uses his magical powers to kill a few of his guests as he needs human bodies for his potion which will make him young (60 years old?) again. Dr. Po has special plans for Jezebel while the rest try to stay alive, rescue her & escape Dr. Po's island & it's horrifying secrets...Directed by Hong & William Rice I thought The Vineyard was an absolute mess of a horror film. The script by Hong, Douglas Kondo & James Marlowe can't decide what it wants to be, a comedy or horror. Maybe the fact that The Vineyard had two different directors was factor in how the film turned out but that's still no excuse for producing such a lame film. I just don't understand how someone who has the power of eternal youth would turn himself into a 60 year old man. The characters are poor, there is no tension, excitement or atmosphere, the plot is a mess hard to follow & very silly plus the whole film is quite amateurishly made throughout. The acting is bad, the special effects are bad, the fight scenes are bad & the dance sequence is embarrassing even by 80's standards as are the clothes & hairstyles. The zombies are pathetic, they actually throw punches & kicks rather than try & bite people & are defeated by throwing 'sacred soil' over them, lame. There's a witch zombie woman in the attic but she only appears to be there to scream a lot & look old. The plot of The Vineyard is very loose, most of what happens is of little importance towards the final outcome & is only there to waste time, the characters aren't really given any sort of background, they're bland cardboard cutouts, uninteresting, they are all very much alike & very little explanation is given for what Dr. Po is actually doing or how he's doing it. The whole production looks cheap, the effects, the sets, costumes & the ominous sounding sacrificial altar at the end of the film is nothing more than a chair with two candles, one either side! There is a scene where Jeremy is chained up & beaten but during & after this severe beating his over-sized glasses remain perfectly positioned on his face even though the force of the punches violently knocks him all over the place, there are many more examples of scenes like this that are badly thought out & come across as somewhat ridiculous looking. There are exactly two good scenes in The Vineyard, a sequence where spiders start to crawl out of an unfortunate woman's mouth & a scene where a guy has long needles shoot out of his throat, other than that it's badness all the way. Generally there isn't much blood or gore, just a quick decapitated head & that's about it. Overall The Vineyard features kung-fu fighting zombies, magical potions, ancient amulets, a mad Doctor, an ugly witch in the attic, a sacrifice, a dungeon full of chained up half naked women, a transvestite & some extremely bad 80's dancing but it still somehow manages to be terrible in just about every way possible. Credit where it's due though, & believe me The Vineyard doesn't deserve much, at least it's not a boring film & has a certain 'so bad it's good' thing about it, it's just a shame that it's a poorly thought out & executed one. Personally I'd say don't bother with The Vineyard as there are much better horror films out there worthy of your attention.

The movie wasn't great, but it had it's moments. I think James Hong did a good job and found his character quite creepy. Some of the scenes including the spider scene were pretty scary! The fight scenes were quite good, especially when the preppy guy and his girlfriend were working together to defeat Po's big, burly bodyguards.Most of the cast are one hit wonders (if you consider this movie to be a "hit"). They made sure to hire a young, good-looking cast including the gorgeous Karen Witter who played Jezebel. Dr. Po may have been 1000 years old, but his choice of a spouse was right on the money!