If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Absolutely Fantastic

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

The 80's and 90's were great times for action movie fans, few of the titles that came out were any good but there were plenty of them to keep the masses entertained.Dolph Lungren here stars as the first outing for Frankle Castle aka The Punisher but if you're expecting anything to do with the character at all you'll be disappointed.Trademark skull? Origin story? Connections to the marvel universe? Nothing. In fact the movie is so generic it could have just been a standard action flick where they at the last minute decided would be the Punisher.This truly is just yet another paint by number action flick, standard formula, Lungren is wooden as always and the movie has as much to do with the Punisher as creation theory has to do with science.Just no.The Good: Couple of decent characters The Bad: So incredibly genericLungren is terrible Simply not a Punisher film Things I Learnt From This Movie: Being in a house that blows up will not even phase you, in fact you'll have a chance to pose for cameras 5 seconds of origin story is apparently sufficient The actor sidekick should have had been the lead In the Marvel universe they still acknowledge the existence of DC characters

If Marvel Comics - at the time only a feeble, fledgling studio barely breaking into major motion pictures, rather than the infallible box office juggernaut of today - could only have made one live-action feature film in the '80s, they chose wisely with the Punisher. While other major sellers could likely have been permanently laughed out of circulation by the dubious special effects or invariable camp of the decade (let's not look at the gnarlier early '90s Fantastic Four and Captain America adaptations and say we did…), the gritty, gun-crazy Frank Castle was best equipped to ride out the melodrama and mullets of the Miami Vice/Arnold Schwarzenegger era without warping his image irreparably. In fact, fitting like a glove with the excesses and clichés of '80s action cinema is what elevates 1989's The Punisher to the top of the 'terrible early Marvel films' echelon ('the best of the worst' is about as high praise as the film is every likely to get). It's biggest casualty? Feigning to take itself so seriously and distancing itself from the comic to the point of committing the unforgivable sin: leaving out the skull shirt. You had ONE job, guys. If we're being entirely honest, 1989's clunky crack at Castle is about as good a Punisher movie as we've seen to date (sorry Tom Jane and Ray Stevenson) - just more upfront about its glorious cheese. Director Mark Goldblatt is evidently well- versed in the action genre (he's credited as editor on Rambo, Commando, and later Predator 2 and Terminator 2), as he's kind enough to hit every genre cliché with the impeccable fastidiousness of a Simpsons parody, right down to cheerfully hammering exposition with Every. Single. Line ("let me tell you a story…" is the film's favourite device). But the '80s clichés don't stop with the dialogue - we also get some prime bits with grumpy, angsty cops, outspoken kids, old computers(!), and grim monologuing to God, while the film's fuzzy camera-work and droves of Australians trying their g'dang hardest to pass as 'Murricans (and failing) adds to the campy, student film calibre fun. In fact, it's really only in the action sequences where Goldblatt's Punisher rears its head beyond chuckle-worthy silliness. Here we have a smörgåsbord of villains for Castle to blow away in various ways (the mob AND the Yakuza? Excellent!), and a plethora of shootouts and throw-downs that are actually quite entertaining in their gregarious excess, including a climactic blowout in the Yakuza lair making suspenseful and even artistic (gasp!!) use of Japanese Shoji screens concealing upcoming antagonists, even if a follow-up stomp-fight with Jeroen Krabbé is…not as thrilling. Granted, I'm not convinced Goldblatt fully thinks through the moral ramifications of inciting audiences to cheer as Castle saves a bus-load of abducted mobster-children even as he blows away their crime lord fathers within eye's range (the film's climax takes this to the next level, with a Kill Bill-foreshadowing moment that is too downright disturbing not to be effectively bleak amidst the shootout stupidity). But hey - comics! Woo…!All the while, everyone's third favourite '80s action meathead, Dolph Lundgren, clomps through the movie like a stoned Terminator (his stretching rack torture sequence even allows him to showcase his best GNYYAAAAARRRGGHHH Arnold bellows). He certainly looks the part, and his blank dead-behind-the-eyes look would almost be enough to imbue Castle with the correct tortured humanity if he were a capable enough actor to contextualize them in any way, though his '80s one-liners, wholly uncharacteristic as they are, are lots of sassy fun ("Who sent you?" "Batman") - though it's an undeniable shame no one thought to push the envelope enough to unleash a bona fida 'Pun-isher'. Otherwise, Louis Gossett Jr's renowned stilted delivery makes for an excellent vintage existential '80s cop, even as he seals the deal with a violent, almost tender wrestling plea for his ol' buddy Castle to "LET ME IIIIINNNNNN". Feel the love. Feel the testosterone. Former Bond and soon-to-be- Fugitive villain Jeroen Krabbé easily out-acts all of his co-stars with his impressively composed turn as a mob boss striving to eliminate competition in favour of sharing (aww), while Kim Miyori is commandingly icy and terrifying as his Yakuza-helming co- fiend. Finally, Barry Otto as Castle's drunken, homeless, former actor collaborator is an eyebrow-raising but overall pleasant surprise, as hearing him beg Castle to save the children in near-Iambic Pentameter is simply too weird and fun not to love, as out of place as it is. It's no secret that the 1989 Punisher is, at best, a fairly silly relic of the decade showcasing some some decently entertaining action, and liable to play better to fans of disposable '80s bloodbaths than those expecting a faithful comics adaptation. Said fans may have found their appetites for Castle whetted by 2004 and 2008's cracks at the character - otherwise, it's hopefully not too much of a punishment to hold out for Netflix's take on the character in the upcoming season 2 of Daredevil. Suffice to say, dopily fun as it may be, very few are ever likely to lean on Lundgren as the definitive take on the character.-5/10

Dolph Lundgren, either by choice or deficiency, plays Frank Castle (AKA The Punisher) with all the intensity of someone who has a very, very bad hangover. It's one thing for an anti-hero to be laconic, quite another to be almost catatonic. As always, co-star Louis Gossett Jr. gives a performance that suggests that he believes he's in a much better film, here playing Castle's former Partner Jake Berkowitz (I'm guessing the character was named before Mr. Gossett was cast).This first cinematic incarnation of Marvel's 'The Punisher' is moderately diverting when something is being kicked, cut, shot or blown up, but sadly they decided to let people talk as well.

Frank Castle (Dolph Lundgren) is a former cop who lives in the sewers as The Punisher after his wife and kids were murdered. Mob boss Dino Moretti is responsible but is released after the court fails to convict him. The Punisher kills him and his henchmen. Frank's former partner Jake Berkowitz (Louis Gossett Jr.) gets hounded by Sam Leary to be his new partner. She believes that Frank Castle is still alive as The Punisher despite official denial. Gangster Gianni Franco (Jeroen Krabbé) returns to town while Lady Tanaka of the Japanese Yakuza proposes a partnership with his organization weaken by The Punisher.I appreciate the strip down attempt at a hard-nosed comic book movie. They even kick around some kids. However Mark Goldblatt is not a good enough director. The style and look of it is solidly in a lower level. The action isn't that exciting. Lundgren doesn't do much acting-wise. It gets a bit boring without any compelling acting.