A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Like many other reviewers on IMDb, I remember this movie from when I was a kid. My friends and I all thought it was cool, and the biggest reason was probably the mansion. Full of secret passages and trap doors, an old house like that is just one of those things that every kid gravitates to. Like dinosaurs or superheroes, a spooky house is an easy sell for young audiences.Watching it for the first time as an adult, I am convinced that anyone giving the movie a positive review is doing so based only on fond childhood memories. This movie might be the most unfunny thing I have ever watched. Everybody likes Don Knotts, but I got no enjoyment from him calling Tim Conway names for 90 minutes. If lines like "You Dope!" and "Will you shut up?" sound funny to you, then this might be comedy gold. As the movie continued, I just kept thinking, Who would laugh at this? The other defense that I see people using is that this movie is good, clean family entertainment. We see several murders on screen, including a strangulation. We see the detectives watching a woman undress in her bedroom through a peephole. And we hear constant insults from Don Knotts' character, some harmless, some inappropriate. To me, it feels like the movie was made for family audiences by people who were out of touch with what was appropriate for kids. Which is true of many family films. I personally have a very low tolerance for music, books, or movies that are marketed towards children but are either over their heads or not age-appropriate. I think that if something is produced for children, it should have input from someone who understands something about them. I would compare it to how children's toys have to be inspected for safety by experts.I'm sure I wouldn't bother bringing any of this up if I had found the movie even mildly entertaining. I'm giving it the lowest rating, a one out of ten. I prefer a little higher standard than this lazy effort. Just because it's for kids doesn't mean it has to be stupid.

If you haven't seen this flick, it is right up there with Young Frankenstein as the funniest of all time. Written by Tim Conway.Please note that the DVD is indeed edited. Some of the best gags with the pigeons were cut altogether in addition to some other dialouge scenes. These scenes are still available on the old Video Treasures VHS release that is available used.For those curious, the gag with the pigeon painted black/wings is cut, the pigeon catching fire is cut and the "Don't tell her they're canned peas!" scene was also cut. Unbelievable that Conway would let this happen to his only masterpiece....Perhaps maybe we'll get an uncut DVD someday - yeah right - it's amazing this is out on DVD now. Saw this in the theater when I was young and went back the very next day to see it again. After that I waited for 10 years before it came on TV and it still holds up today. RIP Don Knotts, thanks for all of the laughter...

I've loved this film from the moment I saw it as a kid. To this day Tim Conway's rambling "I think that someone doesn't want anyone to know that there may be someone here that might be someone that's a killer" line still gets me laughing! Highly recommended to anyone in search of a fun (and funny) film!

After starring in the lackluster THE PRIZE FIGHTER, Tim Conway and Don Knotts teamed up again for THE PRIVATE EYES. Once again, Conway co-wrote the screenplay. The result is no masterpiece, but it is considerably superior to their previous film. For one thing, this film avoids the previous film's forced sentimentality, focusing exclusively on laughs and thrills. Another bonus is a consistently strong supporting cast; THE PRIZE FIGHTER had some ho-hum players, particularly Robin Clarke's dull villain. Particularly standing out in THE PRIVATE EYES are Trisha Noble as the sultry, quirky heiress whom detectives Conway and Knotts try to protect and Bernard Fox as the deranged butler Justin who goes berserk at the mention of the word "Murder."THE PRIVATE EYES is a throwback to all those old haunted house comedies like Abbott and Costello's HOLD THAT GHOST in which the comic protagonist[s] endures numerous scares while trying to figure out the mysterious goings-on. The Biltmore House and Gardens in Asheville, North Carolina, where the film was made is an appropriate Gothic setting for the chills that Conway and Knotts experience. Peter Matz provides a lively score that conveys eeriness and mystery in a sprightly manner, appropriate for a horror comedy.Unfortunately, the horrors per se- bodies turning up and then disappearing, a masked figure stalking the mansion, etc.- are cliched and the humor is inconsistent. There are some genuine laughs, such as when Knotts explains how the heiress's parents were killed and Conway, in his enthusiasm to figure out what clues the explanation could reveal, proceeds to perform the same actions the murderer did, nearly killing Knotts in the process. But THE PRIVATE EYES is also saddled with embarrassingly childish jokes (at one point, Knotts, Conway, and Fox do the old "walk this way" routine) and repetitive gags that quickly lose steam. The final gag ending is too predictable to be funny.But for the most part, the stars shine even with substandard material. As the submissive partner, Conway projects a dimness that is both likably earnest and humorously deadpan. Knotts as the take-charge partner is reminiscent of his Barney Fife characterization, conveying an air of cockiness that is constantly punctured by his ineptitude and cowardice. With less gifted comedians, THE PRIVATE EYES would be very rough sledding.For all its faults, it's difficult to dislike THE PRIVATE EYES. The film never pretends to be anything more than an old-fashioned horror comedy and Conway and Knotts clown around with no misconceptions of profundity. THE PRIVATE EYES is not essential viewing, but it's a pleasant time killer for a rainy day.