Better Late Then Never

Absolutely the worst movie.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

There is definitely an excellent idea hidden in the background of the film. Unfortunately, it's difficult to find it.

Two decades before her debacle of the movie version of the Broadway musical "Mame", Lucille Ball had a truly wretched film which she herself had badmouthed. It was all to get out of that Columbia contract, hopefully to appear in the big Cecil B. Demille smash, "The Greatest Show on Earth", but of course, that didn't happen. Instead, she ended up on TV and the rest was immortality.Lucy's a princess here, beyond miscast as an obviously non-Arab Arab princess. This is miscasting at it's worst, with Lucy acting like she's ready to have a cat fight with the first actual Arab to come along and reclaim the title she seems to have stolen from them. She's the sister of the caliph, the subject of affections by the caliph's right hand man (Raymond Burr) who is twice as evil as the usurper caliph, having nefarious intentions himself. Years before, the rightful caliph was murdered, and his heir is sent off on a magic carpet, growing up to be John Agar, a common thief. Hired as the caliph's doctor simply because he cured his hiccups, he soon finds out his real identity and becomes involved with both Lucy and Patricia Medina, a peasant girl who is no Maria Montez or Yvonne De Carlo. Corny to the end, this is a quota quickie (produced by poverty row producer Sam Katzman) that was perfect for Saturday matinée audiences but forgotten soon after. Burr is appropriately sinister, with Lucy obviously phoning in a performance. George Tobias provides comedy relief while the actual carpet is pretty impressive allegedly flying through the air with the greatest of ease.

MGM's slogan was "More stars than there are in heaven." Columbia's might have been "More crap than there is in a chicken coop". Columbia produced some fine films, but its percentage of gobblers is notably higher than that of 20th, MGM, Paramount, Warner, etc. This is one of the turkeys.The story is the usual Arabian nights hokum. The dialog (some of which sounds as if it was lifted from Westerns) is written so as not to confuse a five-year-old, leading to terminal boredom for adults. The film is so uninvolving that the composer fills virtually every second with music, to make the viewer think something of interest is happening. The fight scenes, in particular, are notable non-events. (They look as if the actors choreographed them on the fly.)The acting is strictly amateur, with only Raymond Burr working up enough energy to sound convincing -- and that only occasionally. John Agar's performance is among his worst -- perhaps //the// worst. One gets an inkling of why his marriage to The Queen of Cute ended.The sets and costumes are lavishly cheap, and the color is the weirdly hued Super Cinecolor, a couple of notches inferior to the more-expensive Technicolor. The only things that show any taste or talent are several beautiful glass paintings.This is the sort of film that ought to have been skewered on MST3K, but wasn't. A shame, really.

THE MAGIC CARPET is great fun. A Sam Katzman Supercinecolor bargain counter costume extravaganza with Lucille Ball and John Agar... what's not to like? It made me want to see Monogram's ALADDIN and HIAWATHA made he same year also in Super cine-color... which I thought was fantastic and rich in every mad hue possible. What a calling card for Super Cinecolor! You actually could have a whole weekend watching all these films and top it off with RKOs SON OF SINBAD. Any scene with Lucy and a very confused Raymond Burr is hilarious and she clearly is between TV shows and running not walking through this silly funny film. Tin swords that clatter, people stamping about on the floor, and a flying carpet that looks like a stiff beach towel..... yippee! It's a masterpiece of razzle dazzle cine-color whizziness. See it and laugh.

Arabian Nights romps are popular around the house especially during this time of year for their exotic flavor, fantasy elements, action outbursts and general mindlessness. This film is best-known, if at all, for the presence of Lucille Ball; interestingly, she does not play the heroine but rather a sultry semi-villainess (the ambitious sister of the current Caliph, naturally a usurper). Equally predictably, the true heir to the throne (blandly played by John Agar) has survived an attack upon his life as an infant and, unaware of his heritage, has taken to living a life of poverty as a physician. The heroine, then, is a feisty (but who effortlessly works her feminine charms when the need arises) Patricia Medina – a regular in this type of film – who not only gets off with Agar on the wrong foot (by wanting to join the all-male band of rebels he secretly and all-too-suddenly finds himself leading under the guise of "The Scarlet Falcon"!), resents Ball (obviously over her attentions to Agar, eventually in the Caliph's employ when he cures a case of hiccups he had brought about in the first place) but has a brother of her own (Agar's sidekick and the film's obligatory supplier of comedy relief, George Tobias). As for the chief villain, we get no less than Raymond Burr: needless to say, he craves Ball's favors but she only has eyes for the dashing hero. The titular fabric comes in handy many a time during the course of the film, usually to allow Agar to make a nick-of-time escape or to meet up with his rabble and give them the low-down on the Caliph's movements so that they can finally storm the palace, rid the country of a tyrant and put Agar himself in his rightful place. As can be expected, the film is instantly forgettable and hardly great cinema but certainly makes for colorful fare and fun viewing to boot i.e. it provides perfect relaxation after a hard day at work.