Truly Dreadful Film

A different way of telling a story

Blistering performances.

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

A passionate tale of heartbreak and love triangles (literally). This movie lifted me to half mast, and kept me there for hours on and off. To say that this movie changed my life is a gross understatement to the testament of its magnitude on the movie experience. Move over Casablanca, this is the new American classic. i could go on and on about this movie. I have seen it multiple times and it has given me multiple orgasms. It is a travesty to try and confine this masterpiece in the parameters of human language. I feel like this movie has filled the void in my heart that was left aching from my disappointment of "Gladiator Maximus Glutius). I love Rob L.

With out a doubt, this little flick is funny then most, and way more erotic, then much of anything that has come out of Hollywood in the last few years. Darian Crane is perhaps one the best soft core erotic performers around, and if her scenes are simply girl/girl, or guy girl, she turns on just as a hot performance in both. She is very beautiful, and deserves to be allowed to carry a movie on her own. She has in this flick a great comedic timing, as does the star Misty Mundae, who's a great escape from the generic Hollywood starlets with fake chest (i.e. Paris Hilton). She, Crane, and AJ Kahn are all natural looking females who don't need much help from the make up department. If any movie out of the Hollywood cookie cutter needed to be Lampooned it is the overblown, over hyped Lord of the Rings series. The movie is fitfully funny, and just as erotic. Ignore every bad review of this movie that you have read. Those people weren't watching the same movie that I did. This movie is a must have!

Forget Peter Jackson's tepid version of the J. R. R. Tolkein classic trilogy, THIS is the movie that will define the Lord of the Rings for the next generation. Due to what I imagine were copyright issues, the names of the characters were changed slightly; however, it is pretty obvious who everyone really is:Dildo Saggens is obviously Bilbo Baggins and Smirnoff is actually Gandolf. Spam is actually Sam...it doesn't take a rocket scientist...From the very beginning, I was captivated with the sensitive retelling of the tale. Dildo reads from a book about her adventures to the camera. It is obvious that she is the dramatic lynch-pin from which this movie hangs. Good thing the producer chose the capable Misty Mundae, who played the Charleton Heston role in Playmate of the Apes. She has more personality than all the other actresses in the film put together. I know this because of the sheer number of times the other actresses in the film HAVE been put together...I was disappointed with the performance of John Link as "Ballem". You'd think after putting in such fine performances in The Erotic Witch Project and Gladiator Eroticus, that you would've put more effort into such an important role in this film. Juliette Charles, with a performance of a caliber normally given by a producer's niece or nephew, saved the movie for me and allowed me to enjoy the film to the credits.SPOILER: The girls have sex a lot...

OK, I saw the title on MAX one night and was thinking this will be really funny. I mean, the title...Dildo Saggins... Smirnoff? Come on, it had to be funny. In the end, I didn't bother to finish watching it, because, while the beginning was pretty funny (mostly bad jokes, but you laughed anyway), as it progressed, there was less humor and more REALLY REALLY BAD sex scenes. I mean, how hard is it to fake going down on someone? It doesn't take that much talent. And the scenes were all the same, not very exciting and seemingly random. Good stuff: The costuming was pretty good. However I doubt tongue rings and navel piercing were all the rage in those times. At least most of the breasts in the movie were real (except for the poor blonde pixie chick with the unfortunate boob job). I think my favorite line was Smirnoff using the SPAM bit from Monty Python. It was totally random, but great.If, according to another comment, this was the R-rated and not the UN-rated version, then I would consider seeing the unrated one to give it a fair shot. The concept had potential, but was poorly executed in this version.