Waste of Money.

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

Yeah, pals, I'll bet this is a dream of many writers, to portray his or her favorite character on the screen. I imagine Agatha Christy would have loved to portray Miss Marple, and Dashell Hammett possibly would have picked The Continental Op to portray.That off my chest, I feel kindly toward this film and was glad for the opportunity to see Spillane as Hammer. I can't say he was terribly good, but one can at least say that his portrayal was interesting, and I don't mean that as a put-down.It was also good as always to see Lloyd Nolan still around and adding to the film. This sure isn't the best Mike Hammer film, but I found it worth a look and imagine you will too.

This movie is a perfect illustration that good dialog in a book doesn't necessarily translate to good dialog in film. When one reads a line like "They just don't make dragons like they used to" it doesn't sound a corny as it does when spoken by a wooden Mickey Spillane.And the biggest problem isn't that Mickey Spillane is such a bad actor - it's that his is not the worst performance in the movie. Only Lloyd Nolan manages to sound like he's not reading lines off the back of a cereal box. Especially bad performances are put in by Hy Gardner as a newspaper columnist and Scott Peters' over the top job as a police captain and former partner of Hammer. At least Gardner has an excuse since he wasn't a professional actor like Peters. Shirley Eaton models a wide range of bikinis and is always easy on the eyes if not on the brain.Like any good pulp fiction, the plot of The Girl Hunters is besides the point. Hammer's old secretary Velda plays the role of the macguffin and Hammer spends his time trying to follow her trail and the murder of a politician. The end comes without us ever finding out what happened to Velda but it really doesn't matter. This movie is all style and no substance so we really never care about Velda.No Mike Hammer film is going to be make anyone forget Shakespeare but this is really a waste of time. I give it two stars only because the cinematography is good and Nolan shows what a real actor can do.Finally, why did they black out the credit at the end of the movie stating it was filmed at MGM studios in England? A strange ending to a strange mess of a movie.

Mike Hammer (Mickey Spillane) is found drunk and passed out by a police cruiser in an alley; he's taken to excessive drinking since the abduction of his girlfriend and secretary Velma, and is no good to himself or anyone else. Given a second chance and a new license to carry his cannon like .45 by new-found friend and FBI agent Rickerby (Lloyd Nolan) he sets out to find Velma and in the process meets the beautiful Laura Knapp (Shirley Eaton) who he first sees in her bikini as she's getting a suntan on an inflated raft in her pool. She makes a good femme fatale and has a neat seduction scene with him in her dark living room one night. Rickerby puts Hammer on the trail of "The Dragon" (Larry Taylor) a Soviet killer who might be connected to Velma's disappearance as well. The plot is difficult to follow, names are tossed out, and the viewer's job is to try and connect the dots. The pace is all right, directed by veteran Roy Rowland, and Spillane, though he isn't Olivier, grows on you as the film heads into a surprisingly violent ending.

It isn't that Mickey Spillaine can't act that makes this movie so awful. It's everything--from the amateurish directing and Neanderthal script to the annoying trumpet blasts that rise out of the soundtrack.There's absolutely nothing about this film that works. Everybody fawns over Mike hammer the whole time--with the exception of the mean cop who used to be his friend. There's your plot line.Here's a long shot but it could be that the producers of Goldfinger saw this bomb and stole a couple of items from it (no one would know since about 16 people ever saw this film on its release). First Shirley Eaton--the only woman in this thing --went on to stardom as the golden girl. And there's a scene before the big fight where the bad guy fires his hat Oddjob-style at our hero.What is about guys that can't act (and know it)? They seem to want to bring along others with the same deficiency. So Spillaine has several scenes with a real-life newspaper columnist that rank up there as some of the worst in the movie and, therefore, of all time.If you want something to do while watching this turkey, count the number of times Hammer pulls on and off his trenchcoat. London Fog had to be involved in the production.As for Mike Hammer movies, stay away from "Girl Hunters" and stick with Ralph Meeker and "Kiss me Deadly."