Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

Good concept, poorly executed.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Let's get something straight: This movie is ridiculous. That being said, it's pure genius. This movie mocks the horror films of the late 70's and early 80's. Those movies were based on teens drinking and having sex before getting killed by the bad guy. Think: Blood Beach, Prom Night, Friday the 13th, Halloween. That's the entire plot of this movie. Teens, despite being at a funeral, parade, football game, etc., sneak away to engage in intercourse before meeting their demise. The movie mocks the silly actions of your horror movie victims who often leave doors unlocked and ignore basic safety measures which lead to their demise. While some call the script weak, I call it witty and amusing. The more you watch Student Bodies the more you'll appreciate the dialogue and the acting itself.The killer is known as "The Breather". He or she employs unorthodox methods of murder including, but not limited to, death by eggplant. The protagonist, a prude named Toby (Kristen Riter), lectures her friends on the dangers of having sex. Toby ultimately ends up on crime scenes and becomes a suspect herself. Riter who later starred in a music video is attractive and believable in the role despite playing the prude. The rest of the cast does a nice job in their roles. Patrick Varnell aka "The Stick" was masterful as "Mr Malvert". Sara Eckhardt portrays Patty the Prom Queen in convincing manner. Eckhardt, from Austin, Texas, would eventually end up on the bench as a Travis County judge. Mr. Dumpkin, portrayed by veteran actor Joe Flood, is the shop teacher addicted to making horsehead bookends. Some of the scenes and lines are politically incorrect in this current climate but are funny nonetheless. Give this movie a try. It's better than any of the "Scary Movie" installments. It's an easy watch and it's quite addicting.10/10

I could fill this entire review with quotes and comedic bits I thought were funny in Student Bodies, a movie I am on the fence with calling "a guilty pleasure."Because, despite the fact it was simply made in order for Paramount to make at least some kind of profit during the writer's strike in 1981, it was actually a well shot and unbelievably well thought out movie – they certainly knew their subject down pat. I am saying that as an adult who has not watched this film in many, many years and knows (now) the history behind the subject matter and why they would make such a movie.Now, allow me to speak as the kid who practically grew up with this movie: I LOVED THIS MOVIE. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it. Okay, not enough to award it 5/5 stars, or even 4.5. In fact, it barely reached 4/5 stars because it's certainly not perfect. While 90% of the jokes were spot on and absolutely hilarious in regards to the FLOOD of late 1970s and 1980 horror films released, the other 10% were just plain silly and not silly-good. In addition, as in most movies, namely comedies but almost exclusively to spoofs, this one followed suit: start with a bang, continue with consistent humor while heading south and finishing in the recycle bin. It's sad how far this fell, and hard, in the last third that it couldn't hold up to the 5/5 stars I wanted to give it. It simply…fell apart.So, that said, I will wholeheartedly recommend the first two-thirds as some of the most ingenious and honest jokes when it comes to the slew of just plain horribly clichéd horrors released during this period of Hollywood's horror fest.A girl babysitting one night invites her boyfriend over in order to have sex with him on the parent's bed. Sound like a recipe for disaster in any/all horror slashers? Duh, that's what this movie's about. Naturally, the couple perishes and friend Toby (Riter) is distraught. But, not enough to keep coincidentally showing up when other sex-crazed teens "get it" before "getting it."Of course, this makes her the prime subject, even though the movie is…literally…telling us everyone's a suspect. God, it's refreshing to see such honesty in a movie. Along with pointing out who should be considered for the killer, the film also presents all the clues we need to know when someone's in danger or how to solve this.I'm not trying to give anything away for anyone who has not seen this (almost) comedic masterpiece; I'm just pointing out that they're pointing out how dumb those numerous horror-of-the-week releases were. And I've seen plenty. And I've done the obligatory countdown to when the killer will appear or roll my eyes when the best friend obviously has an ulterior motive.The movie creators seem almost embarrassed with the product they released, from what I've read. And despite what I stated about it being well shot (not perfect, but not amateurish by any means) it did seem rushed. Still…this was extremely close to the (actual) masterpiece Airplane! with the multiple jokes every minute ratio. Frankly, this movie barely gives us a second to stop laughing and take a "breath" (get it? The killer's name is "The Breather." Ah never mind.)Watch this movie. Sober or not. Preferably not. And with your drug of choice. In fact, there's got to be a dozen drinking games in regards to certain scenes in Student Bodies, such as: how many calls the killer makes (or at least how many times he's on the phone) or how many product placements you can find. Trust me…ask the DR. on how easy they are to spot.Side Note: I would welcome any comments from people who've actually seen this, namely for those who grew up on it, like I did. Guaranteed, we would be laughing our asses of with quotes from the movie or scene recaps, such as: "No, I just said 'click'" or "Ms. Shouldn't-Be-Here-Anyway" or "____ gets me hot" or when the music stops until the call's picked up or "…at 75 cents an hour…" Heck, I've personally used jokes from this movie since the first time I've seen it in the early 1980s, such as the fact I'll never get old and ugly thanks to Cyanide pills: "Death before disfigurement." – Thank goodness practically no one I know has seen this or they would know I plagiarized that line, even though I do eventually give credit to Student Bodies.(The following contains spoilers. In fact, it ruins everything for Student Body Virgins. Now: see the movie and then press on…)Side Note Part II: Above, I wrote the typical (for me, that is) movie review. Now, for personal notes on one of my all time favorite movies (despite the rating.) I loved the character of Malvert, the "ABSURD!" janitor who finds the cheese, pees red and unbelievably is known as "The Stick" in real life. I loved THE ENTIRE opening segment, especially the stairs, the look through the mail slot when there's four window panes, the weapon selection (which was stolen in Scary Movie,) the mother's – oh, God – reaction when she gets home and the fact the babysitter can hear the footsteps over the shower but not the creaky knob-turning. I loved the recurring jokes such as the phone's breath and "___ makes me hot" and the entire funeral & parade scenes. I loved the principal/faculty interrogation scene. I loved the tear wipe-away psych evaluation. I loved the horse-head book ends. I loved the garbage bag check. I loved the handicapped parking spot. And I loved the "It could be any/some-one" conclusion. And I loved the 911 call. And...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

We begin on an evening which happens to be Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Jamie Lee Curtis' birthday. A heavy-breathing figure wearing rubber gloves and squishy galoshes enters an unlocked home where babysitter Angela Bressler (as Julie) is anticipating a sexual encounter with hunky boyfriend Keith Singleton (as Charlie). Overcoming sticky stairway gum, "The Breather" manages to find the young couple before committing their dirty act, stabbing her with paper clips and stuffing him in a plastic garbage bag.Homeowners Douglas Cotner and Joan Browning Jacobs (as Mr. and Mrs. Hummers) return, eager to watch "The Dukes of Hazzard" after seeing a bad horror film. They discover the babysitter is not only dead, but also failed to wash the dishes. Nobody mentions the baby. All of the above is very funny and often suspenseful - but, the film slowly peters out. A later funny moment has an announcer coming on to guarantee the film will be rated "R" although the opening contains has the prerequisite frontal nudity.***** Student Bodies (8/7/81) Michael Ritchie ~ Kristen Riter, Matthew Goldsby, Jerry Belson, Joe Flood

im writing this at the time of watching it!I've had this movie for about 14 years on VHS, and for some reason i never watched it until now!!let me tell u this....I've been laughing from the second it started, im now about an hour into the movie!!i always thought scary movie was quite original....but whoever made that must of been a serious fan of this movie!! if u like scary movie you will love this...there's a lot more fun and laughs, and originality!! if u didn't like scary movie you will still enjoy this!! its a must for any horror or comedy fan!! i keep expecting the likes of lesley neilson to pop up somewhere!! this gets a 10 out of 10 from me, i haven't watched anythin so funny in a long time!!