Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast
Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast
R | 12 October 2011 (USA)
Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast Trailers

12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy. Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend.

Reviews
Bereamic

Awesome Movie

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SeeQuant

Blending excellent reporting and strong storytelling, this is a disturbing film truly stranger than fiction

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mraculeated

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

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Cristal

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

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arfdawg-1

12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy. Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend.Well we know from like frame one what killed them cuz we see it.I', surprised at reviews that say this is the worst movie ever. No way. Is it good? We that's relative. Low budget means it's not gonna be great. But it's really sort of funny and watchable.And I don't think it's meant to be taken seriously. Plus, I've seen far worse acting in these kinds of movies.It won't change your life, but it's watchable. And you will get a few laffs throughout.

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Woodyanders

A prehistoric shark of local legend begins eating the locals in a quiet wintry small town. Mike Evans (essayed with hammy brio by writer/director Sam Qualinana), the sole survivor of a past snow shark attack, leads an angry and armed posse who are determined to slay the beast. Writer/director Qualiana treats the gloriously ludicrous premise in a sidesplitting mock serious manner: The abundant cheesy gore (the CGI blood in particular is quite tacky), a hilariously obvious shark puppet, poky pacing, the monotonous hum'n'shiver synthesizer score, lousy (markedly less than) special effects, cardboard stock characters, a decent smattering of tasty gratuitous distaff nudity, crude cinematography, and the meandering narrative all give this exquisitely abominable baby a certain chintzy hokey charm that's impossible to either resist or dislike. The endearingly awful acting by the lame no-name cast further adds to this picture's considerable kitschy appeal, with stand-out stinky work by Michael O'Hear as the no-nonsense Prof. Jonathan Hoffman, Jackey Hall as the feisty Daphne, C.J. Qualiana as the morose Sheriff Donald Chapman, Kathy Murphy as the tart Wendy, Andrew Elias as nerdy cryptozoologist Lincoln Anderson, Andy Taylor as obnoxious macho redneck hunter Cameron Caine, and Robert Bozak as the jerky Mayor Shawn Overman. A complete crummy hoot.

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Harlow_WU

Wow! Just wow! I've seen scarier sharks inside sock puppets.As far as bad acting skills go this is up there with the worst porn.I once thought that Zombie Nation was the worst film I had ever seen but this makes that look like cinema gold.Me and my friends love a bad movie, they are great for a laugh, but this film is just beyond that, darlin'. Bad, I'm mean really bad, acting, bad direction, bad editing, bad script, bad hairstyles and facial hair that randomly change and no point commenting about the effects. I'm pretty sure this was filmed in someone's backyard.So, if you have trouble sleeping, watch this. You'll fall asleep in no time.Btw, did I mention how BAD the acting was!!!!

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dailyplanetdude

Okay, this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but really had to force myself to watch the entire thing. I lost interest two minutes into the movie. Dialogue- stilted, off putting, uninteresting and flat. Characters- no real depth, these characters weren't even two dimensional, they were inverted. No on screen chemistry, talent or engaging characters to relate to. No one to cheer far. Cinematography- Horrible, the color saturation was horrid. It's as if it was shot from a cell phone. Actually, I've got to correct myself, i've seen better movies that were shot from an iPhone. This was just horrible all across the board. Acting, dialogue, characters, story, plot, execution/delivery of the story, no character arcs, nothing interesting.I actually enjoyed cute cat videos on youtube more than this. I imagine it was shot with a couple of friends, a couple of dollars and only a couple of hours, including the editing, retakes, and everyone's shooting schedule. what a piece of crap.

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