Better Late Then Never

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

It is interesting even when nothing much happens, which is for most of its 3-hour running time. Read full review

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

The film honestly was just bad... Just disgusting for being disgusting and really bad acting...The film had no shortage of blatant disgustingness: Bugs, urine, vomit, cannibalism, murder, pedophilia, incest, crucifix masturbations, blood, bloody sex, and more.What the film did have was a shortage of explaining why we needed to see all this and why it was even so important for this film...Not disturbing, not shocking, not intense or scary... Just full on disgusting.

Slow Torture Puke Chamber (2010) ** (out of 4) The third and final film in Lucifer Valentine's trilogy once again has Ameara Lavey returning in the role of Angela Aberdeen but we also have Hope Likens who also gets in on the puking.I must admit that Valentine at least put his stamp on this trilogy and there's no question that he made the "vomit/gore" genre. I'm not really sure if that's something to brag about but this third film pretty much offers us the exact same thing as the first two. Does it push the limits even further? I would say no because the second film is probably the best and most vile of the bunch.With that said, Valentine throws a few new things into the mix with the biggest having the ladies drink their own pee. This happens several different ways and it seems that the peeing is the main focus of this film but have no fear you puke fans, that stuff happens too. It happens quite a bit throughout the 77-minute running time to be exact so fans of that will be happy.As I've said about the first two films, there's nothing I'd recommend here but at the same time there's no question that the director has delivered a vile and shocking film, which is what he intended to do.

Lucifer Valentine takes quite a bit of pride in having invented a new subgenre - vomit gore. It's undeniably unique, but in saying that I'm reminded of a quote David St Hubbins once made about Nigel Tufnel - "Nobody else plays quite like him. Nobody even tries." That certainly rings true here. The main problem with Valentine's films is that he takes an interesting premise - witnessing the internal visions of a woman during the moments of brain death following suicide - and merely uses it as an excuse to splatter his fetishes across the screen. So the vomit gore trilogy finally reaches its long-awaited (or maybe not) conclusion and, as I see it, there are 3 options as to how this could play out: 1. The hallucinogenic qualities could be amped up to create an Eraserhead style nightmare. 2. The puking could be pushed to inhuman levels, soaking the screen in a non-stop barfing frenzy. 3. It could be the exact same thing as the other films, with a different title.Sadly, it takes the third option, although it does head off in a slightly different, darker direction.The film starts with a spoken disclaimer from star Hope Likens that she agreed to be involved, was informed of the content, signed daily contracts and was given a safe word to be used at any time. Is this just a cheap shock tactic? Sure it is! But hey, when the movie's called Slow Torture Puke Chamber, complaining about cheap shocks seems a little silly. So the curtain rises and immediately cue scenes of Likens being slapped, beaten, choked with a belt, etc. - all very real. Nothing you wouldn't see in your average Max Hardcore flick but still pretty nasty. What follows is a fair chunk of the usual Lucifer Valentine fare - puking blood into shot glasses and then downing them one by one; masturbating with crucifixes and hurling onto Jesus; bloody tampons; pig masks; and of course lots of pissing and blowing chunks.What sets it apart though is the confessions of self-loathing from the actresses and an even greater focus on degradation than usual. It all culminates in a 20 minute finale involving a pregnant woman, a big knife, a blender and a puking machine named Hank Skinny, that is by far the nastiest set-piece. Sure, it's got plenty of puke and gore, but it's the implications behind what we're seeing that make for a much more pernicious beast - this is the pornography of abuse and there's something quite evil about it. Any sense of enjoyment that might be had from vomit gore leaves the room, making way for something considerably more unnerving.Certainly gender politics come into play here. A woman pissing on her own face is automatically assumed to be fetishistic porn, whereas a guy pissing on his own face could be put in the new Jackass movie and play in mainstream theatres around the world. But still it's hard to watch the debasement on display here and not think that these women are broken goods. When Hope Likens breaks down on-camera while talking about her childhood sexual experiences with her father, it feels uncomfortably real. If it's not, then she's quite an actress. Either way, I'm not the judgemental type. I'm sure starring in a puke flick is just as cathartic and no less degrading than paying some therapist 100 bucks an hour to pretend to care about your problems. So I say, you go girls! Get them clothes off and puke your guts out to your heart's content. As long as all the barf stays on that side of the screen, then these freaky chicks are alright in my book.