Well Deserved Praise

Pretty Good

A bit overrated, but still an amazing film

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

In the early to mid-1970s, a lot of films were made by American film companies working in the Philippines. Why? Because it was CHEAP! President Marcos gave these cheapo filmmakers lots of incentives to come to his country--even if most of the movies they made were pure schlock! So, when I saw this film was made in the Philippines and was directed by Eddie Romero (famous for schlocky Filipino productions), I thought I needed to see it. After all, the films are usually pretty funny--albeit unintentionally so! One thing you should know about the movie, however, is that despite the DVD title "Ebony, Ivory and Jade", it isn't exactly a blacksploitation film. The title "Savage Sisters" seems much more appropriate.A group of female American athletes are taken prisoner and held for ransom. Some of his associates are idealistic rebels--but they don't know that their leader has no intention of honoring any of him promises. He plans on taking the random money and either killing the ladies or selling them into slavery.Now you'd think this would be a great recipe for schlock film, but you would be wrong. Because it's a PG-rated film* and appears to be less sensationalistic than most films of this genre, it has to rely more on acting--and that's a problem since no one in the film appears to be able to act. In addition, the music is among the worst I've ever heard in a film--so very repetitive that you are about ready to plunge an ice pick into your ears to make it stop! Overall, a rather stupid and poorly made film without even exploitation value. So, essentially, you are left with nothing.*Although IMDb lists this as rated R, the DVD says PG and it has no nudity or extreme violence.

Although I adored the title, I kept my thumb hovering above the stop button, should it veer into a weird jungle cannibal/rape place. The first line, uttered by a Magnum P.I. look-alike (John Ashley) lounging in a tiki-hut with a small harem, is "Billingsly's my name and hustlin's my game." He goes on to talk about a million dollars entering the island, and how it affects one innocent couple, "Her bag was love, his the revolution." I didn't really think it could get any better, but then young Sid Haig showed up as the laugh-riot villain "Malavaso" who only knows one adjective (try to guess what it is), "You blow your stinkin' signal out your stinkin' ass," "I guess this is where we blow your stinkin' heads off," "Get these stinkin' bodies out of here," and "Stick a stinkin' gun in my stinkin' face." It is all a bunch of confusion and false eyelashes, and as Donatella Versace clone Caffaro and friend Mai Ling prepare for their executions, Caffaro strikes the Paris Hilton pose, determined to die hot, and snipes, "No comment, Pork Chop." I must have been drying my tears of laughter, because I don't know how they got out of that scrape, but next thing I know we're being introduced to Gloria Hendry (afro in full effect), who is too sexy, American, and feisty to not eventually join the other girls. She's an interrogator, and she rigs up the string on the door handle trick for pulling a tooth, except the string is down some guy's pants instead of 'round his tooth. When asked how it went, she smirks, "Things were a little tense, but I think it came off alright." That's why she's a Bond girl. When Hendry learns about the cool mil ("greenback salad, my favorite dish"), she breaks out the girls, taking them Magnum P.I.. Caffaro doesn't trust him, and that kicks off this Eisenstein-inspired sequence: Magnum doing push-ups in BLUE briefs/cut to after sex with Caffaro/he does sit-ups in the BLUE briefs/Next cut, push ups in LEOPARD print briefs/cut to after sex with Gloria/sit-ups in LEOPARD briefs/Finally, push-ups in RED briefs/after sex with Mei Ling/sit-ups in RED briefs.Now positive they can't trust him, they tie him to a tree, but he shows them he still has the upper-hand with the zinger, "Yeah, well, I used to think I'd let you all pee in my face just to see where it came from. Well not anymore!" What?! They make their way to a "Pegleg's Keg" where they dress up like Dolly Parton and Gloria strips (actually, she just dances and takes her belt off) to distract the patrons. Eventually, they get the money from Haig, bury him in the sand with his head sticking out, and playfully wrestle with Magnum P.I.End tally – moustaches: 8,472/bras: 0

From the outset, it's clear that Savage Sisters is an action comedy, as John Ashley's character W.P. Billingsley, comfortably ensconced with an armful of beach bunnies, flippantly introduces us to a tale of revolution, piracy, and military ineptitude. There are occasions when the film almost slips into the realm of Jess Franco-style video nasty, but it always pulls away at the last moment, maintaining a frisky, lighthearted attitude to the end. Ashley is at his best as the unscrupulous Billingsley, who double crosses partners and changes sides at the drop of the hat, but the rest of the cast is also clearly having great fun. Sid Haig and Vic Diaz make a great villainous twosome, Cheri Caffaro displays surprising depth as revolutionary Jo, and Eddie Garcia and Leopoldo Salcedo score points as a pair of over the edge Filipino army officers. The script is credited to 'Harry Corner' and 'H. Franco Moon', but these are surely pseudonyms for someone much more accomplished--perhaps Ashley himself. Technically, Savage Sisters looks great, with well framed set-ups and carefully lit cinematography, and Les Baxter's marvelous and colourful score will have soundtrack fans salivating for a CD reissue. Popcorn movies don't get any better than this.

You have to give credit to this Filipino actioner for at least trying something different, and that's with making the movie more or less a comedy. However, the comedy is so lazy, so uninspired, and so utterly unfunny that sitting through the movie is more painful than had it kept the comedy out! (Also, the comedy sometimes has a mean-streak in it, giving some scenes a bitter taste.)It's not that the movie is just bad with its comedy, it's also badly made. The "action" is poorly choreographed, and the mayhem has the intensity of seeing a group of people running by you. As well, there is some unbelievably slipshod editing; characters suddenly appear (or disappear) with no explanation as to how they got there or where they went. Added with a prologue that suspiciously looks like it was filmed and added in at the last minute, there seems to have been some problems during the shooting, or that they were frantically trying to save the movie in the editing room.Oh yeah, don't let the "R" rating fool you. The rating seems to be more for several utterances of the "ultimate" four-letter words. The action isn't graphic, the sex happens off-screen or just out of camera range, and I don't think there's one instance of actual nudity by the ladies. You have to ask yourself why if they were headed for an "R" rating with the language, why they didn't use the opportunity to spice things up.