Truly the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater

Let's be realistic.

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

Hopefully in a few years, "Ring Of The Musketeers" will become a cult classic. It has everything you want: David Hasselhoff "acting" and "singing", Cheech Marin being a Mexican stereotype, and lots more! The plot is about John Smith D'Artagnan played by The Hoff, who is a musketeer. Smith and his two other musketeers fight crime for a living. Smith seeks out the missing fourth musketeer, who is played by Cheech. The whole movie is fun. Cheech tells jokes, and The Hoff doesn't laugh. It's great. Hasselhoff thinks he's doing Shakespeare with this film. Watch it tonight Or buy it! I did! For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

As a avid fan of the Muskateir legend, author of several essays and books on the Muskatear mythology and expert on the mythos, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this account, THE RING OF THE MUSKATEEERS, is the real deal. This reelly happened. It's what the original author (can't remember his name at this point) had envisioned when he wrote the original story, complete with the cerebral comedy of comic foil, Cheech. He'd outlined the idea of a future Muskiteer band of descendants riding what he called "moto-horses" and a form of music called "shake and spill" played by the Johnny character. Maybe some pedestrian fans of the Moskuter movies might disagree, but this one pretty much captures the true essence of what should be considered the PENULTIMATE Mouskateers movie. I advise you to not only seek out RING OF THE MUSKATEIRS, but burn all copies of Muskateeeer movies you have in effigy. There not worthy of existence, in my eduacated opinion. In fact, if you know of anyone who owns the Keefr Suthrland movie with the dreamy Oliver Platt, borrow their copy and break it in half on your knee. Just smile, tell them, "I think you loaned me THIS one" and hand them a copy of THE RING OF THE MUSKITIURS. You'll be glad you did.

This made for TV movie may not be at the level of Shakespeare, but it doesn't have to be. It is meant to be light entertainment, in other words you don't have to think too hard. I watched it originally because John Paragon directed it. (He also has a small role as the air control supervisor). I re-watched it because it's just fun and a bit silly.The only performers credited I recognized were John Rhys-Davies, David Hasselhoff, Corbin Bernsen and Cheech Marin. But it has several surprise performances in small parts. Keep an eye-out for Cassandra Peterson (Elvira), Edie McClurg, Lynne Marie Stewart (Pee Wee's Playhouse's Miss Yvonne), and Suzanne Kent (Pee Wee's Playhouse's Mrs. Rene).

400 years after Louis XIII formed the elite group known as 'The Musketeers', the successors to the original four are the ones in possession of the four rings. In modern-day Los Angeles, the Musketeers ride motorcycles and fight with their fists, not swords. John Smith D'Artagnan is a rock star who lives in what looks like a European castle and does like to fence. Peter Portos is an unconventional German teacher. Anne Marie Athos is a sultry female radio host who calls herself Dr. Love. And Burt Aramis generally finds himself on the wrong side of the law. The ex-con claims his grandmother gave him his ring, but who knows?At the beginning of the movie, a nine-year-old is kidnapped. His mother is just a waitress, but his uncle is an air traffic controller, and one of two witnesses scheduled to testify against mobster Vince Pellito is being flown into the city. Someone doesn't want the first witness to testify.Burt is told what the ring means, and at first he is reluctant to join the elite group, but eventually he wants to be 'A Mouseketeer'. His training process is hilarious, and he fails miserably in his first attempt to help on a case. Burt is street smart, though, and he does make valuable contributions. Mostly he is just comedy relief.This was not exactly a comedy, but Cheech Marin was very funny as Burt, and if not for him this movie wouldn't have been worth much. John Rhys-Davies had his good moments as Maurice, the man in charge of the Musketeers, and Alison Doody was quite good on the radio (too bad we couldn't have seen more of that), and she too came across well primarily in the second half. Corbin Bernsen did okay as Anne Marie's ex-husband, but he didn't reach his potential. To say exactly what he did would be a SPOILER, so we'll just say he and his ex didn't get along. If you're not looking for anything serious, this movie was okay. But it should not be mentioned in the same sentence with a literary classic.