Just so...so bad

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

Set in a small Finnish village near the North pole, a group of men discover what they think is the real Santa Clause. Unbeknownst to them, he is an ancient, evil spirit punishing naughty children. Rare Exports is a dark and clever horror tale with a minimalistic plot, decent performances, and a thrilling atmosphere. Lacking common horror movie tropes, this independent feature shines because of its witty plot and its great use of music to highlight the more thrilling scenes.Overall 7/10 Full review on movie-discourse.blogspot.de

After two well-received web entries, 2003's Rare Exports Inc. and 2005's Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions, writer and director Jalmari Helander created this ode to the darker side of Santa Claus.A British company called Subzero is doing arctic deep drilling when it discovers that a burial mound contains something hidden. Two boys, Juuso and Pietari listen in, then argue the existence of Santa before Pietari goes home to read how Santa is really a horned being who whips bad kids and boils them alive.The day before Christmas Eve, Pietari's dad, Rauno, digs a trap to protect his reindeeer herd from wolves, who have been driven mad by the explosions and digging. They discover hundreds of dead reindeer, all gnawed to death, but both Pietari and his father are unsure if the wolves are really to blame.Rauno blames his misfortune on the Subzero company and heads out for retribution. However, he finds no one there, just a deep pit into what looks like Hell. Then, they learn that potatoes, heaters and even a hairdryer have gone missing. Even worse, Jusso jas disappeared, a fact that Pietari discovers has happened to kids all over the village.Another villager, Piiparinen, finds an old man who is near death, who goes from deceased to able to attack to strong enough to break metal bars. They dress the old man as Santa and inform Subzero's American boss, Riley. He informs them that they only have an elf and must not beave rudely. One swear word later and the lights, Riley and his pilot have all been killed.Everyone runs to Hangar 24, where they discover a horned beast trapped in a block of ice being warmed by the stolen heaters. They also see sacks fo kidnapped children before they are attacked by the elves.What follows is a daring rescue and escape, with Santa being blown up real good and Raulo ending up working with Subzero to send teh elves to American malls, where they will be seasonal Santas.Rare Exports could have been a silly parody of a film, but it is shot with dark charm and plenty of verve. It's a really unique piece of cinema that surprised me at several turns.

Finnish filmmaker Jalmari Helander takes the beloved character of Santa Claus back to his roots in this dark yet provocative combination of horror, fantasy, comedy, and father-son drama that's definitely enchanting in its own way. Here, Santa is not the jolly fat gift giving man with whom we're all familiar but something more ethereal and unnerving. Helander, also credited as the production designer, gives this film a wonderful look at all times, and takes full advantage of the environment and vistas. There is some damn good atmosphere on display here. The characters here are an amusing bunch, and they're led by the young Onni Tommila in a natural and convincing performance as our child hero Pietari.Pietari lives with a widowed father named Rauno (Jorma Tommila), a reindeer herder. Near their residence, in the Korvatunturi mountains, a dig is being organized - but the man in charge of the dig is looking for something quite unusual. Soon, Rauno catches a man in one of his traps - a man who Pietari believes is *the* Santa Claus of legend. Rauno and his friends Aimo (Tommi Korpela) and Piiparinen (Rauno Juvonen) thinks that maybe they can capitalize on their discovery - but first, there's the little matter of the multitudes of "elves" that have come to rescue their master.If you're looking for something off the beaten path and are sick and tired of cheery and sentimental holiday fare, "Rare Exports" may be something you'll find interesting. It's certainly got a fair bit going for it, with a story that moves steadily along towards a reasonably exciting finale - and a delicious final joke. You'll notice that it runs a mere 83 minutes, so it doesn't go on any longer than it has to. Its music (by Juri and Miska Seppa) is beautiful, and the performances are all appealing. Overall, this is great stuff and comes highly recommended.Eight out of 10.

This movie was thoroughly disturbing. I can withstand the storyline to a point, right up until they show one of "Santa's Elves." They are naked old men, and I MEAN FULL DONG NAKED. Don't watch this "Santa" movie with your kids, this is not a children's movie. Maybe in Finland it's normal for kids to see full grown men naked... Everything up to that was OK, no amazing special effects, just one CG moment when you see "Santa" in a huge frozen block of ice. He doesn't even get unfrozen to interact with the plot at all. Sorry about the spoilers, I tried to reveal as little as possible, unlike the people who thought it was sensible to make a Santa movie with dozens of naked men in it. There's another classification for those kinds of movies: Gay Porn.