I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

It isn't all that great, actually. Really cheesy and very predicable of how certain scenes are gonna turn play out. However, I guess that's the charm of it all, because I would consider this one of my guilty pleasures.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Several folks find themselves being terrorized on a remote island by a deranged and dangerous family of backwoods cannibal hicks. Sound good? Well, it sure ain't. Man, does this mind-numbing schlockfest strike out something rotten in every possible way: The flat (non)direction by Henri Charr, the painfully plodding pace, the jumbled narrative that awkwardly jumps back and forth in time, the trite, tedious, and talky script by David Golia and John B. Pfiefer, the extremely poor acting from a lame no-name cast, the insipid cardboard characters, the severe death of both suspense and spooky atmosphere, and the crudely rendered graphic gore all make this turkey a truly grueling chore to endure. Luckily, the delectable Kirsten Baker, who played the sexy skinny dipper in "Friday the 13th Part 2," spends all of her screen time in a yummy red bikini that shows off her smoking hot tight body quite nice (and the less said about her underwhelming plywood performance the better). Moreover, wizened veteran character actor Hank Worden injects some much-needed (and appreciated) vigor into the otherwise lifeless proceedings with his enjoyably hammy portrayal of grumpy hillbilly patriarch Gramps Jebediah. But overall this crud proves to be so dull and draggy that it alas can't quality as a good bad time for connoisseurs of craptacular cinema. Absolute claptrap.

One thing is for sure: "Please Don't Eat the Babies" is a much more memorable moniker for this silly film than the less imaginative "Island Fury". It's a true odd duck of a film, an awkwardly written, directed, and acted production that may be an endurance test for some viewers, while remaining enough of a curio to keep more patient and adventurous people watching. Unfortunately, it tends to be on the dull side of things, and won't be nearly exploitative enough to suit some tastes. The story has two carefree young ladies, Sugar (Elizabeth Monet) and Bobbylee (Tanya Louise) being kidnapped by thuggish mobsters and forced to travel to an island in order to search for treasure there. Turns out, these gals have been to this island before, and dealt with its peculiar problem: the residents, led by easygoing Gramps (Western veteran Hank Worden), are cannibals. The sad thing is that there never is very much in the way of flesh munching in this thing, nor is there quite enough female skin. One good thing is that there is some priceless dialogue to enjoy, and some delicious "so bad it's good" type moments, especially as the survivors struggle to escape the clutches of our nutty villains, including an old lady and a simple minded henchman named Junior. In addition to Worden, there's one other familiar face here, and that's the ravishing Kirsten Baker whom slasher fans will recognize from "Friday the 13th Part 2" as Terry, the gal who went skinny dipping in that film. She looks mighty fine in a bikini, which helps to make up for her listless performance. One of the biggest problems here is how lightweight all of this is; it's just not horrific enough to work as any sort of horror film. But if you think you can take just about anything, by all means go ahead and try sitting through these 89 minutes of tedium. Four out of 10.

I'm going to champion ISLAND FURY here & take a chance by recommending it. Since the movie is issued on the same DVD as Wayne Crawford's BARRACUDA: THE LUCIFER PROJECT it's one that should end up on your shelves anyway. Linking themes between the two films are summer, boats, the ocean, and girls in swimsuits.This is the less conventional of the two, telling the story of a pair of teenage girls in their mid 20s who find themselves abducted by a gang of pinheads for a golden doubloon one wears as a charm. The gang concludes there must be more where it came from, kidnap the two bimbos from a Chinatown carnival in an odd sequence, and are really mean to the ladies until one of them spills the story of how they ended up trapped on a secluded island as kids & terrorized by a family of cannibalistic hermits.The film seems to be drawing it's inspiration from the 1982 shocker HUMONGOUS but with the addition of more teen friendly elements such as extensive profanity and Kirsten Baker, fresh from her nude swim in Friday THE 13TH PART 2 and with a new hair perm, who spends the entire film decked out in a red bikini to display her fabulous body. It may not seem like reason enough to bother with the movie but if like me you are a Wayne Crawford fan you'd end up with the DVD anyway & might as well enjoy it for what you can.I liked the cannibal family, let by a Ma Barker type & good old Mose from THE SEARCHERS who both scuttle about fretting over "the young 'uns" who have come to visit. The movie's sense of humor might be lost on those looking for blood, guts and boobs, and quite frankly I wish the filmmakers had concentrated on either of the two story skeins; it feels as though two movie ideas were compressed into one, resulting in a lackluster conclusion that is far less interesting than some of the bits that lead up to it. I say give it a chance, no it's not a particularly clever film but in the right frame of mind it's a harmless distraction. With Kirsten Baker in a bikini. Hot.5/10

This is a particularly inept and difficult film to watch. Like many other of the early-80s American horror films of the same bracket, there is little in the way of atmosphere or gore to keep one interested. At this particular time, the gulf between US and European low budget horror was enormous. This particular movie takes the worst from the contemporary US horror films (such as HALLOWEEN) and 50s monster movies and creates an absolutely lamentable waste of time. Don't bother.