Charming and brutal

It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.

It isn't all that great, actually. Really cheesy and very predicable of how certain scenes are gonna turn play out. However, I guess that's the charm of it all, because I would consider this one of my guilty pleasures.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

ISLAND FURY is an odd and quirky little thriller from the early 1980s that mixes in elements from the horror and slasher genres, although the end result is strictly average. The film begins with a back story that feels a little muddled and unnecessary, but it picks up speed once some titular characters are kidnapped and head off to a remote, mostly uninhabited island by a group of thugs who are looking for hidden treasure. Instead they find a seemingly friendly old couple and something more murderous lurking in the shadows. This is better than I expected, with fairly decent direction at times and a good picture quality, but the acting is strictly awful and the script pedestrian. There are one or two fun kill scenes and a good supporting role for old-timer Hank Worden, best known for numerous roles in John Wayne westerns over the years.

One thing is for sure: "Please Don't Eat the Babies" is a much more memorable moniker for this silly film than the less imaginative "Island Fury". It's a true odd duck of a film, an awkwardly written, directed, and acted production that may be an endurance test for some viewers, while remaining enough of a curio to keep more patient and adventurous people watching. Unfortunately, it tends to be on the dull side of things, and won't be nearly exploitative enough to suit some tastes. The story has two carefree young ladies, Sugar (Elizabeth Monet) and Bobbylee (Tanya Louise) being kidnapped by thuggish mobsters and forced to travel to an island in order to search for treasure there. Turns out, these gals have been to this island before, and dealt with its peculiar problem: the residents, led by easygoing Gramps (Western veteran Hank Worden), are cannibals. The sad thing is that there never is very much in the way of flesh munching in this thing, nor is there quite enough female skin. One good thing is that there is some priceless dialogue to enjoy, and some delicious "so bad it's good" type moments, especially as the survivors struggle to escape the clutches of our nutty villains, including an old lady and a simple minded henchman named Junior. In addition to Worden, there's one other familiar face here, and that's the ravishing Kirsten Baker whom slasher fans will recognize from "Friday the 13th Part 2" as Terry, the gal who went skinny dipping in that film. She looks mighty fine in a bikini, which helps to make up for her listless performance. One of the biggest problems here is how lightweight all of this is; it's just not horrific enough to work as any sort of horror film. But if you think you can take just about anything, by all means go ahead and try sitting through these 89 minutes of tedium. Four out of 10.

Amateurish account of two young women abducted by thugs after the gold coin worn by one of them is recognised as a rare antiquity. After a lot of threats and intimidation, the girls finally agree to reveal the location of the treasure, recounting in flashback the horrific events they survived as a pair of precocious teenagers when their group was drugged and dismembered by a family of deranged maniacs on a remote island.An earthquake, a bizarre ritualistic castration, random close-ups of cockroaches, a village idiot and a pair of not-so-wholesome old folks with sinister intentions are just a few of the dubious encounters you'll experience in this offbeat thriller. 30's cowboy staple Hank Worden looks frail but delivers his corn-fed dialogue ("I done got him that time granny, now how 'bout some pie") with professionalism, while the only other recognisable face is that of Kirsten Baker ("Friday the 13th Part II") in a frivolous (and topless) supporting role.Low budget props and special effects (e.g. the sponge-dummy "body" lying on the ground in the barn when Todd is attempting his escape) earn a high camp value while a couple of gruesome meat hook / meat cleaver incidents and a gratuitous sex scene up the sadism ratio considerably. Quirky and amateurish, but curiously entertaining nonetheless, the film's legacy of wisdom is a warning to all: don't accept herbal tea from old folks.

~Spoiler~Island Fury, a.k.a. Please Don't Eat the Babies, is definitely one of the weirder movies I've seen. That is saying a lot, believe me. The film has two separate timelines going on at once. One takes place in the present that follows two women who are being chased by some two-bit thugs who kidnap them and force them to help find some buried treasure on an island. The second timeline focuses on the same two women when they were little girls during their original trip to the island. In the flashback story, definitely the more entertaining of the two, the girls are traveling with some tweens who decide to treasure hunt on the island. They are taken in by a family who lives on the island and whose presence should raise about a hundred red flags if our characters were smart. Lucky for us, they aren't. The scenes where the tweens are being attacked by the family are truly bizarre. The patriarch of the family is played by Hank Worden, who is about 100 years old in this picture. He was the star of many great westerns in the past, but I know him as the "Elderly and Senile Room Service Waiter" from Twin Peaks. So if you can imagine him being menacing, or trying to be, you will see the dilemma the viewer is faced with. These scenes consist of Worden walking outside his cabin, firing his rifle towards the main characters, and simply walking back into the cabin. This happens several times and is downright goofy. Other head scratching moments that aren't even mentioned by any of the characters are giant bugs, underwater fissures and earthquakes, a nude lady who likes to castrate men, and some...thing who kills people with a pitchfork. I almost believe this is a Night Train to Terror situation where many movies were pieced together and the footage is totally incoherent. There is no logic to Island Fury and for that reason I wish more people would watch it just so I could discuss it with someone. Should you choose to accept this mission, don't say I didn't warn you.