recommended

Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

Horrible, fascist and poorly acted

Blistering performances.

I love amateur horror filmmaking to death, but even I'm having troubles finding any redeeming qualities about "Motor Home Massacre". Things just don't add up: logically you would assume a slasher flick by and for avid horror fans would be technically inept, but still filled with all kinds of good stuff and everything the audience would want. "Motor Home Massacre" proves me wrong however, because it takes forever before something actually happens in this movie. The entire first hour is all padding. We get some funny attempts at giving the characters emotional depth (complete with flashbacks to their past relationships, fascinating stuff), we get some unfunny attempts at comic relief, we get to look at some fake boobs and we meet the most obvious red herring character in the history of cinema. Then finally the action takes place, but all the kills and chase scenes are so poorly done that writer/director Allen Wilbanks usually just prefers to keep everything off screen or shot from the most ridiculous angles. A lot of people die in a very short period of time, but it's still about as exciting as watching grass grow because you don't see anything and there's just no atmosphere whatsoever. Oh, and then there's the big finale in the end, where the killer turns out to be ***gasp*** exactly who you thought it was. It doesn't take much for me to like one of these things, but this one just doesn't give you anything.

When you go into a film like "Motor Home Massacre", you expect to see either: 1) A surprisingly well crafted film that actually delivers some genuine suspense, even if it is low budget. (Extremely unlikely.) or 2) A movie that makes you burst out in peals of laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.What we have here is a case of the second option. Basically, the story concerns a group of kids who are portrayed in the crudest possible stereotypes that you'd expect in a "dead teenager" film. They go camping, and have a fateful encounter with a machete wielding maniac.That's it, pretty much. The villain doesn't even use a chainsaw for the killings, which was odd, being that there's a bloody chainsaw on the cover of the DVD. One of those little things that makes you go "Hmmm..." The direction, atmosphere, and acting in this film ranks somewhere in between a softcore porn film you'd see on Cinemax at two in the morning, and a film class project made by high school students.That's not to say that there wasn't anything about "Motor Home Massacre" that I didn't enjoy. One memorable part involving a gas station cashier and the soon-to-be machete meat had me in stitches. "What kind of troubles?" "DEAD PEOPLE TROUBLES." Whoever wrote the script for this film was a mad genius.

Motor Home Massacre starts as four friends, Roger (Nelson Bonilla), Lincoln (Todd Herring), Nick (Greg Corbett) & Benji (Justin Geer), climb aboard a big motor home ready for a weekend camping in the wilderness at a place called 'Black Creek Park'. On their way they pick up three girls, Sabrina (Shan Holleman), Brooke (Breanne Ashley) & Faith (Nichole Crisp) to join in the fun, however once there they are confronted with a crime scene as the previous night a double murder took place & the killer hasn't yet been apprehended...Co-edited, photographed, co-written & directed by Allen Wilbanks this is the sort of low budget crap that gives horror, the genre that I love, a bad name. The script is terrible, utterly predictable, totally clichéd, takes itself far too seriously & judging from the title you would expect some sort of slasher with a bunch of teens being killed off in various gory ways but what Motor Home Massacre is in reality is more of a murder mystery & when I use the word mystery I use it in the loosest possible sense because the killers identity is no mystery at all I had guessed it correctly within 25 minutes. This is pretty much amateur hour, everything about Motor Home Massacre sucks, the annoying teen character's are awful as is the lame dialogue, there's hardly any exploitation or horror & it's incredibly slow & boring as well. Motor Home Massacre is the sort of film with stupid character's who just make idiotic decisions & are badly realised, Motor Home Massacre is one of those piece of crap films that is literally painful to sit through. I don't know, I really don't because I've sat through a lot of these worthless zero budget shot on a camcorder glorified home film type things & frankly I'm sick of them, sorry rant over.Director Wilbanks hasn't worked on any other film in any other capacity & it show's, the whole thing is just stupid & moronic. The light levels in the sky change between shots, a single fire wouldn't create that much light on it's own, there are obvious continuity problems, there's no scares, there's no atmosphere & only a few shoddy gore scenes. There's a guy with the skin peeled off his back exposing his spine, someone is stabbed in the stomach, someone is trapped in a tent & stabbed with a spear, there's a severed arm & a rubbishy looking decapitated head. It all looks very poor & cheap though.Technically Motor Home Massacre is basic to say the least, it has not style or visual interest whatsoever. There's nothing here that particularly impresses & it looks every bit like the low budget piece of crap that it is. The rubbishy loud music annoyed me too. The acting is predictably terrible & a certain cast member should have the word 'murderer' tattooed on their forehead they make it so obvious...Motor Home Massacre is crap, it's as simple & straight forward as that & if you can find one single person to say anything good about it I'd be very surprised. I hated it, enough said.

I expected nothing from this film other than a way to help me recover from my three-day 35th birthday celebrating, a day I spent watching films in bed. I expected even less from it once that horrible "I'm a trucker" main titles song was played. The Roger character was the worst of the bunch for he was so over-the-top obnoxious and revolting that he'd not be anyone's polar-opposite friend at their age. Therefore, the very set up that these "types" (wigger, sexist pig, dweeb) would be still be friends as adults is ridiculous.You have to understand that this is actually a comedy, which became evident once the dweeb fantasizes that when the girl in bed slowly, teasingly lowers the bed sheet, she reveals not her breasts but a report card featuring two A+'s.However, it's a very trying film to sit through. I think I stopped it at one point to check e-mail. Even for low-budget, there are scenes which are just so stupid they're not even bad-enjoyable. Case in point: the convenience store scene. This seemed written by two 14-year-olds. Dreadful. And note how the owner tells them how there was a murder "last night" and concludes his tale by stating that "they never found out who did it." Ah, speed investigations...In fact, I'd be surprised if the script HADn't been written by various persons for there seemed to be different styles of writing. In contrast, a tied-up-in-bed scene produces an amusing conversation during the fishing-out of a pocket knife from the male's pants.Justin Geer, who played the dweeb, was fun to watch, for he actually can act. Tanya Fraser, the black girl whom is twice befriended, was good, and game even when being referred to as "tar baby." She has a very funny scene later in the film involving one of the blondes and a frying pan.The film gets better, in its bad-self way, as it nears its conclusion for it becomes simply ludicrous and over-the-top. (If one wishes to be let in to the RV before it drives away, perhaps going to the FRONT of the RV where, you know, the WINDSHIELD is, is better than pounding on the back of it.) It's played as a joke by the remaining cast, and if you're drinking and/or toking with friends, you'll chuckle. This is simply a film one cannot take seriously as horror or as a full-on comedy, but I find myself liking it, in a limited way. I'd watch it again with friends on "Bad Movie Night," but skip past certain scenes.