Wonderful character development!

Did you people see the same film I saw?

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

As soon as I saw Cameron's Mitchell's name in the cast list, I knew this movie would stink. If that guy ever did a good film, I've yet to see it. And yet, he's the best thing MEMORIAL VALLEY MASSACRE has to offer.Made at the tail end of the slasher-movie craze, this "Friday the 13th" retread is about a newly-opened campground terrorized by a serial killer—in this case, a feral teen-ager with gag teeth, a New York Dolls wig, and a Party Express caveman suit. Seems the kid was lost in the woods years ago during a botched ransom drop and doesn't want obnoxious campers despoiling his home. Can't say I blame him.The basic tenets of a slasher flick are here: remote location; lousy acting; shallow, obnoxious characters; killings that eschew feasibility; an authority figure (a park ranger named George) who wants the murders kept quiet; the young idealist (David, the owner's son) who defies him; a main character with a link to the killer; a tie-in with a holiday (in this case, Memorial Day); and plenty of room for a sequel. What it lacks are the scares and suspense of the genre's better films. We learn the killer's motives and identity way too soon, and the killings are light on the gore. There's also no nudity unless you count the wet T-shirt dance that a shapely lass performs in the rain. Is it really a slasher film without gratuitous nudity and gore?Some say this film is "so bad, it's good." I disagree; it's just bad.Item: The movie's tagline reads, "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the tent…."Item: Early in the film, George pulls a dead dog up from deep in the camp's well. There are two ropes tied around the animal. It's never explained how they came to be tied to the dog's submerged carcass.Item: After George spends the first 15 minutes of the film insulting and berating David, he tells the kid, "It's nothing personal."Item: William Smith appears as a retired Brigadier General who is camping in a soundproofed Winnebago. He never leaves the mobile home, which makes me wonder what he's doing in the woods to begin with. The character also has no bearing on the storyline, which makes me think someone involved with the film owed Smith a favor.Item: The overly-dramatic score attempts (unsuccessfully) to elicit tension the film itself lacks.

Late entry in the slasher/teen campground genre is better than the low viewer ratings would indicate, as long as one isn't looking for a straight-up horror flick.Campground owner Cameron Mitchell envisions the grand opening of Memorial Valley Campground as the opening salvo in his attempt to create a kind of resort destination that will lines his pockets with a lot of $$$$. However, a madman (or should I say "mad caveman"?) who lives on the campground has other plans.With a full crew of potential victims at hand, this movie doesn't take itself seriously and the pacing is actually fairly deft. There are slayings galore in the latter part of the film and countless moments of hysteria and humor via the acting and script.I found myself laughing but totally involved in the film and as long as one's expectations aren't too high, this film is a good diversion from the usual 80s slasher fare, and there are some memorable characters among the expected clichés.

I think the makers of "Memorial Valley Massacre" may have been trying to capture the heyday of the slasher film even as the genre was on its last legs. Squeaky-voiced fat kid? Check! Slutty Girl? Check! Cameron Mitchell? Check! I'm just still not sure if they meant it to be a comedy or not.Plotwise, we've got people at a campground and some murders. But there IS a discussion about torrential rain that won't let up, even when it's obviously bone dry. It also becomes Memorial Day at 5am too. That reminded me of Slaughter High, where April Fool's day ends at noon. MVM has a decent body count but no real gore (at least in the version I have). And it seems to go on forever, even with a mere 90-minute runtime. Absolutely awful.

If we are going to stack movies against each other, this is the best I can do. I don't know if this the biggest wastes of time I've ever used, but it ranks up there. We have a pack of rednecks and "bad kids" staying at a dumb looking campground. Running around is a guy who apparently knows how to make clothes out of animal skins, but can't help breaking the necks and backs of the campers. The principle characters are campy and stupid, as are the people running the camp. It's just that there is no effort to make things even remotely interesting. There is a wet t-shirt, some biker talk, and some kids harrassing the stupidist looking people on the face of the earth. I knew I was in trouble when the title came on from the right. As if someone had an overhead projecter and put it over the film, already in progress. Sometimes I have fun with these silly rip off movies. This one was just horrible.