Sorry, this movie sucks

Bad Acting and worse Bad Screenplay

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

I saw the trailer for this film, and it did look like it could be a funny film, and it was described as being something for The Inbetweeners audience, so I was kind of surprised to see the lowest of low ratings, from director Andy De Emmony (Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!). Basically summer has begun just after school is over for the students in the town of Rainmouth, the dead-end seaside town; some of the students include a group of teenage friends, Jamie (Eragon's Ed Speleers), Kev (Luke Pasqualino), Bruno (Robin Morrissey) and Spike (Daniel Kendrick). Jamie is bored to hell and forced into working for his pothead mother Natalie (Kierston Wareing) at her B&B, while the other guys seem happy working in the pie factory, but they are concentrating more on trying to get sex. Desperate to get out there, and when he gets the chance to every so often, Jamie is out on their nights as well, and at a party he meets beautiful, smart and sexy Juliana (Piranha 3D's Jessica Szohr) from America, but soon after her arrival strange things are happening in the village. This includes many teenagers going missing, and there is rumour of a werewolf in the town, and it is revealed that those missing teens were virgins, and the beast is only hunting for virgin flesh, Sid (Timothy Spall) seems to be the one hunting it. The assumed werewolf hunter is staying at the B&B, and warns Jamie about the werewolf, that he should stay away from Juliana, who Jamie is smitten with, and that he should lose his virginity as soon as possible. For a while he ignores this advice and continues to try and get closer to his new love interest, she does like him very much, but at times seems to try and avoid him for some reason, and eventually he and his friends realise the werewolf threat is true, and that they should pop their cherry quickly to stay safe. Thinking that Juliana may not have any feelings for him, and then later believing Sid's theory that she is the beast, Jamie tries to have sex with the person who has been begging him to shag her, fat and unpleasant Alicia (Rosie Sansom), but he doesn't go ahead with this, and he fails other attempts with some other girls. It turns out the American love interest is not the werewolf, she is in fact a werewolf hunter who provides the service of taking the virginity from people so they will be safe from the danger, but knowing that she has to save lives she cannot give into any feelings she may or may not have for anyone. In the end the werewolf kills Sid who attempts to end the terror, it is cornered and killed by Jamie with a silver spiked arrow, and he finally embraces his feelings with Juliana who is also smitten with him, so he loses his virginity as well with the woman he loves. Also starring Robert Pugh as Sergent Rooney, Imogen Toner as Mandy and Paul Birchard as Reverend Lynch. I agree with the critics that the first half of the film is pretty dreadful with the immature and crude material, a few scenes in the second half has the more material that could have made the film worthwhile, the concept was good sounding, it's just the execution, there wasn't much that made me laugh, and it was not thrilling either, it is a disappointingly terrible British comedy horror. Pretty poor!

Rainborough-on-sea is a down-at-heel English seaside resort, home to Jamie (Ed Speleers) and his friends. Jamie is a likable, normal sort of lad, a good looking virgin who lives at home in his slutty mother's guest house. His friends are witless, charmless, graceless losers. Into Jamie's life comes the gorgeous Juliana (Jessica Szohr), an American roving reporter for a travel website (you can tell she's gorgeous because she frequently walks in slow motion). A mutual interest develops, but Juliana appears to be the target of suspicions from the strange new resident at the guest house, Sid (Timothy Spall). And locals start disappearing whenever the moon is full....This sounded promising and the trailer had a couple of good gags, so I was hopeful that we would end up with a British horror/comedy to rival An American Werewolf In London, particularly after the dud that was Lesbian Vampire Killers. Plus, after Eragon, Ed Speelers could do with something to establish a bit of credibility.Alas, both our hopes were dashed. Admittedly, they got some stuff right. The atmosphere of a British seaside resort well past its prime is conveyed effectively (I live in one such place and Clacton is another, doing a good job of looking fairly unattractive to holidaymakers - being filmed out of season also contributes here, too). Speleers is personable, Szohr is hot enough to sizzle, and there are one or two directorial flourishes which are pleasing. That's about it, though.Now let's look at what is wrong. One, the 3 lads are simply awful (and the film knows they are awful because it has Jamie remark on that fact more than once). Two, the film is inhabited by a deeply unpleasant female equivalent of the other 3 lads: equally crude and crass and, as written, devoid of any sense of reality. Three, there is a police sergeant who is completely unbelievable. Four, the usually reliable Timothy Spall plays his character broad instead of straight, which removes any possibility that he might come across as amusing. Five, all attempts at humour falls flat - this film is not even slightly funny. Six, the film is not only not funny, it is also not even slightly horrific. Seven, the werewolf reveal, when it comes (you know it's not going to be Juliana because she has been so obviously set up to be the werewolf from the start) is not shown clearly enough for you to be certain who it is. I think it was the police sergeant: if so, that doesn't make sense, because Juliana has been following him around Europe - how can he be a roving werewolf and a resident Plod in some seedy British seaside resort? And, eight, the ending is just horrible - Juliana is infected, so Jamie infects himself, there is a crap animation of two werewolves going at it doggy style, then they go off to America to hunt virgins to feed on. Awful.I do suggest avoiding this one.

I went in with low expectations based on the trailers, but I had no idea it could be this bad. At the least I expected some cheeky British-style jokes. Instead it's just the same joke over and over: Sex.Just in case you're wondering; yes, all the "best" jokes are crammed into the trailer. Sandwiched in between those 4 or 5 decent jokes is an hour and twenty minutes of crude, unintelligent British cinema.The basic plot outline is that four young lads in a seaside town are trying to have sex. That comprises of 70% of the film. The other 20% and 10% is one of said lads trying to start a romance with a free-spirited American and some nonsense about werewolves, respectively. This film is more about sex and contrived romance than it is about werewolves. There's some scrambling around for several of these lads to lose their virginity, either because they feel inadequate or because it will prevent them from being eaten by a werewolf.Most of the characters are walking punchlines to dirty jokes; all of them are defined by their libido and sexual activities. We have an incompetent manager whose son runs her business whilst she has casual sex, there's the porky foul-mouthed lass who's desperate for (huge shock) sex, and there's the self-proclaimed alpha male and only non- virgin (that's important apparently) in the group of lads who, I swear, is the most punchable character I've ever seen in UK film or TV on account of his mind-numbing accent and the fact that he's given an over- abundance of lines to showcase it. And yes, those lines are all about sex.I could go on forever about how unpleasant the film is, but I think that's already clear. I'll try and point out a few positives, where I can:The portrayal of British teenagers is, for better or worse, spot on. Exaggerated for cinema, yes, but the crudeness and stupidity of the characters is something observable in today's culture.The romance plot between two of the characters is an "OK" one when compared to other elements of the film. In a more coherent film it would pass for mediocre, though still contrived.The ending did make me laugh. For a second it almost looked like the ending to a much better comedy. It's a good punchline to an otherwise ugly, drawn-out joke.In conclusion: This film makes trash like American Pie look dignified and intricate. As a comedy it's too crude to be witty even as a mirror to modern British youth culture, and as a horror it's thoroughly unimpressive and melds clumsily with the teenagers-in-British-seaside- town setting. There is nothing redeemable here. Avoid.

Saw this today, and I REALLY wanted to like it. I wasn't expecting much, but I was hoping for a nice surprise. As it was, I came away reasonably satisfied but disappointed in equal measure.Firstly, the comedy. Absolutely DREADFUL. It's like the most obvious attempt at ripping off The Inbetweeners ever (which wasn't exactly cutting edge anyway). In all honesty I could have come up with a better script myself. It was juvenile, sad and basically lazy. I didn't laugh once, and I am no hater of toilet humour.Luckily it was just about saved by the plot, which at the very least kept my attention. Whilst it sounds on paper like a ridiculous spoof of Twilight, it was occasionally captivating and the ending was a satisfying finalé to an otherwise forgettable film.Wooden acting all round with the exception of the excellent Jessica Szohr (who deserves a lot better than this) and of course Timothy Spall, whom I was extremely surprised to see here.In all honesty I don't have much to recommend since it is a cheap rip-off on Inbetweeners and Twilight combined, but it was a nice enough day out and it was at least better than the Keith Lemon Film that I had the misfortune of watching last month.