Dreadfully Boring

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Kick boxer Retaliation.Well I must admit I've seen some ridiculous films in my time but this one takes the biscuit! This movie is so bonkers that I spent the duration of the film with my mouth agape unable to turn it off for fear I may miss more ludicrousness. My mouth actually went dry because I had it open for so long!Because of this you could actually say that this flick is entertaining. I don't know why I found myself unable to turn it off as the acting is terrible, the story (what story?) makes absolutely no sense and the director has no direction.This time Kurt Sloane played by Alain Moussi is kidnapped and carted off back to Thailand and made to fight some dude who is taller than a giraffe on stilts. When he refuses he's thrown into prison for killing Tong Po in the first film. Kurt then proceeds to get tortured before he agrees to baddy Christopher Lambert's terms. Christopher Lambert? Now there's a blast from the past. He still struggles in the acting department sounds like he's losing his voice. Whilst in prison Kurt meets up with old pal Durand played again by Jean Claude Van Damme who also happens to be in there too. Now there's a coincidence? Oh did I mention that JCVD is blind now? Don't ask me why but he is. Even though he still walks about like he can see just fine and his blindness has made even better at the chop socky stuff! Just when you think that the daftness has been piled as high as daftness will go Mike Tyson turns up. Seriously I wanted to turn this off and go to bed but Mike Tyson has a full speaking role. I'm not missing this for all the noodles in Thailand! He can't act but you can tell him that.In all seriousness this film is a bunch of well choreographed but totally far fetched fight scenes strung together with no plot for cohesion. As an added bonus we get rip off scenes from many other movies of the genre but with a bit of nudity thrown in for good measure. The scene with the mirrors from Enter the Dragon is recreated with two half naked girls sporting luminous lipstick! I did mention that this movie is ludicrous!So I made it to the inevitable big fight at the end and boy it doesn't disappoint. Sadly there's no Oscars awaiting this movie but it could win the award for most ridiculous movie fight of all time. The big baddy is played by the really big fella from Game of Thrones. He's so huge he makes Ivan Drago look vertically challenged. Weighing in at 400Ibs and on a cocktail of steroids the character is so strong he punches Kurts wife into a coma. Don't worry fight fans she wakes up a few scenes later with absolutely no side effects. In fact everyone in this movie who gets the stuffing kicked out of them miraculously suffers no bruises or grazes. In the end fight Kurt gets punched, kicked, thrown around and stabbed. He even dies! Yes you read that right. He actually dies and comes back to life before opening a large can of whoop ass on the man mountain.In all my years growing up with straight to video martial arts movies I have never witnessed anything as crazy as this. But for all its silliness it does have a certain charm. It's far from great. Not even average but it does draw you in and holds you there. Problem is I feel a whole lot dumber for watching it. I think I've killed off the last few remaining brain cells I had.

Set one year after the events of Kickboxer: Vengeance, Kurt Sloan has vowed never to return to Thailand.However things change and whilst he is preparing for an MMA title fight, he is drugged and wakes up in a Thailand prison. His captors give him a choice (if you can call it a choice) they want him to face a colossus named Mongkut and in return, Kurt Sloan will get $2million dollars and win his freedom from the prison hell hole..If he doesn't fight then his wife will die at the hands of her captors. With no real choice to make Kurt Sloan has no other choice but to undergo his most rigorous training yet, under some very unexpected mentors, in order to take on this dreaded opponent.Kickboxer:Retaliation is a fantastic addition to the Kickboxer franchise and a great addition to martial art feature films altogether. With great set pieces including a glorious several minute single take that takes place in the prison, the choreography is top notch for this franchise that began life in 1989 with the Jean Claude Van Damme starring hit. With exotic Thailand locations, fiery fight scenes and some stupendous stunt-work, Kickboxer:Retaliation is a no- holds barred-brutal when it needs to be, film featuring some of the mosst athletic and well trained stunt performers since The Raid..I was a little concerned when the plot was set up that the final 'boss fight' between Mongkut would be a blink and you miss it sort of third act set piece, however I was dead wrong.The finale that will make your eyes water and your muscles ache and whilst I didn't have a clock to check to see how long the fight ran for. It definitely seemed to run for a while but never, even for a second becoming tiring to watch.I will confess that I haven't seen Kickboxer:Vengeance however this made virtually no difference to my viewing experience when watching Retaliation and aside from a couple of mentions along the line of 'Oh I haven't seen you since....' This film stands alone just as well as Im sure it stands as part of the running saga.Alain Moussi plays the role of Kurt Sloan wonderfully and is able to show a humanity one moment, and thro someone through a window the next with perfection. Along for the co star list in Kickboxer Retaliation is Mike Tyson as Briggs, who I have to say is fantastic in the role and does get a chance to show that he still has what it takes to put someone lights out super fast. Also joining the films cast is original Kickboxer himself Jean Claude Van Damme (who also appeared in Kickboxer Vengance) however this time, and heres the kicker (no pun intended) He is a blind kickboxer and still a damn fine one at that.

I absolutely love JCVD. He's one of my movie heroes and I'll pay to watch anything he's in... But this one is quite bad. Horrible script with even worse dialogues. You can't help but laugh at some parts. Not even JCVD's charisma, and Tyson's guest appearance can make the almost 2 hours of the movie any less painful.I watched the first Kickboxer when I was a kid and it was one of my favorite movies, so it is quite sad to see the state the franchise is in nowadays. I mean, seriously, the final fight scene?? It is as grotesque as it is unreal haha To sum things up:---- Spoilers ahead ----Kurt is trying to make a name for himself on MMA, gets kidnapped by Plummer's character (horrible acting, by the way), and is forced to fight a Mongkut ("The Mountain" from Game of Thrones) after he punches Kurt's wife into a coma with a punch to the stomach (wtf?!?!? hahaha). Like, absolutely no story, no motive, and oh, Mongkut is supposed to revenge Tong Po for also absolutely no reason! No connection to him what-so-ever. And his "trainer" is a nerdy "scientist" that keeps injecting him with adrenaline shots. Oh lord, what a mess. Please don't waste your time unless you're JCVD huge fan like I am.

None stop martial arts. Great personalities - JCVD, Tyson, Werdum, Ronaldino, Nelson and so many more. But the best is Alain Moussi doing all the fight moves and stunts. One after the other the fight scenes are intelligent and credible. The last 25 minutes is breathtaking. It is a must see for all the action fans.