Touches You

The Worst Film Ever

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Even if you haven't experienced it, I'm sure you can imagine a feeling when you assemble a powerful computer from high-quality components, plug it into power, press the button and ... it does not work. All parts seem to be in place and you have no idea what the problem is. Such an aftertaste this movie left on me. The story is great, perhaps the best so far, but the film wasn't interesting to me. Technically, I have no complaints, everything is well done, but it does not achieve the effect. For some reason, the film simply does not have the strength characteristic of Barker. It's worth seeing for the sake of continuity of the franchise and that's all.5,5/10

This could be called Pinhead in Space or Death of Pinhead or L'Merchant's Revenge. So I put off watching this one as the thought of Pinhead in Space kinda made me feel nauseous, especially after Jason X - sometimes you shouldn't trust your gut or your precognitive intuition; because I missed probably the best Hellraiser film. Oh, that has to be controversial as it only scored 5.1 on IMDb.It's the story that makes this movie. There are three stories for the price of one, to be exact. We start with the pivotal tale of Dr Paul Merchant, a distant relative to the cube's creator Phillip L'Merchant, who is driven to right the wrongs his ancestor loosed upon man and womankind. This tale is set in the far future (making it so we can still have Pinhead stories and movies up until 2127 - 109 years to go...). We then have the tale of Phillip and his role in the release and creation of the Cenobites. It's this story that introduces us to Hell's princess, Angelique, who is a proper daemon and constricted by rules and commandments, more a puppet than a puppeteer. Then the third story is set at the end of the third movie where the building at the climax is built by architect John Merchant. What is so good is the intrinsicalities within the story that leads to a believable final act, tying all four films together to give a credible ending to the saga.At one point in the late '80's and '90's horror was going orbital. There was a spate of Sci-Fi Horror flicks. The one crucial difference here is space being intrinsic to the plot - it's not just the writer going... what now? Oh, I know - Space!It's also nice that Kevin Yagher (who directed under the pseudonym of Alan Smithee) used such different lighting methods to create the most suitable atmospheres. The story of Phillip is more frightening than the rest as it uses firelight and long shadows to enlighten the scenes of debauchery, violence, and bloodletting. Whereas, the modern day of John uses natural light. Yagher uses silhouettes and dark corners well to build up the tension. Then in Paul's future, there's subdued blue electric lighting as there's no natural lighting in a tin-can. This gives the added feeling of coldness and aloneness. Add to this, some nice segues and camera shots and you have a very well crafted film.Add to that the cast, who are all good in their roles. I didn't even realise that all the Merchant's were played by the same actor, Bruce Ramsey, he was that good at giving them different personas. Though Bradley is just as brilliant as Pinhead, as usual, I have to give credit to Valentina Vargas who is superb as Angelique. In the beginning, she appears cool and calculated as she bides her time until she can free herself from the ties that bind her to her puppeteer, Jacques (Scott). Then when she meets Pinhead, taking a place by his side, she's nearly as fear-inducing as he.For the most part, the special effects are on par with the previous movies, though the CGI has gotten better it still looks dated. And why do all robots have to have an element of a human? Why does this 'bot need a terminator steel skull?Though you could watch this one as a stand-alone film, I would at least recommend having watched Hell On Earth, just so you get a feel for the Cenobites, and you know the story behind Merchant's building.

I've seen Hellraiser 2 many times and it was always a shocking good mess. Last time I saw it was last year and it lost some impact but it was still great, probably the best Hellraiser. I've seen the first many years ago and don't remember much, but I remember it was decent. I saw #3 a few days ago, and it's a pile below par crap. It's watchable, and not the worst, but just a steaming pile. #4 is better than #3 but not by much.The best thing about #4 is the backstory of how the box came into being. But it was not handled well. First, there was 3 time periods, 18 century France, maybe just stay in that period. Current time, a mess. And Future, unnecessary. They should have stayed in the 18th century, but then no pinhead. No pinhead would be fine, because I'm getting tired of this so called actor blabbing all this nonsense dialogue, it just turns into a boring mess. Modern time was boring. The future was only there to show some special fx and some gun fights, unnecessary.Best part of the movie was some of the special fx. The story outline was fine. But the story itself sucked. The dialogue, especially Pinhead was just agony, maybe that was the point. How many time do we need to hear stuff like "The pain and agony must be embraced with pleasure" or some such nonsense". Over and over again. The acting was basically same level as the #3, not so good.Rating is a C, or 3 stars at best. Only recommended for completest. This was part of a, 6 movies for $5, Hellraiser III to VIII. I will only recommend this if you want to see all Hellraiser films. Otherwise watch the first and second and call it a day.

The fourth instalment of the already-tired Hellraiser franchise signalled the last time that original creator Clive Barker would be involved, and also the final film of the series to be shown on the big screen, with the subsequent sequels heading straight to VHS or DVD. Doug Bradley, who at this point was the only surviving cast member from Barker's terrific 1987 original, described Hellraiser IV: Bloodline as the "shoot from Hell", and its troubled production saw director Kevin Yagher demand his name be removed from the credits, instead opting for the go-to pseudonym Alan Smithee. While things never looked good for the film, Part IV of Miramax's cult franchise isn't actually quite as bad as you would expect.In 2127, engineer Dr. Paul Merchant (Bruce Ramsay) uses a robot to solve the Lament Configuration puzzle box on board space station The Minos. The opening of the box destroys the robot, and Merchant is taken in for questioning by a group of armed guards suspicious of his intentions. Whilst being interrogated by the groups leader, Rimmer (Christine Harnos), Merchant reveals that he is part of a cursed bloodline that stretches back to 18th-century France, where his ancestor, toy-maker Phillip L'Merchant (also Ramsay), builds the box for a rich aristocrat who desires to summon a slave-girl from Hell. While L'Merchant fails to prevent the demon Angelique (Valentina Vargas) arriving in our world, generations later New York architect John Merchant (Ramsay again) is haunted by visions of the box, building a skyscraper resembling the Lament Configuration.After two sequels with little to recommend other than Kenneth Cranham's wonderfully over-the-top thesping, Bloodline at least attempts to inject a fresh take on the Hellraiser universe. The decision to portray the arrival of Hell on Earth over three vastly different time periods is an interesting one, even if it is somewhat clumsily handled and often poorly acted. Yet for the bulk of the film we are stuck in the less-interesting modern day, or 1996, and it is here that Bloodline suffers from formulaic storytelling. The introduction of the demon Angelique offers the chance for some twisted sexual tension between her and Pinhead (Bradley), yet this isn't explored enough, and ultimately fizzles out in favour of more time with the over-exposed, iconic Cenobite, whose role was significantly beefed up by the studio following Yagher's departure. It's certainly one of the best of the series' sequels, yet given how bad the movies that followed are, that's hardly saying much.