Undescribable Perfection

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

This is an action flick starring Steven Seagal as Mason Storm, who was left for dead by gangsters who killed his wife. He awakens from a coma seven years later and goes on mission to avenge his wife's death and bring those who wish him and his son harm to justice.It sounds like a cliché plot for an action movie, but it does have a pretty suspenseful storyline, from Mason trying to fake his own death to hide from the bad guys to the involvement of a corrupt U.S. senator. The acting was fine for the most part, but I just thought some of the bad guys were a little too overzealous and the female lead, Kelly LeBrock, had some OK chemistry with Seagal, but just seemed a little emotionless. Seagal also seemed a little stoic, but the highlight of his characters was his awesome martial arts skills - great seeing him grapple around with the villains.Overall, it's a pretty good action-flick. Lots of excitement and edge-of-your-seat adrenaline.Grade B

No matter what your opinion of Steven Seagal's acting abilities or the kinds of material he's ground out, you have to admit he has certain advantages over the rest of us that go beyond martial skills. For instance, in this story of revenge against a corrupt politician and his dozens of goons, Seagal is shot at the beginning and spends seven years in a coma, wrapped up in hospital sheets, sustained by various tubes and mysterious devices that beep and blink on and off.Yet, consider that he suddenly wakes up after seven years in a hospital bed and still sports the rufous bronze of his earlier physical incarnation. And one would think Seagal would be overdrawn at the memory bank but instead he remembers EVERYTHING that put him there. None of this "Where am I?" crap.I asked myself, "Self, how is it possible for a man to remain brain damaged and comatose and still recover his memory and his motor skills in no time at all?" But all I got back was a lot of gibberish about Wallerian degeneration and nodes of Ranvier and extra-pyramidal this and that, so I gave up trying to make sense of it.Is it really necessary to spell out more of the plot? Seagal wakes up remembering where he's hidden some evidence that will convict a current senator of fraud, extortion, autosexuality, mopery in the first degree, and wearing white after Labor Day.The rest of the film takes us through Seagal's attempt to recover the evidence and the senator's thugs trying to prevent him from recovering the evidence. To observe that, along the way, there is some violence is like saying that a skin flick contains some pornography. Not to worry, though. Yes, a good friend dies and his wife is shot to pieces but nobody touches Seagal. Seagal, unarmed, is involved with three knife fights on independent occasions. Well, two knife fights really, because the last one involves a Chinese chef's knife that looks more like a meat cleaver. Of the dozens of dead and maimed bodies that Seagal's passage through the film generates, exactly 34.2 percent are thrown through glass windows. I counted.The villainous senator's campaign slogan is, "You can take that to the bank." At one point, Seagal mutters to himself, "I'm going to take YOU to the bank, senator -- the BLOOD BANK." Yet, for all the wisecracks amid the mayhem, it's a thought-provoking story. The thought it provokes is: "Dear God, don't ever let Steven Seagal get mad at me."

There is some good stuff here. But we do need more Seagal action. The best thing is maybe the super hot Kelly LeBrock as a nurse. Can we get a sponge bath? Steven does some Eastern Medicine stuff, does some fighting, and you know.... Seagal needs to expand his acting skills. Or else they need to cover the bad acting with a funny sidekick or a lot of big action. At least they got LeBrock as a distraction.Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) films Senator Vernon Trent (William Sadler) in a compromising dockside conversation to corrupt cops. Then they come after him. His wife was killed, and they think they killed him, too. Unknown to them, he was only in a Coma. Seven years later, he comes out of the coma, and the senator comes after him again. Nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock) is caught in the gunfight, and she helps Mason escape the hospital. This time, Mason need to take down the senator once and for all.

It's hard to figure out how Steven Seagal ever became an action star. In my opinion, he never had the best body figure to move. I know he was trained in Aikido, but his fighting style is so slow and pain taking awkwardly choreograph. Don't get me wrong, I know he can probably fight, and kick my butt if he wanted to, but in his prime was run of the mill in martial arts ability at best. He is no Jackie Chan, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, or Jet Li at his best. Hard to Kill is just awful movie. This movie is bloody horrible. You can take that to the bank! The blood bank! The plot goes like this, a bunch of criminals put Steven Segal's character Mason Storm into a coma when they mistake him for death after attacking him at a house invasion. The reason for this was because Mason Storm was a Los Angeles police detective who was investigating the mob meeting with corrupt government figures like Senator Vernon Trent (William Sadler) and few dirty cops with a video camera and audio tapes. First off, with a name like Mason Storm, its sounds like a porn star rather than a cop. When you add the silly ponytail, and the voyeurism like feel, he really does look like a weirdo pornstar. Lt. O'Malley (Frederick D. Coffin) sees that Storm isn't death, so they decide to hide Storm under another name so the mob wouldn't find him. O'Malley also found the tape that Storm has hidden in his house. Mason Storm hid the video camera in the fridge. Apparently, putting exposed negatives film in a freezer is a good way to preserve them. Sure, good luck, trying to develop that! If O'Malley found the tape, why didn't he use it against the senator and the dirty cops? Instead of using it against the senator, O'Malley kept it lock up with him, until that one day Mason Storm wakes up. Anyways, Mason Storms does wake up, after seven years, and the mob sent somebody to kill him. If the criminals knew he was in a coma, how come they didn't kill him off while he was asleep? This movie doesn't make any sense. What comes next is the stupidest idea ever. A coma patient out running a healthy man with a gun, is beyond me. Seriously dumb. Since escaping the hospital, he was forced to hide in his nurse's Andy (Kelly LeBrock) friend's house until he can heal enough to take his revenge on Trent and the mob. The training montage is just silly. I've always found hilarious how he tries to pay homage to Asian culture in each and every of his movies. He probably wish he was Asian himself. If only it wasn't misused and over the top. In the montage, its way over the top. In no way is Steven Segal even in top shape even if he didn't came out of a Coma. Mason Storm even screws Kelly LeRock pretty soon at finding his wife is dead. Who knew, that after seven years in Coma, your body isn't going to end up like jelly, but you end up being strong enough to get back into action, and have sexual intercourse in only 7 days. Well, the movie has the same plot that every Steven Segal has. So it's not that new in the action movie field. Still, why is there a pointless action scene at the robbery at the liquor store that has nothing to do with the rest of the plot? How come, there is a mat there, while he is breaking the foot of the Latino gang leader? Another thing, how do punch one of the criminals in the front of his gangs and nobody notice it in the beginning of the film? Or the police that didn't notice a gun behind the back of a criminal dress up as a doctor when facing his back? The movie is so full of cheesy one liners. It's insane. I love how he delivers the blood bank line to an empty room. Who does that? The late Bruce Malmouth wasn't a particularly strong director and it really shows with those stupid shots. The acting is mediocre. Seagal's then-wife Kelly LeBrock doesn't add anything new. Just awkward saxophone music in the love scenes. Still, there was okay score by David Michael Frank. Overall: Like most Steven Seagal movies, it's a little overdone, a little unbelievable, you know what you're getting yourself into. A B-List action film. So don't hold your breath out thinking it will be awesome.