This is How Movies Should Be Made

Good concept, poorly executed.

From my favorite movies..

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

A typically incomprehensible Italian sleaze epic, made on a shoestring budget and squarely aimed at the exploitation market with its offerings of graphic gore and copious female nudity. Although it's not consistently entertaining enough to be considered a so-bad-it's-good delight, FRANKENSTEIN '80 does contain its fair share of delirious delights which stop it from becoming totally unwatchable. These include a cheesy script full of overly serious dialogue; amusingly bad acting from Xiro Papas as the monster, Mosaic; overblown scenes of action; and some bad-taste moments in which the creature goes around raping prostitutes and innocent girls. The film's highlight has to be the moment in which Mosaic breaks into an abattoir and beats a girl to death with a bone (!) before stripping her corpse and having his wicked way with her - it's that kind of movie.The strung-together plot sees the Frankenstein tale updated to the "then" slightly futuristic setting of 1980 where Dr. Otto Frankenstein continues his medical experiments. The first thing to notice is that the good doctor is played by peplum legend Gordon Mitchell, bizarrely decked out in Victorian attire whilst everyone else wears bad '70s gear! Mitchell can always be relied upon to deliver a solid performance and his appearance here is no exception, although sadly his character does get bumped off about halfway through the film, leaving the monster to go on a low-budget rampage of terror through the countryside with nobody to hold him back.The story goes that bearded scientist Professor Schwarz has developed a serum which can help to bond organs into new bodies (an idea later used in the horror smash hit RE-ANIMATOR). Just as dashing hero Karl Schein is about to have the serum used on his sister, undergoing a heart transplant, Frankenstein steals it and his sister dies, leaving Schein understandably peeved and embarking on a personal investigation to find his sister's murderer.The leading role of Schein is played by the omnipotent John Richardson, who gained fame with his appearance in ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. before appearing in all kinds of trashy Italian horror films (mainly gialli) in the '70s. Aside from his silly haircut, there's little memorable about his performance here and he doesn't actually achieve much despite his investigations. The film also includes a police investigation into the murders which is lethargic ever, but at least it is presided over by the short-tempered Inspector Schneider, who gets some great ranting when one of his officers spells his name wrong in his report! Many scenes in the film involve Mosaic going around and offing a series of young, attractive women, with the rape angle added on to give the film an even sleazier atmosphere. There are also the standard "operating room" procedures in which the camera is held as close as possible to some sloppy organs and blood-covered hands. The string of murders that the monster commits are slapdash and brutal and almost always involve bright red blood being smeared over a clean white wall to emphasise the carnage. As for Mosaic, his physical inspiration seems to be the creature played by Freddie Jones in Hammer's FRANKENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED, and the actor playing him is the bushy-eyebrowed Xiro Papas, a specialist in such areas - he would later play another sexual sadist in THE BEAST IN HEAT.Don't expect any characterisation of the monster; he's simply a rampaging brute, a creature of destruction with murder in mind. The over-the-top ending, in which Mosaic's organs fail in an unforgettable display of fake blood and bad acting, is the stuff B-movie fan's dreams are made of. In most respects this is a poorly-made movie but that just adds to the charm; FRANKENSTEIN movies don't get any cheaper, gorier or sleazier than this brain-addled Italo entry.

Sometimes you need a film like this: plenty of gore, some boobs, no pretensions whatsoever, stupid ending. Frankenstien '80 (why the '80?) sets out to entertain your brain stem and nothing else, and succeeds admirably. Those seeking a more cerebral film or even a film with any redeeming qualities whatsoever should probably avoid this one. It's amazing how much time you save in your Frankenstien movie if the monster in question is already up and rampaging when the film starts. There's no scrambling about for body parts here. When the film starts, the monster's out getting his own body parts! That's a nice pro-active approach, you've got to admit, but his creator, Gordon 'Frankenstien' Mitchell, doesn't really agree with this activity. His method is much better – he steals body parts from corpses in his morgue at the hospital, and takes them to his secret laboratory, hidden behind a book shelf in the morgue. Also, he's just stolen a serum from a surgeon that might stop his monster rejecting all those body parts.Gordon's in a bit of trouble, mind. That serum was intended for the sister of a nosey reporter who was lined up for a heart transplant, and now she's dead, the cops are all over the place, and the reporter is on his trail! Add to that the unintended results of a knacker transplant on the monster (a knacker transplant! Brilliant!) and you've got a good set up for a horny guy who looks like a zombified Mussolini to go on a guts and boobs fest. You've got the monster trying it on with some hookers, the monster trying it on with a stripper, and the monster trying it on with his creator's daughter. Stupid? Awww yeah. Great? You bet!Featuring gut fondling, heads in fridges, a strip tease act, Gordon Mitchell's face and a rather unwholesome tone about the film that you only find in Italian cinema. Love that abrupt ending too!

I was only vaguely familiar with this title starring "Euro-Cult" stalwart (and former muscle-man) Gordon Mitchell – especially since I had already watched him dealing with this popular horror figure (albeit in a supporting part and with its original Gothic setting intact) in the notoriously bad FRANKENSTEIN'S CASTLE OF FREAKS (1974)! Anyway, I actually found this – at the proverbial eleventh hour – on "You Tube" in time for a mini-Frankenstein marathon which I have just concluded. Interestingly, this forms the middle part of an unrelated trilogy (also because they emanated from different countries!) involving the Mary Shelley creation – all of which tried to bring the monster into our modern age (with varying degrees of success) by appending a future decade to the name: hence the American FRANKENSTEIN – 1970 was made in 1958(!), the Italian film under review precedes the inferred date by 8 years, while that for the 1990s (whose viewing came hard on the heels of this one) emerged from France in 1984!Truth be told, the lowly rating for this one is not indicative of the lack of ideas put on the table along the way but rather the extremely dull handling (the dreary cheapo look does not help), indifferent performances (the other familiar face here was that of hero John Richardson) and a thoroughly listless pace (the reasons for which are given later on)! In fact, this is the first rendition of the much-filmed tale where the monster's grafts are rejected and are, therefore, in constant need of replenishment (a' la EYES WITHOUT A FACE [1960]), as well as one of only a few that address his libido (making him something of a Jack The Ripper-like serial killer!)…though, in all probability, this was done in order to up the sex'n'gore ante (cue an awful lot of padding throughout)!Incidentally, I suspect that the makers of this film were inspired by the recently-watched FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) – since Mitchell here is the assistant of a clinic director, whose precious fluid he steals for his own ends via the experiments he conducts inside a secret lab (that connects to both his office and his home)! By the way, it felt not a little awkward to have no one bat an eyelid at the mention of his name (which he did not even bother to hide as in that earlier picture)! In the end, creature turns on creator, hero saves (and hitches up with) Frankenstein's niece, the monster then expires bloodily from a fried brain…and, for no very good reason, we close on a shot of the Police Chief finally getting his self-negated nicotine fix at long last!

What a bunch of hooey! There are so many plot holes that one could write a book. I loved that there was big bottle in the refrigerator with the secret serum used to help in transplant surgeries. Then there is some of the worst acting that can be imagined. The characters deliver their lines and wait a half second for the next person to respond. Did anyone notice that the doctor's name was Frankenstein? There is lots of gratuitous sex and violence. It gets pretty bad. I guess old Dr. F. should have left one part out of the mix. The monster is quite formidable, I can give you that.Two of the strangest parts are the police and the the hero. The police are a bunch of idiots who are more concerned that they can't smoke until the case is closed. The guy who plays the lead is spookier than the monster. He has that real 80's look and wears a funny little hat when he is out and about. This has a few moments of violence that keep one interested, but beyond that, it's just not very good.