Too much of everything

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

Pretty terrible stuff. A caveman giant in the desert wilderness, surviving into the modern age due to an abundance of sulphur in his cave habitat, does...what? Scares a local girl, kidnaps her and her father, and then they just hang out. He does get a mean streak going when they try to escape, but there's no sci-fi involved; he's acts like just another rustic nut. His mummified ancestors are the scary presence. Maybe the sulphur water could've been put to better use by somehow reanimating them. There aren't really any memorable performances here. Richard Kiel is kind of a cool caveman. His better scenes occur when he makes his way to town; "Large man or giant creating disturbance" as the police dispatcher aptly puts it. The scene with the drunk is a good bit: he admits he's got to be pretty messed-up to see the likes of a 7'2" caveman. Eegah also makes a splash at the club; plus its buffet line has he-man portions.It might've been better to explore the comic possibilities of his fish-out-if-water situation. Instead that aspect is just hinted at. Given the more or less serious role he has, Eegah needs some menacing quality: a hideous mutation, possessing some superpower, something more. As big as he is, he's not even that convincing as a giant. James Arness was half a foot shorter than Kiel (ok, probably the same height with his elevator shoes), but was a frightening presence in The Thing. The only scene where Kiel truly looks gigantic is in his first appearance, where he's juxtaposed to Roxy, in her diminutive 'bug-eyed' Sprite. His relative normality increases after he's shaved. When townspeople freak out at his appearance, it's probably at least as much because of his obvious primitivism, than because of his size.It doesn't help that the owl-faced Tom has no charisma. The blending of rocking-and-rolling teens with monsters in 50s-60s sci-fi is infinitely better-handled in The Giant Gila Monster and The Blob. The lead in Gila Monster actually plays a cool character who can sing; Tom's a wannabee.In fact Eegah is a wannabee movie: it's got invited to the sci-fi party, but just couldn't swing.

"Eegah" is probably one of those movies that had a few gems under piles of rubble. The overall story of Eegah sounds like that of Nephilim and I instantly loved it because of that. However, a great story hook (at least for me) can't just dangle in the background which is pretty much what happened here. With all the really terrible scenes of random dune buggy'ing, ugh music, uncomfortable exchanges between the "father and daughter"... Far too much clutter, basically. I'm not going to lie, I'm a bias Richard Kiel fan and I had such a huge crush on him ever since I first watched this movie (I was about 13-14) and Jaws?! He's just too amazing. Which I think was the only redeeming quality of this stinker. Despite my complaining, I think leaving Eegah's background (well, all information really) a mystery was a pretty decent way to go. Though there were many, many....many! parts of the movie that were just unwatchable, the underlying main plot and Kiel struck my heart. (Reasoning for really generous rating.)

It took three attempts to get through this one. That's not a good sign. First time round I thought 'this looks like a slow one' and set it aside to watch during the day. Then I get round to watching it during the day and fall asleep after half an hour! Arch Hall Jnr and his girlfriend Becky (I think), are to meet up somewhere or other so that Becky can show off her new bikini. Arch works at a petrol station and feels the need to gibber on to customers about this, while spilling gasoline everywhere. Then he apologises about that and starts rabbiting on again. The customer in this scene also appears to be drinking a beer. By-gone days indeed.Becky's driving along and manages to knock down a massive caveman played by Richard Kiel (we've all got to start somewhere I guess). She freaks out and the caveman runs off. Arch and her dad don't believe a word of it, but then decide to go out to shadow mountain to track down the caveman.This is where we run into Beast of Yucca Flats territory and the film becomes boring to the point of pain. Dad gets captured by Eegah. The kids run around looking for him. Becky gets kidnapped by Eegah. The viewer gets bored. Arch runs around looking for him. Becky and Dad try and communicate with Eegah. The viewer falls asleep. Becky teaches Eegah how to shave (no, really!). Eegah draws a picture of her. The viewer slips dangerously into a coma.If you're reading this at all then you've heard this film is one of them 'so bad it's good' bad movies. It's not. Robo Vampire is a so bad it's good film. Eegah is just boring. Even the chase through the desert is boring. It only picks up in the last ten minutes when Eegah arrives in town looking for Becky. Arch Hall Jnr gets some musical numbers in which isn't too bad.The worst thing about this is that it was made by the same folks that made The Sadist! Now that's a good film! See that one instead and avoid this one.

The film I chose to review for Le bad cinema is Eegah which stars Arch Hall Jr., Arch Hall Sr., Marilyn Manning, and Richard Kiel. This movie is the story of a couple of teenagers that stumble upon a giant caveman in the desert and have various encounters with him throughout the film. At the beginning, Roxy Miller (Marilyn Manning) is driving down the road in the desert and almost crashes into Eegah (Richard Kiel). She gets away and tells her boyfriend Tom Nelson (Arch Hall, Jr.), and her father Robert Miller (Arch Hall, Sr.) about her crazy encounter with the cave man. Her father gets the bright idea to venture off into the desert alone to try and get a photo of Eegah. He then arranges to have a helicopter drop him off in the desert then come back to get him at a certain time.Tom and Roxy begin to worry because Mr. Miller has not yet returned so they take Tom's dune buggy out to look for him. Eegah kidnaps Roxy and takes her to his cave. This is where we see the traditional "monster carrying the girl" scene. Once inside the cave Roxy finds her father alive but with a hurt arm. It becomes apparent that Eegah is attracted to Roxy and her father pretty much just tells her to keep him distracted and to give him what he wants so that he doesn't kill the both of them. I found this part of the film actually quite priceless. Eegah leaves the cave for a short while but blocks the door so that Roxy nor her father can escape. Roxy then decides to give her father a shave to help him feel better. When Eegah comes back he notices Roxy shaving her father and decides he wants one too. Tom finally makes it to the cave and helps his girlfriend and her father escape the mighty Eegah with his trusty dune buggy.It takes them a while to finally get out of the desert because they keep getting turned around as Eegah continues to chase after them in hopes of getting Roxy back. Eegah follows them all the way back to civilization. He ends up on a small rampage at the party where Roxy and Tom are. The cops are called and when they arrive they unload their pistols on Eegah and shoot him to death causing his body to fall into the swimming pool. At this same moment Mr. Miller quotes some sort of bible verse that just wasn't even necessary to be in the film.This film was made very low budget and even though it wasn't that great I enjoyed the story line and got a few laughs out of how badly made the film actually was. During the cave scene it's quite obvious that the insides of the cave walls are made out of some sort of cloth resembling thick sheets. Overall I would recommend this film for other people to watch if they've got nothing better to do. It's literally so bad it's funny. Watching this film on the episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 made it even funnier.