As Good As It Gets

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

In all fairness, the title of this review should've been 'E.T. with a Cyborg,' but since this film is a cheap-o Italian production that even uses some of the same dub-voice actors from the 'E.T.' ripoff 'Pod People,' I figured that comparison would be more appropriate.Regardless, that isn't to say the film is awful. It isn't. Based on the cover art and posters I saw online, I figured I was in for another bizarre Italian action flick with Frank Zagarino playing an unstoppable cyborg in the lead. However, the biggest surprise for me was that this is, in fact, NOT AN ACTION MOVIE. It's more of a light-hearted kid's film with very little action (though the violence would probably be a bit much for kids).Basically, we have a young boy finding an escaped cyborg as he flees his government creators, and the boy decides to take him in. (The boy's dubbed voice is - I believe - the same actor/actress who voiced Tommy in 'Pod People' coincidentally.) Along with the boy's older sister, they teach the cyborg what it is to be human and help him start a new life away from corrupt government agents. Henry Silva plays the main bad guy. I loved him in 'Above the Law' so it was fun to see him in something else.There is a bit of a shoot-em-up ending, but it's nothing special. Other than that, the film was largely forgettable. EXCEPT FOR-- The ending. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I WAS NOT expecting the ending we were given. It truly was... Well... Touching and endearing. No joke. I found myself strangely moved (and surprised) that "this type" of film could find such a sincere note to end on.While 'Cy-Warrior' is by no means a classic, it's worth checking out if you're into the genre.

The downfall of the great Italian cult cinema was largely caused by an endless stream of hopelessly inept Sci-Fi/action flicks during the second half of the 1980s. These were shameless imitations of blockbuster hits like "The Terminator", "Blade Runner", "Robocop", "Rambo" or "Predator", but unlike during the seventies or early eighties, the Italians somehow became uninspired, lazy and exaggeratedly amateurish so that their once glorious rip-offs suddenly became pathetic low-budget flicks that almost were almost instantly exiled to the lowest shelves of insolvent video stores! True story, I assure you, and "CY Warrior" is the prototypic example of this sad trend. This was supposed to be a fun and exhilarating "The Terminator/Robocop" rip-off, but due to the imbecilic script and unimaginably clumsy post-production work, it turned out to be a B- movie disaster that even soiled the career of the great Henry Silva. Blond poster boy Frank Zagarino stars as a hi-tech and secretly developed cyborg that escapes from his freezer on a military research vessel. The US government promptly sends out a team of soldiers to destroy him, led by the sadist Hammer (Silva) who doesn't mind using heavy artillery in places crowded with innocent civilians and making lots of collateral damage. The incredibly annoying teenage kid Brandon discovers the wounded cyborg in the woods and takes it back home to his 18-year- old sister Susan. Instead of wondering what the hell a cyborg is doing in their living room, they teach him how to eat hamburgers (by the way, this has got to be the single most retarded sequence of the entire eighties), how to shop for ugly clothes and – of course – how to dance! The girl naturally also falls more or less in love with the cyborg and repeatedly states that she – and I quote – "keeps forgetting that he isn't a real human being". Personally, I find that rather impossible to believe, especially since the cyborg makes a conspicuous mechanical noise every single time he turns his head. So, we are to believe that he is a state-of-the-art piece of intelligent engineering whose stomach is even adapted to processing actual food, but somehow they can't make his head move in silence. Meanwhile, Henry Silva keeps annihilating innocent bystanders and shouting "I don't give a good God damn!" The shootout sequences are pretty tame and there's a shortage of gore, with the exception of a blatant imitation of a famous "Terminator" scene where the cyborg fixes the burning wounds on its own face. Writer/director Giannetto De Rossi delivered fantastic work as principal make-up artist for the films of Lucio Fulci ("The Beyond", "Zombie 2") and other acclaimed horror directors, but perhaps he shouldn't have moved to the director's chair himself. In short, if you're looking for a B-movie disaster with laughable stunts, horrendous English dubbing and an absolutely retarded melodramatic climax, I highly recommend "CY Warrior".

Oh dear, here's part of his Curriculum Vitae that action man, Frank Zagarino would probably rather omit. This is your typical, android learns humanity whilst being hunted by his makers type affair (an idea in fact, that was much better implemented in the later film Solo, starring Mario Van Peebles).Sadly, this suffers horribly from a poor dub, lacklustre action sequences and a particularly sloppy and frankly embarrassing, childish story concerning an annoyingly (overdubbed) voiced, wide eyed kid who befriends our hero.Henry Silva joins the cast as, yes you've guess it, the main villain of the piece who has a propensity to utter such lines as 'I don't give a good Goddam!' and 'You son of a bitch!' with some frequency.In all honesty the only highlight on offer in this, is actually the surprisingly poignant ending which is, against all probability, handled with some not inconsiderable visual flare and emotional pathos.Oh well, you can't win 'em all I guess.

Here to you, bad movies' fans, no matter how long and how hard you keep trying for a sillier, more laughable and/or irritating flick, this title got _everything_ . It is kind of an Italian remake of Terminator, the plot is dull with glimpses of sheer idiocy galore. The characters are stereotypical, they act as badly as possible, it's pathetic, special effects suck bad and are superfluous too. Believe me, watching "Cyborg guerriero d'acciaio" (the original title) is more painful than watching "Turkish Star Wars" or some productions from India because while most of those hilarious films seem directed by Borat, this one lacks even such a questionable bonus. Everything seems spoiled on purpose like in "The lost skeleton of Cadavra" but isn't. It is just the ultimate apotheosis of idiocy, bad taste, lack of ideas, exploitation, crappy acting, no budget and shamelessness . The only possible way of watching this and surviving is to call a few friends, get drunk and fall asleep in front of the screen as soon as possible.