The greatest movie ever!

The greatest movie ever made..!

Boring

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

This movie was on last night and was truly AWFUL. I didn't expect much because the channel that it was on shows nothing but ninth rate "horror" movies. The acting was sub local rep standard. The "plot" was absurd. The characters were children's cartoon book like. The "hero" and his pal were utterly nerdy. The "giant" croc appeared to be about six feet long. The bad guys were inept losers. The local girls all looked like back street prostitutes. The "hero" got into trouble with the bad guys TWICE in the first few minutes and his geeky pal just happened to be driving close by to rescue him both times. What more can I say. Save yourself the sleep inducing time and avoid this none film.

I've seen some dreck masquerading as film, but this really took the biscuit. Dismal, amateurish, pedestrian, gratuitous, moronic drivel without a single redeeming feature. worse than the shabby acting and direction though, was the sense of something nasty lurking at the heart of the movie. Distasteful in the extreme; and quite, quite odd.The structure is quite strange, the characters are cyphers and the direction has a strange, claustrophobic quality that taints every scene with a weird, 1980's-south-african-cinema intensity that's quite nauseating. The Crocodile's utterly out of scale and the child's death is unnecessary and quite vile. I'm unsure what the intention of this piece of cinema was, but I'm quite certain, judging by the confused mish mash vomited onto the screen, that whatever they were, they were not attained. Avoid.

CROC is one of the better entries in the Maneater series of made-for-television movies. Actually, director Stewart Raffill and "Miami Vice" & "Crime Story" scribe Ken Solarz are paying tribute to "Jaws" with this story about a renegade Australian crocodile that is about 20 feet in length and is creating a reign of terror in scenic Thailand. This big feller likes to slip up into the wading beaches and snack on an unsuspecting tourist. Once ole snapper snags him a body, it tows it back to its cave and lets it rot until it smells ripe enough to chow down on. Jack McQuade (Peter Tuinstra) runs a crocodile zoo and his arch-enemies are trying to put him out of business so that they can acquire his prime real estate. Initially, the authorities blame crocodiles that were let out of his zoo for the deaths, but a television news crew records footage of the giant reptile cruising the waters of the channel. About thirty minutes into the action, Croc Hawkins (Michael Madsen of "Die Another Day") shows up on the fringes quietly making notes about the victims and where they died. He limps around on a steel leg and has vowed to kill the giant croc. What sells this movie is a good performance by Madsen but largely the chomping scenes when the big feller strikes. This sneaky creature slips into the house of the villain and takes a bath in his swimming pool. When the villain takes a swim, CHOMP! When the brother of the villain scoops the head of his old brother out of the pool, big croc lunges out and tears off his arm. Our heroes track the big guy down to a cave at the mouth of a river. The blood & gore set this one about and Raffill occasionally scares up a modicum of suspense. The big croc attacks look really cool, especially when he gobbles a kid in one gulp.

Another in Sci-Fi (SyFy) channel's never ending quest to rip off famous monster movies with silly copies, and rip human victims to pieces to accomplish this.Mutant crocs develop a taste for human cuisine, and run amok in some Asian coastal town. Victims rarely have names, but plenty of spurting red paint when a croc makes a Big Mac out of them. Few characters get even one click above nameless slaughter-meat: an animal welfare agent (who also handles animal social security and animal medicare), a croc hunter (a Capt. Quint clone from Jaws), a carnival barker guy who does a sea-life Shamu type show, carnival barker's moronic cousin, and a stereotypical sunglasses and black suit bad guy in a limo (who looks like he was supposed to be in a kung-fu movie, but got on the set for this one by mistake). Said baddie has countless stooges who end up as croc snacks, of course.The acting is questionable, but I've seen worse. The director gives this routine hungry monster flick some good pacing, although the script writer has offered nothing new. The croc is just some Animal Planet footage, and the dozens of decapitated heads are obviously Halloween masks with red paint splattered on them. I did like the puppy's acting; his barking was very realistic. He and the croc are the standout performers.You'll know two minutes in who's gonna get devoured, and the fact that this film will win no Oscar awards. It is however, good cinematic fast food, which is all it's trying to be.