You won't be disappointed!

hyped garbage

Dreadfully Boring

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

When a man by the name of "Kayama" (Shigemitsu Ogi) is suspected of being in charge of a smuggling operation, "Rei" (Saori Ono) is ordered to get close to him while her superiors gather enough evidence to form a course of action. In the process of doing that Rei encounters a jealous secretary and an unscrupulous associate of Kayama who wants Rei in the worst possible way. Along with that she still has other assignments she has to execute as well. Now as far as this film is concerned I will just say that--although it wasn't the best addition to the "Zero Woman" series—it wasn't exactly the worst either. Saori Ono performed creditably as the lead actress and the plot consisted of enough intrigue to keep things interesting. Likewise, not including any deviant sex scenes certainly didn't hurt either. One thing I didn't care for was the ending which left much to the imagination due to its ambiguous nature. Since there are a couple of films in the series after this one then I suppose everything will be cleared up in the next one. In any case, I thought that this was an okay film for the most part and I have rated it accordingly. Average.

Maybe there are some that think that Zero Woman will always be a zero, but this movie will disappoint many and was a thrill to me.They always change the main character. This time it was Saori Ono, by far the most beautiful of the Zero Woman, and with the help of the scriptwriter, the most literate.This movie has nudity, sex, and violence, but not to the level of the other ones I have seen. That will disappoint those strictly looking for sexplotation.There was actually a romantic element to this one, as Zero Woman falls for the criminal (Shigemitsu Ogi), who was himself an ex-Zero assassin.I enjoyed the performances of both main characters and feel that this movie deserves more than most would give it.

Alright then...now to the juicy details of the film. It starts off with Zero Woman bumping off some shady dudes in a car lot, I might add, wearing this crazy and tacky outfit that can be best be described as a shiny silver zip lock bag. The killing is pretty lame with students at film schools probably able to make it look more believable (After a while, you get used to the tackiness...as explained why later). After her massacre, she checks the items being transported, and as thrillers dictate, its drugs and cash. Our sexy feminine fatal then strolls away with the suitcase and its content.Cue opening credits while our lovely lady is taking a shower, which, in my mind, compensates for the low-budget feature. Hey, when you got a fine lady prancing around nude and scrubbing herself with sudsy bubbles and jet streamed water dripping all over her delicious body, you go with the flow and enjoy. Hey now...we're guys...its in our DNA!! Thankfully, this lasts for a good long minute or so. Its one of the highlights of the film, so feel free to be obliged to rewind many times. To put it bluntly, Saori Ono is drop dead gorgeous, and unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any other movies to see her in. What a shame.Next scene-we see our hero Rei now on the down low, trying to lead a normal life, but she ends up getting fired at the restaurant where she worked, which though is not the first time getting canned, affects her psyche knowing that her life as a hired gun really means she has to be undercover all the time. Hence, zero identity. Anyways, while getting fired by her geeky café boss, Rei sees in the newspapers that the thugs she killed were actually cops. Hmmm...the plot thickens...okay not really.We then go to an empty racing track, where Zero Woman is required to meet her Agency boss. Its a slick, greasy haired shady looking Japanese man who tells her what her next assignment is-only he doesn't know it yet, so basically this scene is a waste, only for the audience to see our hero with her boss, and the animosity she holds towards him and the agency. Okay? Like that's fully explained in the movie!?! Rei then gets a new job at a plant store, and she delivers a shrub to a president of a company, Mutoh, that appears to be a tech business. Some cheesy scenes between Rei and Mutoh as he helps her with it, which puts the AZN cheese in this Asian "thriller" (so far, the only thing that thrilled me was the shower opening credits) makes the foreshadowing affair pretty obvious. Also obvious is the fact that Mutoh is the bad guy of the film.Next scene- Rei gets a call again from her agency boss, and when they meet again at the race track, her boss tells her to track a dangerous arms and drugs dealer...who funnily enough, was the man she just delivered a plant to. But by going to meet her boss, she gets fired from her plant delivery job.Anyways, Rei goes back to follow Mutoh, and they bump into each other at the local Y in the swimming pool. Now, I would have preferred her wearing a bikini, but Saori Ono makes a one piece look damn fine. Some more cheesy lines between the two, and the inevitable dinner date occurs after Rei wins a bet.During dinner, Mutoh is smitten by Rei (like we all are) and offers her a job in his real company, not the front company. I must add she looks extremely hot in this red dress and with her hair done. Man, how I wanted to see her stripping it off, but sadly, that doesn't happen. Anyways, Mutoh mentions the danger involved in the job, but Rei is intrigued. She says she'll come by the next day at his office with her CV. When that happens, Mutoh looks over her resume, says that he has an assignment for her and hands her a suitcase and some car keys. She is supposed to trade a suitcase for another with a drug king pin he is working with.

Okay now. I was bored at home one night, scanned through the In Demand movies that were available, and was intrigued to see a couple of Japanese thrillers that were available. Stopped by IMDb to read more about them, and though they were all rated pretty poorly, I admit I was extremely intrigued by Zero Woman Returns cover (you would be too if you saw it...hell, I would buy a poster of it if I could!)...so much so that I gave in and sucked up the $3.99 to watch the movie. Was it worth it?? I'll give you my drawn out opinion.First, a primer. Zero Woman is a series where a hot smoking babe named Rei working for Tokyo's Police Department secret agency called Zero Division goes undercover to infiltrate and then later bump off drug kingpins, mercenaries, and low life criminals and their henchmen. All while looking sexy and saucy, and yes, getting naked to get the "job" done. The series is said to be popular for its bloodiness and violent sequences, but with this particular movie, I thought the violence was rather tame. In fact, everything in the picture seemed to have been done on the cheap, such as using a common digital camera that porn cinematographers would use, going on location at offices, a person's home, and a wharf where extra's were blatantly staring and la-la-ling around, and where sequences were poorly cut.Zero Woman Returns doesn't necessarily try to explain how our heroin inevitably joins the secret agency, but since I suppose it was meant to be an ongoing series, like James Bond, I guess it doesn't need to. Still, some flashbacks to further explain what happened prior, would have been beneficial, even if that means redoing shots with the different actress playing Zero Woman. Just my two cents.