Don't Believe the Hype

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

A group of female friends (around 25 years old) are being stalked by a man who seems to be a boy they bullied at 12. People start dying, a detective tries to solve the mystery, and the girls start having differences between them. The main idea, despite simple, is not bad. But the script is actually dull and ridiculous. And the acting, as you can imagine with that casting, is painfully poor. The "monster" of this movie, is a character about which we know nothing. This means there are no fascinating psychic features in his personality neither strange behaviors, an interesting lifestyle, strong and weird motivations, not even curious aesthetic aspects. He is a standard man wearing a ridiculous Cupid mask, without breaks, grime or anything to make it sordid. Among the girls there are no attractive psychic profiles or intimate conflicts either. And, of course, there are some extremely soft erotic moments (no nudity neither sex involved) around Denise Richards' character (her neck is the wildest thing you'll see and that's why this Review's Title), completely gratuitous and disconnected with the plot. The killing scenes are pathetic. Victims behave stupidly like Carmen Electra's character in Scarie Movie. The killer has no sinister behavior. And the act of killing itself is often physically absurd and visually not depicted. To sum up, there is nothing terrifying, sinister or even dark in this movie. It's basically a dumb "horror" flick for kids to watch a Sunday at 9pm with mom and dad at the living room. Of course, shooting, sound design, cinematography, editing, wardrobe and locations are not interesting, sharp or expressive either. By the way, it is absurd that this film got Certificate 16 at the USA. It's one of thousands of examples proving that the MPAA must seriously revise their labeling criteria.

There's one in every school, that boy or girl with thick lenses in their nerdy glasses and always staring like some pervert, acting all religious or obsessed with video games, maybe even concealing their love interest. Remember Carrie (1976), Sleepaway Camp (1983) and The Pit (1981)? Well, this freaky little 2001 slasher has an antagonist equally as nerdy, a boy named Jeremy. When he was a kid, a fat girl kissing him framed when she was caught by the popular boys, claiming that Jeremy tried to rape her when he didn't. Years later, Fatty Dorothy is nothing like she was before, and she and her snobby group of friends have forgotten Jeremy. Unknown to them, somebody wants the entire group dead.Why does Valentine have such poor ratings? Well, it certainly doesn't compare to classics like Sleepaway Camp or My Bloody Valentine (1981). That being said, Valentine is a pretty good slasher film for its time. I can't say I liked the awful 21st century soundtrack but the acting was pretty good and the film managed to be entertaining the entire way through. It definitely beats movies that came out later on the next year like Death Factory and Resident Evil (2002). I'm not saying you'll want to add it to your list of favorite horror films, but give it a chance.

Friday the 13th Meets Halloween! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In this Case its true. For me at least. But, I see a lot of reviews of this movie that bash it and dog it. The fact that it came out right on the line of when gore movies became popular is probably why people didn't like it. The movie wasn't filled with in your face gore the gore was more like a Friday the 13th. The Killer was very Michael Myersish, which is what I loved about it. The kills as i said where very Friday the 13th. while we are trying to figure out who the killer is the whole movie, That was very Prom Night. Now for my review. The Movie was Very vibrant with colors and at the same time was cold and dark and would send chills up your spin when you would see The Cherub in the shadows. The opening sequence was great I felt like he wasn't in a hurry to kill his victim but was very patient reminded me so much of The Shape from Halloween. The movie builds up suspense like most 80's horror but it also has the campy charm as well. So sad that we will never see a sequel How ever I intend on making a fan film sequel.

So I've just finished watching Valentine, and for those of you who don't like reviews that are too long - let me start off by saying it's definitely worth the watch. Good ol' late 90's Slasher/Thriller. My main problem with such films is that they are tagged/labeled as Horror. Having a killer in a film, even this kind of stalking creepy killer, doesn't make a movie Horror. There are many films that resemble Valentine in many aspects and features that weren't labeled as Horror, so why? Because it had blood in it? Just my opinion.Valentine, as I said, one of the better Slasher/Thriller films of the new millennium. It has all the makings of suspense and "on edge" sensation. I personally found the dialogues to be superb, absolutely my favorite part of the film, especially the "letter from hell" style Valentine cards and Gary's discussion with Kate. Respect to all 4 screenwriters (and of course to Tom Savage, writer of the novel). Also, great soundtrack! Really enjoyed the music.As for acting, it was also good, especially Denise Richards who really aced the role of the flirty-slutty member of the group (none of the actresses lacked good looks, and still Richards really manages to stick out). Nice work also by David "Angel" Boreanaz who really managed to get into the role of the guilt-ridden slightly neurotic boyfriend with the drinking problem, although his "drunk act" wasn't all that convincing.As for the story - nothing special about it, basic Slasher type revenge tale. It appeared that I hadn't really understood the ending before I read about it in the message boards here, but it was also good. Could have used a better, smarter and slightly more obvious twist to it, a good twist is what makes a good slasher great.All in all, Valentine is definitely a worth while film that I'm glad I got to watch, even 11 years after it's release. Recommended!