Expected more

An absolute waste of money

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

Ain't Treasure Island the best story ever about a bunch of adults trying to kill a child? This is a version from the nineties that I picked up for seven pence, with Jack Palance as Long John Silver. I'm still holding out for a copy of that Italian one set in space, because there's no way that can't not be not good.You know the story: Some fud called Jack works in a doss house in Cornwall while his mum lies in bed claiming Employment Support Allowance. One day this tosser turns up and gets wasted and tells Jack to watch out for a guy with one leg (whom I'd imagine is also claiming some sort of disability benefit). Then this blind guy turns up (more disability benefit) and curses the other guy. Before you know it loads of guys turns up and try and kill everyone and Jack ends up with a map and so on and so forth. After nearly being killed several times by various pirates, Jack ends up on a ship with a small crew of English gentleman and a much larger crew of obvious pirates who are definitely not just waiting to kill the gentry and get a hold of that map. Jack Palance shows up as definitely not the leader of the pirates and they all head of for some island. Following some man on man love action that was cut from most versions of this film (they are at see for months you know and no one likes to be alone), they all finally get to the island so they can start killing each other. By this time Jack's run off and met this arsehole called Ben Gunn, Silver's got his pirates up against the gentry, and there's a battle on the beach where only a few live to travel the sea once more. The End. What you'll notice first is that the island is this version of treasure island is a bit…Nothern European. I had it pegged as Ireland but it turns out to be the Isle of Man (you know, that island where everyone has three legs). You'll also notice that they didn't bother doing anything with Bristol and just used the city as it looks today (including the hookers). This story can't be ruined so it's a fair bet you'll enjoy this one.Now go away, I'm overdue my injection of smack. (The preceding is a transcription of the 1996 episode of FILM '99 with Barry Norman)

That the story is such a classic and that it had Jack Palance in it were two reasons enough to give this much-maligned adaptation a try. Unfortunately, this adaptation of Treasure Island just doesn't work at all and by far the worst version, to me the only really bad one as well. It's a disaster as an adaptation, and judging it on its own terms(which this reviewer considers a fairer approach and always tries to use it) there's little to praise it either. The locations are beautiful indeed if not always tropical enough, the Hispagnola is fantastically rendered and the adaptation is well shot, the start is quite strong and there are a few good performances with Kevin Zegers' appealing Jim Hawkins, Walter Sparrow's humorous Ben Gunn and Patrick Bergin's gusty Billy Bones. Jack Palance is the big name here, he certainly tries his best as Silver and looks the part in a role that on paper he was perfect for but he deserved much better scripting and direction than what he got. Because what we got was a waste of a great actor's talents, there are numerous points where Palance is very charismatic and engaging but when the scripting is particularly poor there is the sense that Palance knew it was poor and gives up. The rest of the acting shows little enthusiasm either, in fact most of the cast go through the motions. Characterisation is incredibly weak here and not really in the bland sort of way but in the grossly distorted sort of way, where we have the least frightening Blind Pew imaginable and interesting characters like Squire Trelawney now one-sided caricatures, and the less said about the good guys now bad thing the better. What was really disappointing was the lack of development in Silver and Jim's relationship, crucial to the story and very interesting and potentially poignant but hardly seen. And you know something's wrong when you can't really tell whether Silver is good or bad, no other adaptation of Treasure Island has had that problem. But other than the bizarre treatment of the story and characters the main problem with this Treasure Island adaptation was how lazy it felt. The script is one corny muddle with some parts only feeling like padding which only succeeds in slowing down the pacing, and the story is plodding and completely lacking in adventurous spark, intensity and mystery that would have been there if just a little if the stockade assault had not been left out. When it comes to the changes, changes to a story is not a problem but it can be if the changes are basically useless and drag the adaptation down and that was exactly the case with this Treasure Island. It also depends on the nature of the changes and here it just felt bizarre in a way that you don't want to witness again. The adaptation is hurt even further by too much focus on Black Dog, a secondary character originally and it feels like it, an incredibly rushed and anti-climatic final battle and a very tacked-on and toe-curlingly cheesy ending that leaves a sour taste in the mouth. All in all, lazy and uncomfortably weird, a very bad version(even on its own terms) and not worth bothering with unless you are a fan of Palance or one dead-set on seeing every Treasure Island adaptation available. 3/10 Bethany Cox

I've never read the book. In fact, the only version of this novel I knew was a comic book version where Dennis the Menace was Jim. And I don't even remember anything about that except that Long John hit one of the other pirates for showing Jim his long underwear, and that Ben Gunn looked like he hadn't seen another person in years.And this type of adventure movie is not really for me. But it was all that was on, and I seem to recall it was a literary classic. Still, it seemed to be a family adventure if you don't mind the blood (personally, I could have done without quite so much violence). I thought Kevin Zegers did quite a good job as Jim, and while I was surprised Long John was so old, Jack Palance did a fine job with the role as it was written here.I thought most of the actors did a good job, particularly David Robb as the doctor and Walter Sparrow as Ben Gunn. Sarah Holland had maybe two lines as a young lady who seemed to have less than a stellar reputation, but she still managed to impress. I wouldn't rank this as one of the great movies. I also had trouble figuring out who was on what side--at times Long John seemed to be one of the good guys! But he was usually with the pirates. One thing is certain: most of the pirates seemed quite mean, ugly, dirty and unpleasant.It's an interesting way to spend a Sunday afternoon, I guess.

I've read the book a few times, I saw the movie from 1934, 1950 and 1972, and all of them were at least close to the book. This movie is really a big disappointment, the actors are bad, really bad. It starts with Jack Palance as Long John Silver, there is no charismatic and intelligent pirate leader. Captain Smollet, Officer of the English Empire bargains with Trelawney for a part of the treasure. The story details have totally changed - they really let the key characters, Trelawney, Smollet and the doctor die and Long John Silver, Ben Gunn (his enemy) and Hawkins get the treasure and sail the ship home. I really wondered that there were no alien-Nazis in the end.Time for a mutiny!